June 21, 2009

Knock Knock: Happy Father's Day

Here's a powerful video of a poem by Daniel Beatty to commemorate this special day.


click to READ the poem

As a boy, I shared a game with my father—
Played it every morning till I was three.
He would knock knock on my door,
And I’d pretend to be asleep till he got right next to the bed.
Then I would get up and jump into his arms.
“Good morning, Papa.”
And my Papa, he would tell me that he loved me.
We shared a game,
Knock knock,
Until that day when the knock never came,
And my Mama takes me on a ride past cornfields
on this never-ending highway
Till we reach a place of high rusty gates.
A confused little boy,
I enter the building carried in my Mama’s arms.
Knock knock.
We reach a room of windows and brown faces.
Behind one of the windows sits my father.
I jump out of my Mama’s arms and run joyously towards my Papa’s,
Only to be confronted by this window.
I knock knock trying to break through the glass,
Trying to get to my father.
I knock knock as my Mama pulls me away
Before my Papa even says a word.
And for years, he has never said a word.
And so, 25 years later, I write these words
For the little boy in me who still awaits his Papa’s knock.
“Papa, come home, ‘cause I miss you.
I miss you waking me up in the morning and telling me you love me.
Papa, come home, ‘cause there’s things I don’t know,
And I thought maybe you could teach me
How to shave,
How to dribble a ball,
How to talk to a lady,
How to walk like a man.
Papa, come home, ‘cause I decided awhile back
I want to be just like you, but I’m forgetting who you are.”
And 25 years later, a little boy cries.
And so I write these words and try to heal
And try to father myself.
And I dream up a father
Who says the words my father did not.
“Dear son, I’m sorry I never came home.
For every lesson I failed to teach, hear these words:
‘Shave in one direction with strong deliberate strokes
To avoid irritation.
Dribble the page with the brilliance of your ballpoint pen.
Walk like a God, and your Goddess will come to you.
No longer will I be there to knock on your door,
So you must learn to knock for yourself.
Knock knock down doors of racism and poverty that I could not.
Knock knock on doors of opportunity
For the lost brilliance of the black men who crowd these cells.
Knock knock with diligence for the sake of your children.
Knock knock for me.
For as long as you are free,
These prison gates cannot contain my spirit.
The best of me still lives in you.
Knock knock with the knowledge that you are my son,
But you are not my choices.”
Yes, we are our fathers’ sons and daughters,
But we are not their choices.
For despite their absences,
We are still here,
Still alive,
Still breathing,
With the power to change this world
One little boy and girl at a time.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
We are.

and if you cant make it to church today, click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
(7:00am EST and 10:30am EST ::: london/nigeria time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

June 19, 2009

Hello! My name is Folake...

Did you check out the new blog series yet?
The series is the brainchild of FavouredGirl and This week I will be writing as one of the characters... so hop on over there and check it out.
Here's an excerpt:

I had everything. Working as one of top executives with Skye Records, I couldn’t complain. I had the pleasure of seeking out new talents locally and internationally and my position got me into the most exclusive places. I thank God because even though I was born with a silver spoon, Life couldn’t have been more perfect. I had no worries. I had a wonderful network of friends and business associates alike and there was nothing I wanted that I didn’t have or couldn’t get. Well, there was one thing I did want that I didn’t have yet. *Deep sigh* I didn’t have a man to call my own exclusively. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t lacking admirers. As a matter of fact I was admired quite well the other night but, it’s just not the same as having someone to call your own. I mean would you rather admire an Hermes bag or experience the pleasure of owning one?

wanna read more? click HERE
all feedback/comments/suggestions will be much appreciated

June 10, 2009

Got a light?

Need a cigarette...

only I dont smoke anymore... one health disadvantage is enough to deal with... no need to compound any issues...

and with all the potential dangers of smoking... i still want one...
I was never a "dedicated" smoker if you will... i was that statistic though... the one that said people start smoking at age 13... I was seduced into it by my cousin. I thought it was cool... even with all the education and anti-smoking ads out there... there this crazy "coolness" to it that I cant quite explain. I did it off and on... mostly off... but it did help to release some stress...
why do we crave things that are sooooooo bad for us... yet make us feel sooooo good...
the payoff really isnt worth it...

actually scratch that...
I dont need a cigarette
I need a vacation!!!

June 3, 2009

Love is a battlefield

finally the words click.
this love relationship business is no joke.

I've been in a relationship with the same guy for the past 6 years... and lately all we've been doing is fighting and making up... fighting and making up.... it seems like an endless cycle... and I started to wonder... maybe this is what divorce is like... you love each other... but only to the extent where you hate each other... if that makes any sense.... You're together so long that some how even though you're so used to each other and love that sense of familiarity, there is a longing to break free and have things change for the better. Why dont we have all the answers to everything... why cant I peak into the future and see what will happen. Or maybe the future is what is happening now and I dont want to accept it.

I'm a believer in love. I love romance novels. I love romantic movies. I love everything to do with love. I believe in the full expression of love in every which way you can imagine. I am a strong believer in And they lived happily ever after. I am very creative so it's not hard for me to imagine all the possibilities... and when my relationship started so many years ago... what didnt I do... everything and anything... all in the name of love... even people thought I was doing too much... and sometimes I have to wonder what ever happened to that fairy tale... my boyfriend and I broke up recently... and I'm not sure if we'll get back together... I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. I think of a relationship as a garden. If you dont water and weed it and prune the flowers and all that good stufff... if you dont work at the garden, then it will wither and eventually die. But if you want the garden to flourish, then you put in the work... even when you dont want to. And somehow I think le boyfriend and myself are either not working on the same garden... or one person is doing more work than the other and is bitter... it just seems like we're not on the same page.

continue reading...

Perhaps these are the signs that I'm supposed to see. But maybe in my mind I'm rationalizing them. Maybe I'm thinking...after so many years... should we just let go? Perhaps we both need to work harder on this battlefield and turn it into a field of joy and happiness. As I inch closer to 30, I find myself not worried about the age thing... I believe that I will get married at the right time... and the right time may be after 30 and with someone else. Talking to a girlfriend of mine recently, she reminded me how in college I always stated that getting married after 30 is the best... because then you're pretty much mature... hopefully you're in a good place in life and in a better mindset than when you're in your twenties... this conversation can never take place with my mother... and Im not adverse to getting married soon either... although the thought makes me apprehensive... (I wonder if this has anything to do with my parents)

I think any relationship can work if both parties are willing to put in the effort. But when one starts being taken for granted and another person says it's not in their character to express love in your language to you and seems to forcibly put in an effort.... perhaps it is time for the parties involved to part ways... and even though it hurts... time will heal those hurt feelings. For me, when you love someone, doing things to make them happy is something that should become natural... instinctual... it should never feel like too heavy a load to carry... a burden.. expressing love should just become a part of you... a part of your day... it should be more than just saying I love you... it should be doing "i love you" and showing "i love you"... it should be listening to your partner and really understanding what they want... how they feel... and what role you play in that... *deep sigh*

My boyfriend and I were together for a month this past holiday season... everyday! I think there was only one day when we didnt see each other and for a while when I walked, my feet did not touch the ground... but ever since then... it seems that we're on this battlefield and let me tell you it is tres exhausting... or is this a side effect of not being in close proximity? Of course there are different dynamics to this story that have not been exposed here... really really good dynamics... but with all this love today fight tomorrow business.... I wonder... is this a spiritual attack on a relationship so perfect... or rather one that should be perfect... or perhaps it's a reality attack... with a blinking red light... warning... danger danger... disaster (read: divorce) ahead! (and God forbid that I will get married, and not be happy... or that I will get married and get divorced... that is not my own portion in Jesus Name! Amen Amen and Amen)

say a prayer for me and bob if you dont mind!

and just to lighten the mood a little bit... here's a
delightful and very creative video that I stumbled upon recently... i dont know why but i've just been going goo goo ga ga over everything weddings... is this a sign? :-)

Fresh Hubby of LA from Digital Princess on Vimeo.

source: brokeassbride