March 3, 2009

Secrets to a successful marriage

I've been caught up recently in so many relationship things... I found a new fascination with all things relationshp/wedding related. I love to plan things naturally... people say I'd be a good events coordinator. It's something that I may look in to eventually. It probably has to do with my attention to the tiniest detail. Anyways I was recently reading an article that gave the recipe for a successful marriage... so I thought I'd share

Secrets to a successful marriage:

- Meeting through friends
- Marrying after three-and-a-half years of courtship
- Walking the aisle at age 31 for the groom and age 29 for the bride
- Keeping the spark alive with 3 calls, e-mails or texts during each workday
- Saying the L-word at least once a day
- Sex 3 times a week
- 4 Kisses a day

This conclusion was reached after surveying 3000 couples. click HERE for the article

I would add God to the mix... not trying to overspiritualize it but I think that having a close relationship with God is key. Im working on that... sortof! God help me! :-)

are you in a relationship? Do you want to be in one if you aren't? Do you know what your love language is? A couple of weeks ago I was fortunate to host a TERC session that talked about love and relationships and in it, I mentioned the bestselling book by Dr. Gary Chapman... The 5 Love Languages. I havent read the entire book but I will... hopefully... at some point. But there's a short quiz you can take... that will give you the results

click HERE to take the quiz.
My primary Love language is Receiving gifts. The least of it is Words of Affirmation. The thing about this is that it can apply to any relationship... even friendship. I love receiving gifts especially ones that have some thought put into it..

What's yours? Do share! :-)

Want to know what the five love languages are? click HERE


Kafo said...

my primary love language is words of affirmation i believe i didn't read the book but browsed thru it

i'll take the quiz later

amara said...

I just did the quiz, mine is quality time with receiving gifts lowest. That's true...the most important thing to remember I think is to speak the love language of the person we love and not our own! Thanks for the reminder. I started this book a while ago but haven't finished reading it..Remain blessed

THIRTY + said...

Acts of Service - 10, followed by words of affirmation.

Think I have half read the book.

babajidesalu said...

Hi DiAmOnD,

1st time here and I went through the Quiz as well. Good blog.

Physical Touch followed by words of Affirmation are my top two. Receiving gifts is last. Interesting stuff, I wondered how wifey would do?

With regards to having a good relationship, well, respecting where each partner is coming from in terms of background and be ready to compromise are must keys. To me, these are secrets aided with God Almighty's guidance.

Once you have accepted your partner for who (s)he is then, you have to be prepared to bite your lips all the time and release your innermost feelings at the appropriate time.

So timing is equally important. Yes, I know (s)he ought to love unconditionally. True, however, there are seasons and one has to respect the season your partner is in.

There are no set RULES for a successful marriage, just recognise what makes your partner tick and ensure you COMMUNICATE as opposed to TALK every day.

God bless

Dabizniz said...

These are so Onyinbo themeed though. I feel respect comes first..

Reverence said...

My #1 is quality time with gift and words of affirmation tied for second.

Its funny cos i am actually reading the book now.

Bombchell said...

i think the meetng through friends is a nice idea.

but wow marriage at 29. i thought that would be the year when fear hits, and u dont want to be 30 and single.

then again I'm guessing one is more mature, and knows what they are looking for.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Kafo... take the quiz... you might be surprised at what you find out

Jide... I agree with you that communication is key and as far as your results... I think for most guys, that would be what it is :-)

Dabizniz.... I dont know if it's necessarily oyinbo themed... but respect I know is quite imnportant especially for a guy

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Amara... how true that is... one must learn to speak the OTHER person's love language...

Rita said...

I enjoyed reading the comments of the article from the survey...

mypenmypaper said...

nice one.
My top-1 is Quality time(10), acts of service(7), words of affirmation(6), recieving gifts(4), physical touch(3).

I believe God is the ultimate secret to every successful marriage. God, Communication and Openness to one another.

Its also nice to know what your partner really likes, coz a way to sustain the Love and Interest is to continue doing for one another what each likes. Many of those things are so little that they could be easily overlooked.

thanks for sharing.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

MPx2... I gotta tell you... physical touch being the last thing is interesting... I thought for guys it'd be in the top two at least...

and you're right about God being at the core of every successful marriage... those little things count much more than people realize