August 4, 2010

How to be alone

July 4, 2010

Happy Independence Day

What a beautiful day it is...
Hopefully we all take a moment to reflect on what true freedom is...
I've been told it can be found in Christ Jesus... and I believe it!
check out the song I'm feeling this Sunday morning by Israel Houghton...
and once you're done with that, be sure to check out the newly updated TERC blog!

June 30, 2010

Bookshelf Recommendation

I picked up the book because it looked interesting. The cover page with its bright pink and orange hues appealed to me and the title looked interesting. I quickly glanced through it on my way to the checkout stand. It had a $3.99 sticker on it, compared to the list price of $24.95, so I picked it up thinking it couldn't hurt to buy it even if I never read it. I have paid much more for books that are still gathering dust.

This book was a delightful read. I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading it but I can tell you that I enjoyed it from start to finish. It begins with a retiree starting a marriage bureau to assist people looking for partners. It feeds the readers delectable bits and pieces of the Indian culture as we get to know each family member and the people that come through the bureau. It highlights how matches are made according to caste and religion and surprisingly ends with a sweet romance... Although the characters and setting are based in India, the stories are universal, which makes this book all the more relatable.

I found myself googling some things mentioned in the book to get a visual of what they were (like the style of clothing), and also thought about trying to make some of the dishes mentioned - I like to try out new things/experiment in the kitchen. There's a recipe on the back for an Indian Pudding, Halwa... I may try to make it one day.

So if you're looking for a summer read... I highly recommend this!

Just found out there is a book 2 (The Many Conditions of Love) already out, and a book 3 (Not All Marriages are Made in Heaven) soon to be released in 2011. It appears book 2 is not available in the U.S. bummer! So if any of my UK friend wants to get me an early birthday/Christmas/just because present.... :-)

Have a lovely and safe 4th of July weekend!

click HERE to check out the author's site
click HERE to purchase the book through Amazon

June 11, 2010

How to make (and enjoy) chocolate chip cookies!

Do you like warm, soft, gooey chocolate chip cookies?

Well I've found the recipe that is very simple for all.

  1. Go to your local grocer's fridge
  2. pick up a tub of tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough
  3. come home
  4. get your pan out... you can put some wax paper on it
  5. follow instructions on tub
  6. put in oven
  7. bring out and allow to cool
  8. take a bite...
  9. and share some with friends.
  10. savor and enjoy!
Happy Friday people... saw this lurking in my drafts... I was on a Tollhouse cookie craze then... they're soooooo delicious... seriously... you should go get some... and I will go get some later today!

A BIG THANK YOU to the kind thoughts and prayers I've received since my father passed away. Thank you for the song dedication Ms. Ola! I try to live in each day, knowing that tomorrow is not promised. I know all is well in Jesus' name. Amen

There's a new post up in the In My Dreams series.... Folake's story. For those who need a reminder, Folake is a music exec who's had a great life... that is until she got married and started having issues with her husband. They live on two different continents. He has a side attraction. She's trying to deal with all of that, while exacting her own form of revenge: she slashed his tires and destroyed his apartment/flat. Lots of drama right? Well it's not all about drama... Find out what she's up to now by clicking HERE

May 22, 2010

The Loss, The Pain, The Aftermath

Sunday, 12:20am EST
I received a call. It had been storming pretty bad in Georgia and I was staying up to keep track of what was going on... to see if I'd need to take cover due to a tornado watch. So seeing the number on the caller-id was no surprise. Because I just knew that it was a check-up call... to see how I was doing... to see if I was okay and taking the necessary precautions.

The caller on the phone told me my father was dead.

There was a strange silence because I just knew that it couldn't be true. So I said the first thing that came into my head. "That's a lie." and I kept repeating it. And then I started to cry hysterically. I couldn't stop... my movements somehow saw me from my bed to the floor. I couldn't believe it. How could my father be dead. There was nothing wrong with him. I asked how he died but the reason didn't matter. I didn't want to believe it.

I called my mom, one of my siblings.... I begged them not to tell my family around me because I knew everyone would want to come around and I just didn't think I could take it. Those instructions were ignored. People were worried about me... the phone rang off the hook..

I decided I would try to act normal because I wasn't sure how to act. I decided I would go to church... maybe even go to work that Sunday and do some hours. I knew once I heard the news of my father's passing, that there was no tornado that would come my way. I just knew there was no way that God would let anything happen to me. So I slept for about an hour, woke up and got ready for church.

Driving down the interstate, my aunt and cousins called me and I became hysterical once again. Everyone urged and pleaded with me to pull over before I got myself in a wreck. I did. I turned my car around and drove back home. The car I was in, was my first ever car purchase and it was my dad that was there with me and negotiated everything and got the insurance and all. I went home and my family came around and for a while it was all good. They helped keep me sane... brought me food to eat... just kept me company...

I went to work the next day and for the remainder of the week. Only one person knew and I told her not to say anything. I had to keep a tight reign on my emotions and I didnt want anyone to know and tell me how sorry they were and blah blah blah. I was trying to be the strong me that I know to be

Tuesday, 11:30am PST
I flew in from ATL in preparation for my father's funeral. A couple days before, with much tears, I had written my tribute to my dad and set it aside. I had basically written about some fun memories. How my dad would never walk me down the aisle, or know my children and how I didn't know if this pain would ever go away. I am not even 30. I feel I'm too young to have lost my father, especially one who was so normal... healthy.... so alive... He had left a voicemail about a month before to check on me and I had saved it... He just basically said, "This is daddy. Just calling to check on you. I love you"... and I listened to it over and over again. Unfortunately I didn't know how to save my voicemail so when 30days rolled around, it was automatically deleted. I even called his phone just to hear him speak and left him a message... just in case from Heaven, he's still checking it.

My father's funeral wasn't always the easiest thing. My siblings went to check out my dad to make sure he looked okay for the viewing. I didnt go. But they later urged me to go. I caught a glimpse of my dad and had so sit down for a minute. I was shaking because I didnt know that I wanted to remember my dad like that. I wasn't sure how he was going to look but I was assured he was okay. So I approached his open casket, tentatively, one foot infront of the other, and then finally I was infront of him. He looked great... as great as a dead person can look I guess. He looked like he was sleeping. He was cold. I touched his face... his body adorned in native wear... I wondered if I could somehow jolt him to life. Clearly not.

After my father's funeral service, there was so much family politics going on that disgusted me. Why the people who dishonored my father, considered it their right to be involved in his personal business was beyond me. I stated as much in the supposed family meeting that we had. The nerve of these people to think that outside of his nuclear family that they had a say in my father's affairs really upset me... People who don't even have their own houses in order. What's worse, they wanted to make it seem that as his children, we had no rights or that we had ulterior motives. Even if we did, it was not and is not their business. The person who wailed the loudest at my father's funeral was the worst culprit. I was disgusted. Was she wailing in guilt? Was it all a show? Pretty much, I was ignored my most of my father's 'beloved' hypocritical family. I clung to my siblings and soon I was headed back home to Atlanta. Most of what we were hoping to accomplish, we did. We prayed for peace and there was. We prayed the ceremony would be free of drama, and it was. I knew a person who came thinking there would be drama but to the glory of God, none of that took place.

A friend of mine told me, weddings and funerals, that is when a lot of people's true emotions come out. That is when people want to show their true colors.

What I found out through this process was that I had a wonderful network of friends... blog friends... real friends... even my fiance's family was very supportive... and my mother's family has always been and will continue to be the best! I received so much love from so many places, a few that were unexpected and I thank God for that. People would call me, send me messages... even till today... and I am thankful!

It's hard some times. I returned to work, although it's been recommended that I take some time off to heal. I'm not sure how long that is supposed to be. I have this new normal now... I am okay in front of everyone but when I'm by myself I break down... I try to block some thoughts that come in just so I can be okay... and not be a blubbering crying mess infront of people. I miss my dad. I was daddy's girl... his baby... and I wish I could have him back just to hold him, talk to him, laugh with him, even argue with him.. everywhere I look, I am reminded of him... such was our closeness and his influence in my life...

There is a reason for everything.... There is a time for everything... It was daddy's time... I have not questioned God about it because there is no need... it's just a little painful... maybe a lot painful...

But what I will say is this... Get your stuff in order... your will... your finances.... get it all in order... we always think we have time... but truly... we don't know how much time we have and trust me you don't want stupid family getting all up in your business and please don't think you are too young to have these things in order... you are not too young. Death isn't something that should be feared... it is something that will happen to everyone. I'm glad my dad had certain things in order because no matter how much the family twists and turns, they can't change what he set. Everything else that has to be dealt with, I know that God will handle it! (Isaiah 54:15)

This is important: Please love the people around you... every chance you get... because once they die... there are no do overs.

May 2, 2010

Welcome to Lagos: The Series

After the first episode, I had high hopes for what the series would bring but I soon became a bit disappointed that the whole Welcome to Lagos series only seemed focus on one aspect of Lagos. Truly the human stories stuck out in all of this but I think they could have made the reporting more balanced by highlighting other parts of Lagos. It was very enlightening to watch the way some people live, make a living and in general enjoy life. Sometimes, it makes you grateful for what you have. When you see someone saving up to get their own place made of a few wood planks, you shouldn't complain about your two-story home being too small. I would probably say having gratitude and appreciating your life, is all about having the right perspective.

For those who havent had a chance to watch any of it, I have embedded them below. Enjoy and have a blessed start to your week.




April 24, 2010

Current mood: Jaded

Monica said it once.... it's just one of dem days....

April 19, 2010

Welcome to Lagos: Vocal Slender

I heard about the Welcome to Lagos series that's currently being featured on the BBC in the UK. Being in America, we do not have access to that television station, not even through the world wide web - so I've appreciated the tidbits I've been able to get here and there. The series is going to focus on several aspects of the most populous state in the most populous country in the African continent. It will hopefully give a fair assessment of everything from A to Z.

A friend of mine sent me the link to this video and I thought it was quite enlightening. We get to see an aspect of Lagos that some wouldn't otherwise be privy to. I am so grateful to the people that thought this idea up. This featured piece is part of a larger one that has been edited to focus on one subject, Eric Obuh. This is real Reality TV. Hopefully in the coming weeks, I'll be able to get some more tidbits and share with you all.

One thing I know for sure is that Nigerians are very resilient and are very enterprising... and this video certainly opened my eyes more to that fact... Have a look see and Enjoy!

side note: Visiting different blogs, I am actually surprised at the number of Nigerians that are not happy with this documentary. They should note that it is a series and they have only seen one of the programs in the series. They claim it does not show Lagos in a good light and refer to the rich parts of Nigeria/Lagos that weren't shown. However these rich places are not the true representation of Nigeria/Lagos and this documentary in no way sheds a bad light on the situation that these people are facing...

For those interested... here's the 1st programme in the series:

April 15, 2010

Farting - Bad for romance

So I was talking to my sister the other day. I had some issues that I wanted to get her opinion on... being a newlywed and all. She was in the kitchen cooking some black eyed peas.... known to the common man as beans. Her husband was being all lovey dovey which caused her to be distracted with me. So I teased her about it and she said it was because he was hungry that he was disturbing her. I started making fun of them that why is he in a hurry to eat beans because before long they will also start farting all over the place.

Which brings me to a topic I've long since argued about. When you're dating, you're typically on your best behavior. No unnecessary burping and outright farting right? Everyone tries to be polite. So why is it that when you get married, all politeness goes away. I'm no psychologist or anything like that but I truly believe that all these polite habits that we develop and that are later discarded are harmful towards a relationship. I think it is appropriate to go somewhere and release your flatulence... of course there are times when it may just come out... but for the most part... I dont think it means you're 'forming' (being unreal) if you excuse yourself to take care of business elsewhere....

In light of keeping things fresh and romance alive within a relationship... all I'm saying is... It's the little things that count... what you do... and what you dont do


BTW: There's a new post up this Friday on the In My Dreams series... be sure to check it out!

April 9, 2010

Terms of Endearment

Picture from here
As with all things that start on facebook lately, I was reviewing someone's facebook profile page. It was his birthday and of course I saw the usual birthday greetings and joined the masses in wishing him a happy birthday. Reviewing other messages, I stumbled on one that caught my eye. A lady friend had written: Happy Birthday my love. May God bless you.

I thought this was weird. As all these people are in Nigeria, I thought there might be a cultural difference and so I decided to ask some friends that I had in Nigeria how/when terms of endearments are used. And for the most part people (females) said they would use words like darling, sweetheart and probably use it with someone of the same sex... Everyone was in agreement that 'my love' was not an appropriate term for a friend. 'Dear' seemed to be the most common and acceptable term used across sexes.

I remember in my freshman year of college, I used terms like 'babe' and 'sweetheart' when referring to people. The guy I was dating at the time mentioned it to me. He said he thought those type of names were reserved for him, so he felt special but he later found out otherwise. That cautioned me in my speech. I realized I had to watch the way I was talking to other people, especially of the opposite sex. I didn't want a situation where anyone would misread the intent of my conversations/attention.

So when I saw this message on this guy's facebook page, it took me back to my Freshman year and I wondered about that. Was there more to the relationship that wasn't being said? As a female, would you refer to a guy who was just a friend as 'my' love?... I tried to rationalize it but I just couldn't. It just seemed so weird to me. If someone had noted, 'Happy Birthday love...' I would understand that... but owning the love... by putting 'my', I think that puts a different spin on it. What if the guy had a wife? a significant other? a girlfriend? What would the girlfriend think by seeing that. If you were the girlfriend, and you didn't know who the girl was that wrote the message, would you brush it off as normal or would you scrounge your face and try to figure out what was going on? And if you knew a guy had a girlfriend... or maybe even a fiancee, would you still refer to him as 'my love'?

Personally, I think there is an issue when someone can refer to someone else as 'my' anything other than a friend if you are just a friend. Substituting the word Love with anything else other than 'dear', like honey, sugar, tender lover (LOL - that's a song if you didnt catch that)... I would find it highly inappropriate to refer to a friend who I am not in an intimate relationship with using such terms.

What do you think?

What do Jaron's "Pray For You", Monica's "Get Away" and Beyonce's "Work It Out" have to do with each other?

well, they're all featured in the latest post on the In My Dreams, It Was Simpler blog.

What would you do if you found out your husband was cheating?
Find out how Folake responds to her husband's errant ways.

Let me know your thoughts on the above topic and then
click HERE to check out the story/blog and be sure to have a great weekend!

April 7, 2010

Random thoughts: Life

Is life worth it

The pain

The tears

When moments like this come, it’s hard to see the laughter

Hard to remember the good times

When confusion sets in

And no word is heard from above

What do you do then?

Maybe you need to turn left

But indecision makes you take a right

Is life still worth it?

Sticks and stones may not break my bones

But words do have a way of stripping and shaming you

Shaming me

When is enough, enough?

When is just a little bit, too much?

Every day… the journey…

What is it all worth?

Something? Everything?

Sometimes no…

Sometimes yes…

That’s just life I guess

April 5, 2010

WooHoo!!!! I Won!!!!!

Last year, Good Naija Girl had several contests to mark the one year anniversary of her new blog. I entered to win a jewelry set by the designer, Anne. I had to write a paragraph with no more than 40 words as to why I should win... so I did... [I blogged about it HERE]

In exactly 40 words, here's my winning entry:
“Your jewelry should tell a story. It should be able to inspire whimsical fantasies, make a bold and daring statement or tacitly showcase your elegance. I would love and consider it an honor to model one of her unique creations.”

Now today, on facebook, I saw there was a contest by BeachBum Photography. A couple of months back I had randomly received a friend request on facebook from a photographer. I saw that he was already friends with one of my favorite photographers... so I decided to check him out and was impressed...

The family went on a road trip and today, the contest was to guess how many miles they had traveled. I sporadically follow the blog and I remembered seeing something about it. So based on that information, I guessed a number and I WON!!!!!!!!!

The actual answer was 4433, my winning guess was 4175

I won a $25 Zazzle giftcard. Zazzle is great. Last year, I created a special card for a special blog friend for her bridal shower. I love being able to personalize stuff. I think I might use the giftcard to get a customized T-Shirt. I just need to think of a design now...

Today, I knew, would be a great day... and this has accented it!

Happy Easter Monday!!!!
Dont forget that on Friday, the latest installment in the blog soap opera - In My Dreams, It Was Simpler - will be published by me... it's Folake's story. Folake is the wife, who found out last season that her husband had a side attraction. Check it out now so you can catch up on previous episodes.

And please, show some love to BeachBum Photography by checking out their blog and the contest HERE and visiting their main site HERE

April 4, 2010

Happy Easter

Easter is here!

Thank God for seeing us through the Lenten period. What did you give up for Lent. Did anyone of you fast? Amongst other things, I gave up chocolate.... M&M peanuts specifically. It seemed almost like I was addicted to those things. I survived! Some things that you think you can't do without, you actually can... Maybe next year, I'll try TV. That will be serious because I always have it on, whether I'm watching it or not... perhaps it's my need for noise? I gave up listening to a certain radio station as well, and only had music from my iPod or a Christian station playing in my car. A lot of the gossip and news that go around, you really can do without!

Today, we have 3 services at church. I really thought I would be at the 1st service which started at 6am but I woke up too early, went back to sleep and woke up too late to get there on time. Last night, a friend had her birthday and I'm so glad I went to celebrate with her. I almost didn't go because the place we were going was very expensive but it was nice all the same. I convinced someone else that was invited - but was wavering in her decision- to go as well and it turned out we were the only two that did not cancel on her. Don't you just love planning things with people who cancel last minute? NOT!!!! That's the major reason I'm glad I went because it wouldve sucked if everyone didnt show up and she would have had dinner by herself. So we had a nice time, and I got home a bit late... Anyways, I do not like being late to church. If I'm going to be late to church, I just catch it online - which I'm doing now before the preaching starts- but it might be better to go late than not go at all... right?

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE. God bless you on this Resurrection Sunday. May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, reside within you on this day and forevermore... Amen


Fred Hammond will be the special guest artist at the 8:30a and 11am services. Bishop Eddie L. Long will be preaching at all 3 services! You are welcome to join our services live if you cannot make it to church today. You will not be disappointed.

click HERE to join the service live

March 27, 2010

On Air w/Verastically Livin' Talk Radio

Good Morning everyone!

I will be one of the three co-hosts on the show titled "I Object to this Marriage"
It starts at 10am and ends at 12pm EST. (2pm - 4pm GMT; 3pm - 5pm Nigerian time)

The premise of this show came when I heard something similar on the radio sometime last year and I asked Vera, if she'd do a show like that. She was gracious enough to agree. My friend Segun won't be there as I advised but he's been replaced by another blogger, Baroka.

Here's the line up: Me, Baroka, NaijaBloke and Vera. This is sure to be a great show!

There are two ways to listen in

online: You can also join in the chat, but to contribute to the chat you must register first!

via the phone: 1-646-929-1905 and if you'd like to contribute to the topic, and I hope you do, just press 1 and you will be placed in queue to speak with us.

You can also text your responses to the show: 1-443-834-9039 or email them to

Should you really tell a friend that you think their significant other is bad for them? Is it any of your business? If you want to know what my thoughts are on this topic, you'll have to join us! What are you waiting for? Go grab a quick snack and hop on over there, the show's soon to start!!!

p.s. If the chatroom doesn't come up and the show's started, refresh your screen!

March 25, 2010

Happy Thursday

Hola Everyone! What a week this has been... can you believe the first quarter of the year is almost through? As I get older, time seems to zoom by. This really just means that we need to make each day count. Here in Georgia, the weather has been having some epileptic episodes going from hot to cold to snow to rain all within the space of 48 hours. I guess the Spring memo hasn't been made available... but I'm not complaining.... it means less allergies... I think... I hope.

Some updates:

The In My Dreams, It Was Simpler's blog will be updated this Friday with Titi's story. Titi is the mistress we all love to hate so be sure to show your support.

TERC will continue it's weekly bible study session on Friday morning as well. It'd be nice for you to join us as we (bloggers and non-bloggers) share in the Word of God. Visit the TERC blog for details on how to join in the conversation

This Saturday, Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio, will be graced with my presence. :-) Naijabloke and a friend of mine, Segun, will join Vera and I as we discuss the issue of friends/relatives giving their two cents in a relationship/marriage. What are your thoughts? If you knew your friend's partner was trifling, would you tell? Be sure to tune in on Saturday from 10am - 12noon EST (2pm - 4pm UK; 3pm - 5pm Nigeria)


This past Monday, I stumbled on this song via It seems that the Music/Entertainment sector in Nigeria is growing by leaps and bounds. Kudos to them... I don't really follow the music like I did in the past.... It seems there's a heavier western influence on the music now and it's interesting to see some of the new talents that pop up and even the impressive quality of some of the music videos. I have a few friends that try to keep me in the know... can't really say I like them all. I thought this guy's voice was reminiscent of Asa... do you agree?

Enjoy! and don't forget to bookmark/set up reminders for the updates listed above!

March 20, 2010


I was randomly looking through some of my previous posts over the past couple of years and noticed that when I started blogging, I had something titled 'REflections' where I shared quotes or phrases that caught my attention... I haven't done so in a while so I thought why not...

My blogging as been quite sporadic... not sure if I'll ever get back to the swing of things the way it was.... everything has a season... so I'll update as I find necessary. I am currently involved with the In My Dreams series... so you can catch me on there as the character Folake. Next week Saturday, I'll be co-hosting on Verastic Talk Radio... I'll make the proper announcement some time before then

I hope everyone has had a lovely week thus far. Happy Weekend.


"I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am"

- John Newton

March 1, 2010

Righteous Woman

A friend, TB, sent/dedicated this to me recently.. I thought it was sweet... and I'm putting it on here.. cuz I need a place other than email to keep it... so why not share? :-)

This came from a book she was reading (will get the name later for proper credit)
I dedicate this to all the Righteous women out there... Happy New Month...

Righteous Woman

The moon and the stars glow at night

It’s their purpose and their God given right

Flowers and roses are appealing to a woman’s sight

As a still ray if sunlight shines so bright

Giving them color, stability, and light

It’s their purpose and their God given right

It was God’s every intention to create a woman like you

Giving you the ability to support, like a dark sky supports the stars the night,

giving them the opportunity to shine so bright

Support is a power that you have

Keeping the strong man from crying at night

It’s your purpose and your God given right

Jesus was simply born to die for you

So that you can receive the rights that God has for you

You have a right to be free from bondages such as shame, guilt, and worry

As you stand tall so proudly, boldly with your hands caressing your hips

As the words “I have victory”

Falls like a drop of honey from your candy coated lips

You are the righteous of God and that’s the truth

What’s going on in the world today doesn’t affect you

Because heaven has already labeled you as recession proof

If you sin, miss the mark , or fall short that’s ok

God’s grace has already made a way

The pain, the hurt, the embarrassment

This is why the blood was scattered to stop harassment

Use your rights that God has purposed for you

You can do anything, have anything and be anything

Success doesn’t come without a fight

And definitely doesn’t come over night

You are a queen who happens to rule and reign

Nothing can stop you but you

Because you understand the rights that God has given to you.

February 5, 2010

In my Dreams: Season Two

Don't feel left out
HERE to buy Season One
For a limited time, we are offering the Season One book at a discount!
The Ebook was £3.99, it's now £2.99 ($4.77)
The paperback was £7.99, it's now £6.99 ($11.15)

January 14, 2010

In My Dreams: Official Book Launch

Happy New Year folks. Surprised I remembered the name of my blog. It's been a minute. Well, I came out of hibernation to let yall know that the blog series that I became a part of, has now officially been put in a book format... I'd love for you to support this venture if you can... I have just now ordered the physical copy of the book and if you're impatient like I sometimes can be, you can get the e-book for immediate consumption...

Today is the official book launch. The first ten people will get a special discount. So hurry on up and check it out and as you do, please don't forget to spread the word. Thank you in advance for your support

click HERE to view/buy the book