August 7, 2009

War Against Indiscipline

This is the title that came to mind when I thought about writing this...

At work recently, two ladies were talking about how they used to get disciplined when they were younger and I was a bit shocked to hear it. Me personally, I was disciplined in a non-physical way which I totally subscribe to. My mom I think may have made an attempt to slap me once for being rude to her... but it wasnt anything that left a mark... it was more like a smack to my mouth. I remember one time I did something she expressly told me not to do, and I came back and told her... foolish young as I was. So she told me to stand on the spot and start doing ma kuru ma ga. (Almost like an exercise. You stand holding your ears and you go up and you go down, over and over again). I cried so much and trust me, I didnt do such again. What did I do? I wrote a letter to my dad's sister who was visiting next door and threw it over the fence. She said she would report me to my dad because she had come visiting me a couple days before and she felt that I did not greet her. I basically told her that she could tell my dad but he would not beat me! Kai! The wisdom of a child.

I remember another time, my brother and I had a tutor and I must have done something wrong because next thing you know, the tutor brought out koboko (horse whip) to beat me with... and he did it in such a way that the buttons on my dress came loose in the back. So I went into the house and showed my mama. Mama returned with a check and released him from his duties. Talk about an incharge woman! I love my mom like no one else.

But anyways... on this day at work... the ladies were talking about how her their mom used to discipline them when they were younger... not to the point of bruising... but to the point of welting and then tell them to get in the shower because apparently, water magnifies the pain. One lady even talked about how her brother used to fidget around so much so that the mother tied him up and put a sock in his mouth and beat him! Abuse anyone? I was so shocked to hear such. I'm sure worse does happen...

What is the limit when being physical as far as discipline goes? I dont know that I will be physical with my children. I just dont know that there is a need for that. When I would misbehave, my mom would talk to me in such a way that I would be convicted on my behavior and be reduced to tears. I think you can get creative with punishment. I remember I did something as a teenager and I was made to clean the bathroom in such a way that I made sure I never repeated the offense. There was a news article recently about this lady who was arrested for dragging her kid on a leash in a store... I dont know that using a leash is the best thing to do. [Article]

Anyhoo...was jut thinking about this...
do you subscribe to being physical???

It's another friday!!!! That means it's time for another installation of my short story about Folake.
Here's an excerpt:
“Dayo” I snapped back at him. “All that yoruba you’re speaking to me is rubbish.” I got up to pace around my room. I needed to expel this energy somehow. I really did need to get to this yoga class today! It was a beautiful day outside and there were lots of things that I could be doing to enjoy it and this conversation was not going in the direction that I wanted. “How the hell can I call you, as your wife, and I don’t get a call back for almost two days?”

please check out the rest of the story HERE
all feedback/comments/suggestions will be much appreciated.

Enjoy your weekend!

8 comments:

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

My mother never spanked me growing up. She always took the time to talk to me and explain things to me. God bless her for setting that example.

Yet, I believe that some children need to get spanked. I am not talking about a beating, spanking can be a swat on the back side or the back of the hand, but any discipline must be followed with love and an explanation clarifying why the child was disciplined.

That's what I do now with my 3 young ones. Though, I must confess that my eldest typically does not need spanking. It is my youngest that enjoys breaking every single rule and sometimes needs a spanking intervention.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Hope all is well with you and yours.

http://sassytrends.blogspot.com/2009/08/got-this-circulating-recently-and-im.html

NoLimit said...

I guess it depends on the child and how soon you start disciplining him/her...
I am not averse to a smack here and then...my mum did smack me...and I can tell you this...it sure paid off!!!
But she wasn't cruel in anyway...and there were times I wished she would just smack me instead of talking to me...those "talks" were always deep!

chayoma said...

My mum did spank me, but i can count the number of times on one hand. Goody two shoes :)
But her talks.... knife thru the heart i tell you. i would cry afterwards.

temmy tayo said...

I chop cane to the point that I nearly asked my mum if she was truly my mother.

I guess it was her own way of saying ''thou shall notbe spoilt''.

Now I find myself spanking my son who is not yet 1 when he annoys me, hubby doesnt it find it funny. But I keep saying my mum beat me and I didnt die!

Anoda Phase said...

someone tied her son up n put a sock in his mouth? waoh!...my dad used to talk to us, such that u'd prefer he actually beat u...but i think that's a better way of punishment...

children should be spoken to and given reasons why NOT to do something...but, the Bible also says "spare the rod and spare the child"...so, wisdom is needed to know when/if a little spanking is required...

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Dont even get me started..

but I will start on the installment.. very good..

how are you doing chica?

Lady A said...

Girl please, my mom wasted no time getting a switch from off they tree and taking the leaves off. The only treat was when she allowed us to PICK our own switch from off the tree. I found the smallest one possible.

Slm said...

hmm u guys r very lucky u got some1 to spank u. I didn't! at least not physically, mine was more of the psychological type. It leaves scars that last much longer dn d other one. thank God it had almost the same effect as I was able to watch out for my self at an early age.