April 24, 2010

Current mood: Jaded

Monica said it once.... it's just one of dem days....

April 19, 2010

Welcome to Lagos: Vocal Slender

I heard about the Welcome to Lagos series that's currently being featured on the BBC in the UK. Being in America, we do not have access to that television station, not even through the world wide web - so I've appreciated the tidbits I've been able to get here and there. The series is going to focus on several aspects of the most populous state in the most populous country in the African continent. It will hopefully give a fair assessment of everything from A to Z.

A friend of mine sent me the link to this video and I thought it was quite enlightening. We get to see an aspect of Lagos that some wouldn't otherwise be privy to. I am so grateful to the people that thought this idea up. This featured piece is part of a larger one that has been edited to focus on one subject, Eric Obuh. This is real Reality TV. Hopefully in the coming weeks, I'll be able to get some more tidbits and share with you all.

One thing I know for sure is that Nigerians are very resilient and are very enterprising... and this video certainly opened my eyes more to that fact... Have a look see and Enjoy!



side note: Visiting different blogs, I am actually surprised at the number of Nigerians that are not happy with this documentary. They should note that it is a series and they have only seen one of the programs in the series. They claim it does not show Lagos in a good light and refer to the rich parts of Nigeria/Lagos that weren't shown. However these rich places are not the true representation of Nigeria/Lagos and this documentary in no way sheds a bad light on the situation that these people are facing...

For those interested... here's the 1st programme in the series:

April 15, 2010

Farting - Bad for romance

So I was talking to my sister the other day. I had some issues that I wanted to get her opinion on... being a newlywed and all. She was in the kitchen cooking some black eyed peas.... known to the common man as beans. Her husband was being all lovey dovey which caused her to be distracted with me. So I teased her about it and she said it was because he was hungry that he was disturbing her. I started making fun of them that why is he in a hurry to eat beans because before long they will also start farting all over the place.

Which brings me to a topic I've long since argued about. When you're dating, you're typically on your best behavior. No unnecessary burping and outright farting right? Everyone tries to be polite. So why is it that when you get married, all politeness goes away. I'm no psychologist or anything like that but I truly believe that all these polite habits that we develop and that are later discarded are harmful towards a relationship. I think it is appropriate to go somewhere and release your flatulence... of course there are times when it may just come out... but for the most part... I dont think it means you're 'forming' (being unreal) if you excuse yourself to take care of business elsewhere....

In light of keeping things fresh and romance alive within a relationship... all I'm saying is... It's the little things that count... what you do... and what you dont do

:-)

BTW: There's a new post up this Friday on the In My Dreams series... be sure to check it out!

April 9, 2010

Terms of Endearment

Picture from here
As with all things that start on facebook lately, I was reviewing someone's facebook profile page. It was his birthday and of course I saw the usual birthday greetings and joined the masses in wishing him a happy birthday. Reviewing other messages, I stumbled on one that caught my eye. A lady friend had written: Happy Birthday my love. May God bless you.

I thought this was weird. As all these people are in Nigeria, I thought there might be a cultural difference and so I decided to ask some friends that I had in Nigeria how/when terms of endearments are used. And for the most part people (females) said they would use words like darling, sweetheart and probably use it with someone of the same sex... Everyone was in agreement that 'my love' was not an appropriate term for a friend. 'Dear' seemed to be the most common and acceptable term used across sexes.

I remember in my freshman year of college, I used terms like 'babe' and 'sweetheart' when referring to people. The guy I was dating at the time mentioned it to me. He said he thought those type of names were reserved for him, so he felt special but he later found out otherwise. That cautioned me in my speech. I realized I had to watch the way I was talking to other people, especially of the opposite sex. I didn't want a situation where anyone would misread the intent of my conversations/attention.

So when I saw this message on this guy's facebook page, it took me back to my Freshman year and I wondered about that. Was there more to the relationship that wasn't being said? As a female, would you refer to a guy who was just a friend as 'my' love?... I tried to rationalize it but I just couldn't. It just seemed so weird to me. If someone had noted, 'Happy Birthday love...' I would understand that... but owning the love... by putting 'my', I think that puts a different spin on it. What if the guy had a wife? a significant other? a girlfriend? What would the girlfriend think by seeing that. If you were the girlfriend, and you didn't know who the girl was that wrote the message, would you brush it off as normal or would you scrounge your face and try to figure out what was going on? And if you knew a guy had a girlfriend... or maybe even a fiancee, would you still refer to him as 'my love'?

Personally, I think there is an issue when someone can refer to someone else as 'my' anything other than a friend if you are just a friend. Substituting the word Love with anything else other than 'dear', like honey, sugar, tender lover (LOL - that's a song if you didnt catch that)... I would find it highly inappropriate to refer to a friend who I am not in an intimate relationship with using such terms.

What do you think?



IN OTHER NEWS
What do Jaron's "Pray For You", Monica's "Get Away" and Beyonce's "Work It Out" have to do with each other?



well, they're all featured in the latest post on the In My Dreams, It Was Simpler blog.

What would you do if you found out your husband was cheating?
Find out how Folake responds to her husband's errant ways.

Let me know your thoughts on the above topic and then
click HERE to check out the story/blog and be sure to have a great weekend!

April 7, 2010

Random thoughts: Life

Is life worth it

The pain

The tears

When moments like this come, it’s hard to see the laughter

Hard to remember the good times

When confusion sets in

And no word is heard from above

What do you do then?

Maybe you need to turn left

But indecision makes you take a right

Is life still worth it?

Sticks and stones may not break my bones

But words do have a way of stripping and shaming you

Shaming me

When is enough, enough?

When is just a little bit, too much?

Every day… the journey…

What is it all worth?

Something? Everything?

Sometimes no…

Sometimes yes…

That’s just life I guess

April 5, 2010

WooHoo!!!! I Won!!!!!

Last year, Good Naija Girl had several contests to mark the one year anniversary of her new blog. I entered to win a jewelry set by the designer, Anne. I had to write a paragraph with no more than 40 words as to why I should win... so I did... [I blogged about it HERE]

In exactly 40 words, here's my winning entry:
“Your jewelry should tell a story. It should be able to inspire whimsical fantasies, make a bold and daring statement or tacitly showcase your elegance. I would love and consider it an honor to model one of her unique creations.”

Now today, on facebook, I saw there was a contest by BeachBum Photography. A couple of months back I had randomly received a friend request on facebook from a photographer. I saw that he was already friends with one of my favorite photographers... so I decided to check him out and was impressed...

The family went on a road trip and today, the contest was to guess how many miles they had traveled. I sporadically follow the blog and I remembered seeing something about it. So based on that information, I guessed a number and I WON!!!!!!!!!

The actual answer was 4433, my winning guess was 4175

I won a $25 Zazzle giftcard. Zazzle is great. Last year, I created a special card for a special blog friend for her bridal shower. I love being able to personalize stuff. I think I might use the giftcard to get a customized T-Shirt. I just need to think of a design now...

Today, I knew, would be a great day... and this has accented it!

Happy Easter Monday!!!!
Dont forget that on Friday, the latest installment in the blog soap opera - In My Dreams, It Was Simpler - will be published by me... it's Folake's story. Folake is the wife, who found out last season that her husband had a side attraction. Check it out now so you can catch up on previous episodes.

And please, show some love to BeachBum Photography by checking out their blog and the contest HERE and visiting their main site HERE

April 4, 2010

Happy Easter

Easter is here!

Thank God for seeing us through the Lenten period. What did you give up for Lent. Did anyone of you fast? Amongst other things, I gave up chocolate.... M&M peanuts specifically. It seemed almost like I was addicted to those things. I survived! Some things that you think you can't do without, you actually can... Maybe next year, I'll try TV. That will be serious because I always have it on, whether I'm watching it or not... perhaps it's my need for noise? I gave up listening to a certain radio station as well, and only had music from my iPod or a Christian station playing in my car. A lot of the gossip and news that go around, you really can do without!

Today, we have 3 services at church. I really thought I would be at the 1st service which started at 6am but I woke up too early, went back to sleep and woke up too late to get there on time. Last night, a friend had her birthday and I'm so glad I went to celebrate with her. I almost didn't go because the place we were going was very expensive but it was nice all the same. I convinced someone else that was invited - but was wavering in her decision- to go as well and it turned out we were the only two that did not cancel on her. Don't you just love planning things with people who cancel last minute? NOT!!!! That's the major reason I'm glad I went because it wouldve sucked if everyone didnt show up and she would have had dinner by herself. So we had a nice time, and I got home a bit late... Anyways, I do not like being late to church. If I'm going to be late to church, I just catch it online - which I'm doing now before the preaching starts- but it might be better to go late than not go at all... right?

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE. God bless you on this Resurrection Sunday. May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, reside within you on this day and forevermore... Amen

____________________

Fred Hammond will be the special guest artist at the 8:30a and 11am services. Bishop Eddie L. Long will be preaching at all 3 services! You are welcome to join our services live if you cannot make it to church today. You will not be disappointed.

click HERE to join the service live