December 25, 2008

Season's greetings!

Not Only Christmas Day

Lord, this is my prayer
Not only on Christmas Day
But until I see You face to face
May I live my life this way:

Just like the baby Jesus
I ever hope to be,
Resting in Your loving arms
Trusting in Your sovereignty.

And like the growing Christ child
In wisdom daily learning,
May I ever seek to know You
With my mind and spirit yearning.

Like the Son so faithful
Let me follow in Your light,
Meek and bold, humble and strong
Not afraid to face the night.

Nor cowardly to suffer
And stand for truth alone,
Knowing that Your kingdom
Awaits my going home.

Not afraid to sacrifice
Though great may be the cost,
Mindful how You rescued me
From broken-hearted loss.

Like my risen Savior
The babe, the child, the Son,
May my life forever speak
Of who You are and all You've done.

So while this world rejoices
And celebrates Your birth,
I treasure You, the greatest gift
Unequaled in Your worth.

I long to hear the same words
That welcomed home Your Son,
"Come, good and faithful servant,"
Your Master says, "Well done."

And may heaven welcome others
Who will join with me in praise
Because I lived for Jesus Christ
Not only Christmas Day

-- Mary Fairchild

E ku odun / Ekelere m gi maka Keresimesi na ubochi izizi afo ozo / barka dà Kirsìmatì
to you and yours

much love, Diamond

December 19, 2008

Feeling hot hot HOT!!!

I dont recall Lagos being this hot. My theory is that the ever increasing population on top of the overpopulation is the cause of this. There are too many people occupying space... taking some of the wind that's meant for me away.... too many shops... EVERYBODY has a shop... everywhere you look... it's either you see a restaurant or a bank.

I've been here for a week and I now take at least two baths a day... cold! After the initial shock of the cold water, it's all good. I dont even bother putting on lotion. It'd be hard to be ashy when all you're doing is sweating. I dont know if this is something that one can get used to

I havent taken much pictures. Frankly I've gotten over the urge to take so many pictures especially if I'm not going to print them or it's something that I'm going to look at months from now and not care about. There's one picture I wanted to take but my boyfriend's windshield wasnt allowing for a clear picture. I do need to take more pictures with people.. but seriously my hair is a mess... as in... I can curl it up in the morning and it falls flat every time cuz I'm sweating so much... Thank God I thought enough to get a perm before I got here...

Ope o... as I'm typing this... Power has been restored. I'd love to have the generator on all day long but it's just not a practical thing. We'd be spending $100 a day on petrol and diesel, which is ridiculous. There's a schedule here... Power is restored for about an hour from 12noon... Then it's out for about 4-6 hours.. .then restored again until midnight. I try to hold out... I really do... but yesterday morning... I woke up... and after working out I put on the generator straight! I just couldnt take the heat. I mean even without working out I was sweating already. When exactly does winter (Hamattan) occur in Nigeria... I thought this was the season for it

Anyways I'm grateful to God for everything and everyone. People really are wonderful. I am thinking of relocating but when I think of all the inconveniences... really Im not motivated. I told my uncle my salary requirement and he just laughed and told me if I found/he gave me a postion earning N2mil less than what I was looking for I better accept it. He told me to give him my CV in the new year... the only thing is I havent served and I DONT WANT TO. Is there a way to bypass it?

anyways enough of that
I had suya my first night... I've finally tried this ofada rice everyone raves about... my thought on it... kini big deal?... Maybe it's because I'm not a rice-y person... as in I can go months without touching rice... but I love meat.. chicken... I went to Nandos... tried out Chicken Republic... paid the obligatory visit to Mr Biggs, Big Treat... infact all I've done is eat eat eat... to my mom's annoyance... Junk Food... that's what she calls all of it... I'm like... why is rice and chicken junk food? LOL Although, it would be nice for people to have more baked chicken... than fried

How has your week been? How are you preparing for Christmas?
If you want to get me a gift... I just want a Walmart giftcard... with money loaded on it o... not the card by itself... I'm always shopping there...

[if anyone in Lagos reading this knows of a place I can print out a small publication... within the next week, at a reasonable price.... approx 100-200 copies, please email me the details]

Have a blessed weekend everyone

December 12, 2008

GMN: Good Morning Nigeria

I am home! I havent been here in a couple of years and I heard a lot of things have changed. This trip has been a long time coming for very very many reasons. My aunt who visited about a month ago stated that Lagos was much cleaner. hmmmm. I'm really looking forward to experiencing all of the good things that Lagos has to offer. I am not looking forward to the traffic. I am looking forward to eating some isi-ewu and some solid Nigerian food. I don't really eat so much Nigerian food at home... and I dont cook so often so it'll be nice to experience mommy's cooking. I'm looking forward to showing off some of my recipes and learning a few. I'm thinking of hosting a small dinner party... I'll see how that goes. There are many things I'd like to do and people I'd like to meet/get reacquainted with while I'm here and I pray for God's Grace and Favor and Strength and Protection... to see me through them all.

Have a blessed Friday and a wonderful weekend ahead.
much love,
Ms. D

December 6, 2008

I believe in God

There was a tag that was to start on December 1 which I was to be a part of but I didnt do it. I planned to do it but time somehow ran away from me. I really need to be better at time management... instead of facebooking during my free time!

When it was suggested, this is the statement of faith that came to mind: I believe in 1 God, the Father, the Almighty, Maker of Heaven & earth, & of all that is seen & unseen.

I believe in God because He is

Jehovah-Rophe - The Lord who heals: When I was a kid, I woke up one day with a fierce temperature. I was very sick. I believed that if you prayed in water and you drank it that all would be well. I believe either my mom or dad prayed in water for me, I drank it, went back to sleep and I woke up feeling much better. I remember that time with so much fondness. When I believed so much... when nothing could shake it because I knew that God was in control... ooo... to have the faith of a child once moreo.

Jehovah-Jireh - The Lord will provide: Oh Yes! He does this quite well. I've blogged previously on my experience in college and not having parental support to pay for it. One day I went to the finanacial aid office... and the head guy awarded me enough money to pay up my debt and even overflow into the next school year

Jehovah-Shalom -The Lord our peace: He grants the peace that surpasses all understanding. I remember years ago I had a bad manager. Goodness... I dont think you can escape having a bad manager. I didnt like her demeanor and her I felt she was an ineffective manager. One day at church... it's weird how it happened. I just felt this burden lifted... and I was just at peace with it all. Just like that it went away. She was soon removed as a manager in my department but it didnt make a difference because I was at peace with everything.

Jehovah-Gaden Milchamah - Mighty in Battle and Jehovah-Ganan - The Lord is our defence: Yes. Yes. Yes. God is the ultimate defender. I can tell you that this last half of the year, I have seen some highs and some lows and sometimes I just felt like I wanted to run away from it all but I realized that God's plan is to grow me. If he brought me to it... He will surely see me through it.

Jehovah-Shammah- The Lord is there... here!: My God is here to dwell wherever I am... to govern... to defend... to prosper... What comes to mind is "Relax... God is in control"... He is the Alpha and the Omega... He that began a good work in me... with me absolutely faithful to complete it as long as I remain faithful and steadfast in my walk with Him.

These are a few reasons I believe in God...

What about you? What is your testimony? Why do you believe in God?

These are a few others that believe in God

You can add the link to your "I Believe in God" post below for others to share and delight in

November 30, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 30

Happy Sunday!
30 Days already! O How time flies as we get older. I'm amazed that I was able to keep up. Today I had the opportunity to review my very first 30 Days of Thankfulness post because someone recently left a comment on it. Sometimes I wonder what is going through my mind when I'm writing stuff.. some things I dont even know how I managed to write but apparently I did...

I am thankful to God for allowing me to see the beginning and end of these 30 days. I am thankful that I am going into the 12th month and I am expectant of the fabulous things God is stilll going to do in my life this year... I am grateful for the favor He has bestowed on me. I am thankful for the people He has put in my life... whether to help me, to grow me... I am just thankful.

I thought I'd share with you my very first post again...
Have a Happy Sunday

Also if you're not able to make it to church today, consider worshiping with the NewBirth family live online. click HERE. (Service times: 7am/10:30am EST; 12pm/3:30pm UK; 1pm/4:30pm Nigeria). Kirk Franklin will be the guest preacher today

I am thankful to God for the good things he has already done. Everything in this world is started and finished by God. While Im in Monday, God has already taken care of Friday so I need not worry. God has finished everything. There is no need to be anxious. Someone is waiting for that healing. It is done. Someone is waiting for that miracle. It has come. God exceeds himself each time. Meaning he does more and more than before. He does not repeat himself. So I wake up each morning....looking forward to how God will surprise me. I wake up knowing that I am covered in His Blood. I plead for his mercy...for his favor.

On this day, I am thankful that God is God. He has never failed me not one time. I am thankful that inspite of being me...He is always willing to forgive me...I've had so many "second" chances and Im glad that when I turn my back and decide to run back to Him, His arms are open wide...willing to forgive and forget...willing to comfort and scold when necessary. He is just awesome

On this day, What are you thankful for?

Song dedication: Hezekiah Walker-Grateful

November 29, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 29

I almost missed today. I'm currently at work.. so I'll keep it short
My head is ON FIRE!!!
I got it done today... put in a relaxer... after almost two years...
It got straight... but I got burned in the process.... almost seems like a necessarily evil... The things we girls do for beauty.

I thank God I survived the experience. I thank God that I found someone to do it at a very reasonable price as well. It'll be hard for me to go back to paying almost $100.00 without getting the results I wanted.

What are you thankful for today?

November 28, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 28

I survived my first day of shopping today. And let me tell you the ridiculousness of it all. I mean at 7am the mall was packed but I got some great deals today... great deals... too great... and this is what I realized... you never really say how much you spend... you focus more on how you saved... well I do.. so for example... let's say I saved $300 on something... that's what I'm all about... never mind the fact that I spent $150 that wasnt necessarily a part of the budget... kai... I think I went to battle with the mall and mall won.. all in all.. I made some good purchases...

I thank God for the ability to shop and all that comes with it

Did you find any spectacular deal this Black friday?

What are you thankful for today?

November 27, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 27

Thanksgiving day!
I am sooooo full.. turkey,ham, potato salad, sweet potato souffle... red wine...
Sometimes I have these thoughts that go through my head... some I wish I'd never think...
I take a look at myself and there are so many things I can complain about. I wish this and I wish that... never being satisfied... feeling as if there's something more... I just want to thank God for myself... I want to thank God for the people he surrounds me with. I want to thank him that I went to Bootcamp and survived! I want to thank him for these legs of mine, that walk me where I want... these puppy dog eyes of mine that are able to see far and near... these hands of mine that help me type out each blog post and write so beautifully... my teeth... even though I want to get them unnecessarily whitened, that helped me chew on the turkey today... so many little things that we take for granted... I'm not perfect.. I'm always trying to reach for something that I think we make me feel better... look better... but I need to realize that I'm wonderfully made... flaws 'n all. I understand what it means to say "in everything give thanks"... because you dont realize how not so bad your situation is until you meet someone else in a worse predicament than yours... then you realize... oh... i think i'm good

Happy Thanksgiving.

What are you thankful for today? this season?

Song dedication: Train-Give a little bit & Beyonce-Flaws n all

November 26, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 26

What a day it has been
Because of the holiday it started off quietly at work... but let me tell you.. the work just kept coming and coming and coming... I ended up leaving work an hour and a half past the time I originally planned on leaving... I'm so sleepy. I did treat my team to some O'Charley Rolls... a pre-thanksgiving treat if you will. So... right now... with heavy eyes... I am thankful that I made it through the day...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving... :-)
What are you thankful for today?

November 25, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 25

It's tuesday
Do you know what that means? thanksgiving is in TWO days...
oh gosh.. i'm looking forward to sweet potato souffle and my uncle's potato salad
so im thankful for Thanksgivingggggggggggg...
i'm so excited... more excited about having time off and hoping to get some sweet deals on black friday!

What are you thankful for today?

November 24, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 24

Happy Monday!
December is almost here... can you believe it? So much has happened this year.

Today, I am thankful for my father. I know he's not perfect but I am still grateful for his presence in my life. Just recently he paid one of my bills... verrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy helpful. Somehow I believe he has the best of intentions... but somehow... I dont know.. I'm still thankful. I pray for God to keep him for me... so he can walk me down the aisle... so he can see my children... I pray for God to bless him despite anything and to just be with him in general. I love my daddy... I really do... no matter what... I used to be daddy's girl growing up and now I've become this fiercely independent person and I thank God for that as well...

What are you thankful for this monday?

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great
and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Song dedication: Lara George-Ijoba Orun

November 23, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 23

Happy Sunday Everyone.
I woke up very early this morning and was watching True Life, a show on MTV. This particular episode dealt with two people searching for their mom. One of them, a female, was graduating college. She found her mom who's sort of a druggie and was hoping her mom would attend her graduation but her mom didnt. The other person, a guy, hadnt seen his mom in all of his 17 years... found her, called her... she called him back the same day and that was it. She's been avoiding his calls ever since. Watching that... you just realize that there is still sooooooooooo much to be thankful for. I would say that my teenage years were a bit troublesome and probably less than ideal but I'm still here and didnt have to deal with not knowing where my parents were. so I am just Thankful for life in general. There are so many things that I've been protected from... Thank you God for being my protector and shield

what are you thankful for today

If you're not able to make it to church today, consider worshiping live with my church, Newbirth. click HERE (7am and 1030am EST; 12pm/3:30pm UK; 1pm/4:30pm Nig)

November 22, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 22

Today, someone was buried.
Diagnosed and died in less than 2 days.

I am thankful for life and for good health. I wont take it for granted and I will strive to keep this temple of God healthy... after years and years of abuse...

What are you thankful for today?

Song dedication: Beyonce-Ave Maria

November 21, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 21

I woke up early this morning and I heard the howl of the wind...
men.... not only is it cold but it's windddddyyyyyyyyyy
and I got reminded of this song

what manner of man is this... the wind and the sea obey Him
what manner of man is this... He opens blind eyes... He makes the lame walk
it's Jesus the healer... Jesus the healer... it's Jesus redeemer, lover of men

now I'm not sure if those lyrics are exactly right... the last line especially but today Im reminded of praise and worship songs from Nigeria. One day, coming home from church, I had a praise session with my boyfriend... just singing songs from home that were almost forgotten... what a joyous atmosphere it was....

Today I am thankful for the praise and worship songs that I learned while I lived in Nigeria. I am thankful for my exposure to the Maranatha singers and the Kids Praise... I remember one with Ebenezer Obey titled "Jesus is coming" but I cant find it anywhere.... I successfully bid on ebay for the Maranatha Praise Band 1-3 CDs.... also downloaded the Maranatha Acapella album from itunes... I love all those songs... and surprisingly I remembered most of the lyrics.... I am thankful for all those yoruba songs that I cant quite get right with the lyrics... all those songs that once you hear them make you want to just jump up and dance or ki? ko? mo le...

What are you thankful for today?

November 20, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 20

There are so many things that we could complain about... I was always try not to complain but I have to admit it is hard so I'm glad I'm doing this Thankfulness series... because somehow I've found less things to complain about and am seeking unique things each day to be thankful for..

My boss and I certainly have our differences. I believe she has some personal bias against me which is affecting her ability to objectively manage. However today I will say... almost reluctantly... I dont even really want to type it... but I am thankful for my boss.

She's helping to build my character. She's not my final destination. So I have to believe that God is preparing me for something.. something BIG... I dont know what it is.. and based on my experience with her... when that something Big finally gets here... it'll be dust off my shoulder... so I'm just going to brush it off and keep it moving.. and somehow that has me almost excited. Because I just know that I have a bright future... I am destined for Greatness... there is no doubt about it...

What are you thankful for today?

Song dedication-Christina Aguilera-This Christmas

November 19, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 19

Today I left the house about 6:20am this morning. I looked around and I remembered when I used to live in an apartment. I'd be rushing to work but I'd have to wait for my windows/windshield to defrost before I could start driving. Back then I used to cut it close with time. So today looking around... I realized that what I've really wanted God has given me... and He has always exceeded my expectations... so today amongst other things I am thankful for my garage. I get in the car and it's ready to go... no waiting to defrost or anything. I am blessed... truly I am and my prayer is that as God blesses me, I will be a blessing unto others. Givers never lack... and I have to believe that to be true. There are so many little things that occur day to day that we take for granted. I challenge you to stop for a moment and think about your morning routine... and then answer this question...

What are you thankful for today?

November 18, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 18

Today I am thankful for Beyonce
I just love her... Her new album is out
I feel like she's such a beautiful person in and out
and she inspires me to want to get fitter... seeing all those dance moves... totally impressive... She's only 27 and has been blessed with so much... even though she's in the World... I have to wonder if she can do that... what cant my God do through me... through her. I only have to take it one day at a time right... and He will see me through...

Is there an artist out there that you're thankful for? Anyone that inspires you?

What are you thankful for today?

Song dedication: Beyonce-if I were a boy

November 17, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 17

I am so determined not to miss a day of this
Right now I am very tired and my feet hurt from walking all day. I'm glad that I didnt have on boots today because I think my feet would have exploded from all that walking I did today.
Right now I'm sleepy. today was a good day... no drama at work... Today I really wouldve loved to be thankful for winning the lottery on friday... but nope... I didnt... so instead I will Thank God for providing a shelter for me to lay my head... especially with the cold weather. It is cold and windy here... and it's always nice to come into a nice warm place... thank God for that!!!

What are you thankful for today?

November 16, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 16

It's so cold here today...
I went out last night to this bar with some coworkers... and I came back smelling like the place... I so dislike that.... the smell of smoke was still in my jacket today.... sooooooo annoying... I tried to spray some of my dad's cologne on it... but it still has last night's smell on it... anyways I know better for the future... I promptly took it off when I got into church today... dont want people hugging me thinking I'm a smoker or something...

all-in-all I'm glad about last night... I am thankful for last night. I only had one drink. A Kryptonite rita... see how huge it is? it's really good.... the others were trying to convince me to do shots... i politely and firmly declined time and time again... It was nice to hang out... I think that for the few of us that were there, we will have a better working relationship. We basically just talked about things that we didnt like and blah blah blah... it was a chance to clear the air in a relaxed... a verrrrrrrryyyyyyyy relaxed environment... so I'm glad I went... I think I may have said some things that maybe I shouldnt... and I was reminded that no matter where I am... no matter what is going on... I have to represent for God...

What are you thankful for today?

Ephesians 6:10-13
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you
can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against
the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that
when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done
everything, to stand.

Song dedication: Men of Standard-In your will

November 15, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 15

Saturdays are my lazy days... I do nothing but watch cartoons all day... sometimes in the evening I may go out grocery shopping...

Today I am thankful for my boyfriend... Bob. He has been such a great addition to my life and so helpful in so many ways... I am thankful that he's in my life. He's such a good boyfriend... such a responsible member of society... I just Thank God for him.

Recently... my paycheck did not quite equal the bills I had to pay and I had received money to send home... but I didnt want to send it yet because it was kind of keeping my account balanced... so Bob jumped in and allowed me to keep the money and he funded the money I was to send himself... I told him I'd pay him back and he just laughed it off and said if I never paid him back it wouldnt matter... and I was just grateful... He's done so much more for me... I'm just amazed at how selfless he is... I have alot to learn from him... I just pray for God to continue to keep him... bless him, bless us.. favor him, favor us... and all that good stuff...

What are you thankful for today?

November 14, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 14


Today was a fabulous day!...
I got my hair braided. I spoke with my mom and she got the suitcase I sent home. Work went smoothly... it wasnt that busy today... All in all... I am thankful for how the day went. More specifically I am thankful for the person that did my hair... we work together and she did it at a discounted rate... I got it cornrowed but people can get crazy with their prices here...

I think we should try to find joy in the little things.. adopt an attitude of gratitude... that's what Delilah says anyways on her radio talk show. Anyone else listen to her?

What are you doing for the weekend... I have an outing tomorrow and a baby shower on Sunday... gosh... I'm hoping to win the lottery tonight to finance my weekend plans!

What are you thankful for today?

November 13, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 13

Joy comes in the morning...

I feel good about today... I woke up and was determined that today would be a better day and it was... I had a meeting with my manager. She wanted us to talk about how we could communicate better. She wrote a few things down and asked me to come up with a few things on monday so that we can improve our working relationship but God help me... I dont know what will improve it except she changes the rating she gave me... I'm having a hard time getting past that rating...

Anyhoo... whatever... I am grateful for family... Right now in Nigeria my family is preparing to bury my grandfather... He was such a wonderful man... He would see me and immediately reference his sister... who I look exactly like... I even tilt my head and smile like her... technically he's my granduncle but you know how that goes... he's "grandpa" to all the children... He started going down hill as soon as his wife died... like the very next day... it hurt my mom to see that because she was very close to him... I know that tomorrow will be hard on her but I'm glad that she's able to celebrate his life in her own manner... I'm grateful to all the family members that have travelled near and far to celebrate his life.... You know Family can be crazy... but sometimes they can be the best....

Today is a new day... it was a brighter day... and i'm determined to keep on moving...
Thanks for the words of encouragement on the previous post...

What are you thankful for today?

November 12, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 12

I've typed and retyped what I wanted to write today...

Today was a hard day for me... I went through my quaterly review at work
I basically went through some character assassination
My direct Manager stretched some truths and fabricated some things
which is why I had commented on Jaycee's blog some time ago.. that God is my ultimate Defense when it seems that I have none. I'm trying not to stress out... Trying not to cry out... After being promoted 3 times within a year's period... what this woman is saying is that I should be demoted. I'm not sure if I should even laugh... It would be understandable if what she was saying was true... if her critique of me was correct... but it is not. I pride myself on being hardworking... or being truthful but somehow all my accomplishments are being summed up as "does not meet expectations"... I. CANNOT. FIGHT. THIS. BATTLE. I dont have any more words to add... except that for every tear that I've shared... for every moment of stress... this woman... this instrument of the devil will surely pay... Now she's trying to poison... or already has... the minds of the other senior managers... I've asked those people... you know me... you know the work I'm capable of... my character over the past couple of years has been proven time and time again... The position I hold in management is not one that is just given to anyone... How does one go from exceeding all expectations to not within the span of 2 - 3 months... How is that... She has been working on this assassination campaign for a minute now... but Everything that has been planned for my demise... will turn around for my good in Jesus' Name...

so today... I tried to hold on to God... tried to remember the promises in Joshua 10:8... in Isaiah 54:17

I am just thankful for my job... I dont know what the future holds in it... but I have to trust and believe that God has a greater purpose for me... like disgodkid... I will be counting down. I've cried until I didnt think I had it in me to cry anymore and still the tears fall. I hate injustice... I hate it even more when it's happening to me... so i'm holding on right now... I'm not where I used to be... God has brought me from a mighty long way... and has elevated me to where I am... and in Jesus' Name.. I will continue on... Tomorrow is another day!!! And for some reason... that thought is putting a smile on my face...

What are you thankful for today?

November 11, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 11

I've been listening to Yolanda Adam's The Battle is not yours all day long. I have to get my mind... my whole being, right. I think maybe with the way I've been stressing I've been telling God how big the problem is... instead of telling the problem how big my God is. and How do I do that? I cant exactly start throwing bible verses at her... at them... but I can continue to stand firm in the knowledge that God has a great plan for my life. I can continue to have faith and believe that everything will work out for my good according to God's Will... I was reminded as to the different obstacles that I've overcome through the course of my life... and at the time I thought those obstacles were the worst things to happen but somehow...actually through God, I overcame them... If God truly is the same God of the past... the same God of the present and the same God of the future... If He brought me through past storms, will He not see me through this one? Everything happens for a reason and I am choosing to believe that I am being made stronger... but it is hard but I will continue... I will do my best to remember who my God is... not what/who the problem is... This will become a memory... just like the song says... This battle is not mine...

Today I am thankful for the ability to overcome... my prayer is that God will help me endure this season. It's all gravy when things are going great.. but when things arent... God help me to endure and to come through this.

What are you thankful for today?

btw... gas prices are less than $2.00/gallon... can you believe it? It hasnt been that low for the past 5 years... na wa... Im not complaining about it.. just wish it didnt come at the expense of an economic downturn... but everything happens for a reason... so we're realigning ourselves I guess...

2 Chronicles 20: 15, 17, 21
Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you
Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever

November 10, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 10

it's 11:30pm... almost missed today

Let's just say I'm thankful for yet another day. Thankful that God let me see this day
Im struggling... struggling to stay positive...
in the face of economic uncertainty... I'm just praying for God to keep me...
I'm praying for mercy.... I'm praying for favor
I'm praying for God to shame my enemies and I'm praying for him to make me a better person through it all....

I feel so angry at the things going on around me... the injustice that I'm experiencing but in everything give thanks...
so I'm thankful that I made it through today... I dont know what else to do.. what prayers to pray... I'm just angry... and I'm struggling to keep positive.. I'm struggling to not go out of my mind...

What are you thankful for today?

November 9, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 9

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sure sometimes it may seem trivial to be thankful for things that seem mundane... but what if these things werent around...

I am thankful that my uncle agreed to take a suitcase for me to Nigeria
In the past when I've travelled to Nigeria, people always send stuff through me... Infact, my stuff can fill 1 suitcase and everyone else's stuff is in the 2nd suitcase... and I now realize how it is... I mean imagine me sending a whole suitcase home. I didnt want to do ase ju (doing more than would seem appropriate) because I should have asked my other uncle if he also could take a suitcase home for me as well... lol. I figured why waste the two suitcase limit that is allowed by the airlines right? Infact this should turn into some kind of business to make some extra dough... hmmmm... Anyyyyyyyyyways...

Happy Sunday. If you're not able to make it to church, consider worshiping with the NewBirth Family LIVE @ 7am and 10:30am EST (12p/3:30p London < > 1p/4:30pNigeria). click HERE.

What are you thankful for today?

Song dedication:Chris Tomlin-Holy is the Lord

November 8, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 8

It's saturday!!! :-)
Today I left my house and driving down a quiet road... I smiled
I was reflecting on how God had blessed me with a house... how I owned my own car...
The freedom that I have to come and go as I please... there is much to be thankful for
I just love the Fall season... it's so pretty
All the hues of red, brown, orange, yellow... I imagined walking on a carpet of fallen leaves... surrounded by tall trees with so many colors... actually I imagined me getting married in such an environment... hmmm... Maybe God will surprise me and make it happen...

So today.. I am thankful for the Fall season.... Autumn for all you brits out there...
just step outside and take a look...
it's very pretty

do you have a favorite season?
What are you thankful for today?

Song dedication: Monica-For you I will

November 7, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 7

Happy Friday

Today I am thankful for my brother
I spoke with him yesterday. and sometimes last week... and I think the week before..
We spoke without fighting... and after our conversation he ended with "love you"
that made me smile... and that's why I am thankful
He is such an inspiration... I would share a youtube video of him being interviewed but that would be tooooooooooo much... But this is someone who was overweight and was challenged to lose the weight to become involved in a particular sport... which he did to everyone's surprise and now this boy is cut! C-U-T. I'm hoping to get there eventually
My brother and I may be far apart as far as the miles go... but the Love that was poured out to us through God... through my mom... and my dad... that will never go away no matter what... in Jesus' Name... Amen!

What are you thankful for today?

November 6, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 6

Sometimes you try to be thankful and it's sooooooooooo hard. How are you thankful when you're going through stuff. I alternate within the same breath being mad at God and asking Him to be with me. Is this normal? It's all nice when everything is going well but when everything is not? Am I fickle with my faith? Something has got to change... since God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow... Inductively, I'm reasoning that it's me.

I'm just Thankful today...
I'm thankful for the day... Life has had its ups and downs and I have to believe that this shall soon pass... I just have to hold on... so I guess I'm thankful for the ability to hold on

What are you thankful for today?

Isaiah 54:17
No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD.

Song dedication: Boyz II Men - Just hold on

November 5, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 5

Election day has come and gone and I sit here thinking through the past...

Here are some facts

1865 - the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution made slavey illegal in the united states

1868 - The Great Amendment was passed (14th) which proclaimed and upheld the citizenship of everyone born in the US... including the 'freed' slaves.

1879 - The 15th amendment passed, guaranteeing the right of Blacks to vote

The Republican party was originally set up as an "anti-slavery" party because back then, Democrats were pro-slavery... and did everything in their power to stop blacks from voting introducing things like the poll tax and reading tests. (I wonder if some of that same mentality isnt still going on)

1920 - Women gain the right to vote, guaranteed by the 19th Amendment

2000- Al Gore was erroneously declared the Projected winner by CNN... it all came down to Florida which held 25 electoral votes... The difference for the winner, our current President, was just 5 electoral votes...

We've come a long way... a very long way... no battle was easy... many lives were lost. How easy would it have been for some people to say "This can never happen... why bother... why let blacks vote... why let women vote"...

Today, I am thankful for the right to vote and I am thankful that the right to vote has resulted in Barack Obama becoming the 44th President of the United States of America. More than ever I know this man needs our prayers... we all really need to pray for our leaders.
God bless Obama. God bless each and everyone one of you that voted. God Bless America

I typed the above post yesterday morning... and I was not ready to change it o... lol
It occured to me that if Al Gore had won as everyone wanted, Obama may not have become president at this time... I believe that God orders our steps and I'm grateful for such a time as this. There is no excuse anymore... This is a man that grew up with seemingly the odds against him and now he is our 44th President... what's your excuse?

I was soooo excited... I woke everybody up in Nigeria and England to tell them the News...
You know it wasnt all about him being black... it was about being an American who also happened to be African American looking to turn things around ... I believe that difference is what helped him... If it was all about being black... what about Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Standing in line for almost 3hours was absolutely worth it.

click HERE to read a transcript of his acceptance speech yesterday or was it early this morning... lol

Below is the video of Barack Obama's acceptance speech and the 2nd is of John McCain


Psalm 118:22
The stone which the builders put on one side has become the chief stone of the building.

Mark 12:10-11
Haven't you read this scripture: 'the stone the builders rejected has become the capstone';
The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes

November 4, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 4

I've been up alllllllllll night... since yesterday morning when I woke up and didnt go to bed until around 4 this morning or so... You should see my house....

so Today, I am Thankful that I found my passport.
Hallelujah... glory to God

I wanted to get it renewed... I called the consulate, they said 4 weeks... even longer if something goes wrong. In my mind I'm thinking... What could go wrong... Little did I know that while I was talking to the consulate, my passport was somewhere else... I mean I thought I knew where it was but apparently not... Anyways to prevent "something goes wrong", I'm holding on my to my passport until it expires.

Now I dont feel so well... I feel like I've been shouting the whole day... You need to see the effort I put into finding this... all the while I had this fear that I had thrown it out but I kept searching... because I just knew I had it... there's no where I didnt turn out... I even went to my car, checked the glove compartment, the trunk... under the seats... why? because when I'm looking for something I look everywhere... even places that I'm sure that it cant be...

The long and short of the story is I found it... in a box in my spare bedroom... and I just Thank God... because all the while... looking for it... I was praying for God to please let me find it... I dont even know how many times I went up and down the stairs... I think the whole issue is that Im not as organized as I'd like to be... so maybe by day 30 I'll be thanking God for that... I dont know..

What are you thankful for today?

Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest.

Song dedication: John Mayer-Waiting on the World to change
Video dedication: We Can

November 3, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 3

it's monday!
The start of the new work week... today is monday... that means tomorrow is TUESDAY
and what an exciting time it is... Tomorrow History will be made one way or another... Im almost nervous

what am I thankful for today?
I am thankful for the ability to go to work... I am thankful to God for strategically placing me where I am today... Sometimes I just have to take a step back from all my complaining and just say Thank you God... that something exists that I can even complain about... and I'm sorry for all my complaining... because God's plans for me are to prosper me... to give me a future

Yesterday I went grocery shopping... and I bumped into my cousin who lives like 10/15minutes from me... but I havent seen him or his family for over a year... isnt that ridiculous... anyways I bump into him and his kids and he asks how I'm doing and all that and then we start talking about relationships... he asks... "what is going on with our women?"... "I dont like what I see"... okkkkkkkkkkk... I dont know what's going on... but our conversation led me to this question... if you had one choice... would you rather be married? or be successful?

What are you thankful for today?

1 Chronicles 4:10
"And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that Thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that Thine hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested."

song dedication: NeYo-Miss Independent

November 2, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 2

Happy Sunday to everyone...
Today, in the States, DST ended... I used that extra hour to do laundry and as such woke up later than I would normally do on sunday and was about 40minutes late to church. I dont like being late for church. I thought about just staying home and watching it online but then I felt it important to go...

Today I am thankful for my mother.

There isnt a day that goes by... or a year when I do this that my mom doesnt come into play. She is an awesome woman of God and I am grateful that God saw it fit to allow me to be birth through her. She is such a hardworking person with a kind heart. My prayer is for God to continue to be with her and see her through each day... to abundantly bless her and keep her and bestow endless mercy and uncommon favor upon her... that she will continue to be blessed to be a blessing and will never lack for anything that she desires according to God's Will... Amen

What are you thankful for today?

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 31:27-28
She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up and call her blessed...

song dedication: Boyz II Men-Song for Mama and Thank You

November 1, 2008

30 Days of Thankfulness 3 - Day 1

Another day... Another year... actually... 3 years!
I wasnt going to do it this year... but I was convicted one day at church...
There is much to be Thankful for... I started this a couple of years ago... when I was in the process of purchasing a house... it was a scary period... but I made it through... because of God...
(The links to the previous years are above)

So this month, I invite you to join me in being Thankful if you wish to...

I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo this year as well... meaning each day I'd
write a post for the entire month of november... 30 posts in 30 days...
Nothing Fancy... just a few short lines... it might be a bit challenging... but I'm committed to it... just like I'm committed to not eating chocolate for the month... after 5 am...

Today I am thankful for the gift of life.

I dont think there's anything that makes you more appreciative of life than when you run the risk of losing it or lose someone that you'd never have thought had an appointment with death so soon... I know two people that were pregnant this year. 1 lost her baby about a month ago and the other had a boy a week after my birthday. I thank God for both of them. I remember going to the doctor and having a biopsy done last month... and just Thanking God that the promise of Deuteronomy 7:15 is mine

Happy November...

*As we enter into this season of thankfulness, take time to count your blessings, express your love to your family and friends, and perform an unexpected act of kindness!

And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given
Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God...
Ephesians 5:2 NKJV*

*taken from NewBirth's Single's ministry november newsletter*

October 26, 2008

Cant make it to church today?

click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
7:00am EST and 10:30am EST
(london/nigeria time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

NewBirth Missionary Baptist Church
Lithonia, GA

October 10, 2008

This day in history....

...Endless Love, one of the greatest songs of all time... was the #1 song on the charts the same time... I was born... What a monumental song... and a monumental occasion! :-) This is the most perfect day to be born. #10 in the bible represents Perfection in Divine Order... I've got a double dose of it too! and well as my mom said... 5 is the number of grace... so I guess I've got a quadruple dose of that as well... lol

For some reason when people ask me how old I am, I pause to think about it. Not like before when I was like a dam waiting to burst... ask my age and back then with much fervor I'd say... FOUR FIVE SIX..... now you ask... I mentally do the math before I answer... lol

or maybe as one of my friends tells me... I need to eat more fish...

I just want to thank God for bringing me through another year. It's time for reflection.... not like everyday isnt but it's different this time. It's more intentional. I have the day off and Monday is a holiday. I thought about making a playlist of all the #1 songs that occured on/around my birthday for the past couple of years... but I scratched that idea... well not really... if you're interested... check it out here... songs like Oh Sheila by Ready for the World in 85 to the Macarena remix by the Bayside Boys in 96 to Crank Dat by Soulja Boy in 2007... it's amazing how music has evolved... i think there was a shift in music in 1991 w/Mariah Carey... or maybe it was with Boyz II Men the following year w/End of the Road... Anyways there are 27 songs in the playlist... check it out if you're so inclined :-)

Because today is my birthday... and it's a friday... you can have the day off.... tell your boss I said so! Here's my actual cake... Chocolate Ganache Supreme... it's tres yummy!!!! it's from publix... I love publix... Where Shopping is a Pleasure :-)
Happy Birthday to LondonBuki's younger brother and Azuka's elder brother... such wonderful people... I havent met them but if they share this day with me... how could they not be... October people rock!!!

Allied woke me up with a birthday text this morning (her birthday is on the 16th btw)... and a couple of minutes later, NaijaDude called me.... he's so cute... and sounds good on the phone... :-)... you guys are too much... I feel blessed that you thought enough of me to do that... you get a slice of cake.... for the rest of you.... I really want to give you a slice of cake but I've declared today a day of fasting... . Arent I the best... you get the day off and you get to fast... how much better could this day get... That's what I told my mom when she asked me what we were eating today... :-)

Have a great weekend people
and Thank the Lord with me for this glorious day....
This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it

much Love
Ms. D

October 5, 2008

Cant make it to church today?

click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
7:00am EST and 10:30am EST
(london/nigeria time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

NewBirth Missionary Baptist Church
Lithonia, GA


October 1, 2008

Music Im Feeling: Dashboard Confessions - Stolen

Yes... I've come again with yet another love song...
Happy October

So after work yesterday I popped in the movie "Made of Honor"... and to be honest I wasnt feeling it... I was even thinking... Glad I didnt go the movies to see it... Well let's just say I was verrrrryyyyyyyyyy tired last night...

So this morning I watched it completely alert... and I really like it... it really makes your mind wander about possibilities... I love movies like that... the ones that leave you with that fuzzy feeling when it's over and makes you want to watch it again for the pleasure of it... or incase you missed other "fuzzy" moments... anyways... I was listening to a song on there by Oasis (Stop Crying your heart out ... check that out) and then in the closing credits I saw this song... I think it's beautiful :-)

You have stolen my heart!

Happy Independence day to my fellow Nigerians!

[snagged the image from]

September 28, 2008

Cant make it to church today?

click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
7:00am EST and 10:30am EST
(london/nigeria time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

NewBirth Missionary Baptist Church
Lithonia, GA


September 19, 2008

Being single...

so I'm watching TV and they're talking about being single in America.

Can you be happily single?

No matter where you're from there is a certain stigma with being single. You can have a fabulous career, great friends, be well travelled... own several luxury items but if you dont have a man (and this is ofcourse geared towards the ladies), it's like nothing else matters... why is that?

In the show, the featured guest is on there with her mom. Her mom states the universe works in pairs... you have two hands... feet... we're all supposed to be paired. It's been said that any single person who says they're happy single and dont want someone... is lying!

is this true?

I've never quite felt the pressure of being single... When I was younger I wanted a boyfriend and all that I thought it entailed but never to the point where I felt something was missing in my life. I just wanted to experience certain things that I felt I needed someone else to experience it with. So I dated several people... but I've come to realize... to be happily married... you have to be happily single... you have to be fulfilled

maybe you cant be happily single forever... maybe that's the point people are trying to get across...

I dont know jo...

September 12, 2008

You have to watch this commercial...

I dont know if this is for real or what?
But I turn on the TV and there's some new judge show on... which by the way all these judge shows are getting ridiculous... Her robe looks like it belongs to a choir.... anyways....
So during the commercial break... this commercial is what comes up....
I kept waiting for like a candid camera type moment... but I think it's for real
goodness gracious... just watch it!

September 7, 2008

He said... She said... 2b

Sorry for the delay in posting! Soon is TODAY :-)
This post is part of the He said She said series.

Do you know Kola?
To read the first part of this story, click HERE
to read other stories in the series, click HERE

Welcome back into

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Kahlil Gibran

He said...

Saturday, 3 A.M.

My eyes flew open.
Was it real this time?
I looked quickly to my side. No, Nike was not the one lying beside me.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
Omo, this was really getting sad. I had to either stop these dreams or do something about their main subject.

I placed my hands behind my head and stared blankly at the patterns on my bedroom ceiling. I was awake once again and couldn’t go back to sleep.
How had my life turned out like this?
Karma, answered that little voice in my head.
I hated that voice and it had really grown more annoying over the past year.
Karma must truly be a bitch. I muttered under my breath as I turned to look at the woman next to me.

A year ago, I was happy and planning to propose to the love of my life. Now, I’m lying next to a woman I don't love and planning a wedding I've already cancelled once. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare and find myself exactly where I was before Busola barged in through my door and Nike walked out my life.

I sighed as I thought about Nike.
Young, sweet, caring and all I had hoped for in a wife. Yet, I had messed it up big time and it was now probably too late to do anything. How had it all gone so wrong? One minute I was planning a surprise for Nike and the next she stepped out of my life and never looked back.

I slipped out of bed to get something to drink and the lady beside me wakes up.
“Baby, where are you going now? You know I don’t like when you move around in the bed.”
“Sorry, Busola. Just go back to sleep.”
Dammit. Even in her sleep she was nagging me. I picked up my cell phone and walked out of the bedroom.

I got to the kitchen and sat at the counter with a drink in one hand and my phone in the other. This decision has been plaguing me for weeks now and I knew I had to make up my mind before it was too late to change anything. As I stared at the phone in my hand, my mind inevitably started to replay the events of that fateful day a year ago.

I had tried calling Nike’s cell phone several times that afternoon but it was turned off so I called her dorm room. Her roommate - Megan, had answered the phone and unable to hold the secret had informed me that Nike was on her way to pay me a surprise visit. I remembered smiling when I heard the information; Megan could not be trusted with a secret.
Armed with this information, I planned a counter-surprise of a romantic evening at my apartment. I left work early, cleaned up my messy apartment, lit some candles and started playing our favorite CD. I was going to take a shower and wait for my angel. I couldn’t wait to see the surprised look on her face when she got to my apartment. Then, just an hour or so before Nike was supposed to arrive at my place I heard a knock on my door and everything went downhill.

I placed my head in my hand as I thought of that moment. If I could turn back time, I would never have answered the door.

When I opened the door, Busola was on the other side crying and looking distraught. She pushed past me into the apartment and threw herself on my couch. She cried uncontrollably for some time and after consoling her she revealed she was upset because she just found out her fiancé was cheating on her. Their wedding was just five months away and she had just seen him with another lady at his apartment.

I smiled wryly at that thought. We had done the exact same thing to Nike.

It wasn’t unusual that Busola had come to me for comfort. We were very good friends and had helped each other through difficult situations in the past. Truth be told, we had indulged in a steamy summer affair in our college days before Nike started at the school. At the end of that summer, we had both agreed it wasn’t working out and had stopped the sexual relationship but still remained good friends. For some reason, neither of us mentioned our previous relationship to Nike and things had worked out fine until we gave in to our old lusts.

My thoughts turned back to that evening with Busola. I still didn’t know how it happened but one moment she was cursing her fiancé and the next she was tugging at my clothes begging me to take her. Of course I had resisted but she kept pleading with me to help her get even with her fiancé. When I continued to refuse, she got angry and reminded me of how she had been there for me during a previous break up while we were in college. She went back and forth between pleading and getting angry until I had finally started to weaken. Immediately Busola saw my resolve had weakened, she was all over me. I struggled to get us to the bedroom and barely just made it there before we collapsed to the floor.

I sighed to myself again. How the hell had I agreed with the rationale of a hurt woman?
Lust. That little voice said again.
I knew the little voice was right because old memories of Busola and I had played in my mind the whole time she had been begging me. I had let the idea of temporary relief from frustration override my loyalty to Nike.
I clearly made the wrong choice and am now paying for it dearly. From the look of things, I might be paying for the rest of my life.

I rubbed my eyes and took a sip from my cup.
I would never forget the hurt in Nike’s voice and the look in her eyes as she stood over our bodies. I still hated myself for what I had done to her but there was nothing I could do to change the past. I had tried reaching her for several months after the incident but had stopped when Busola came back with news that she was pregnant.

Pregnant, ke? After just one lousy time? It didn’t even count for one whole time sef. The big man upstairs was not giving me any rope to maneuver at all.

I had been confused after hearing the news and had decided I couldn’t continue to pursue Nike until I had sorted out the issue with Busola. We discussed several options but at the end could not go through with them. So, we decided to get married.
Three months later, after the invitations had been sent and wedding preparations fully underway, she confessed that she wasn’t really pregnant.

What? Not pregnant? How could she have done that to me? To Nike?

I immediately cancelled the wedding and prepared to tell our parents. But, no, Busola was not going to let that happen. She pleaded with me, cried and threatened to do harm to herself and once again, I foolishly gave in to her.

Now, the wedding was coming up in less than two months and I knew in my heart that she was the wrong woman for me. I could probably never have Nike again, but that did not mean I had to settle for Busola.

I rubbed my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time and glanced at the phone on the table. It was looking back at me, daring me to make the call.

I get up from the kitchen counter, pick up the phone and pace around the kitchen. What should I do? Should I call Nike? What if she rejects me once again?

3:30 A.M.

After staring endlessly at the phone in my hand, I decided it was now or never. I had nothing to lose and all to gain. Rejection or not, I was going to give this one final try and maybe she would at least stop hating me.

I dial Nike’s number and subconsciously hold my breath.

Please God, let her pick up her phone.

Cant make it to church today?

click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
7:00am EST and 10:30am EST
(london time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

NewBirth Missionary Baptist Church
Lithonia, GA

Preacher today: Bishop Eddie L Long
Topic: Relationships

August 29, 2008

He said... She said... 2a


I have the distinct pleasure of featuring a blog within a blog. About 2 years ago... a friend of a friend read my blog and asked her friend if she had a friend who blogged because something I had blogged about seemed familiar. (u with me so far?) She gave her friend my blog address... and what do you know... the friend knew me... really well... and today she shares a story to be part of the He said She said series. The series is all about the same story but from two different perspectives. check out the HesaidShesaid link above (right under my header) to view other stories in the series...

Enter into

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

She said...

Saturday, 2:30am


I froze. It must be a dream. There was no way that voice could be calling my name.

“Nike! Please wait up for me” the voice said again. “I need to tell you something.”

Yes! Finally! He’s found me and he’s coming to beg me to take him back. I smiled to myself and turned slowly to face the person calling me and as I did everything seemed to disappear.

I woke up with a start. It was a dream

Egbami. Not another dream about that idiot. When am I going to get over it? It’s been almost a year and I’m still dreaming that he’s looking for me. I've got it in my head but my heart seems to have a mind of its own. Every time I go to bed, it's one dream after the other about this guy, and frankly it's beginning to get annoying.

I sighed.

I wish I could program my dreams. That way, I could insert Brad Pitt every night and wake up without regrets. If these dreams don’t stop soon, I might have to go meet my pastor for serious deliverance. That is why I like going to Nigerian churches. Fire for fire, mehn.

I fluffed my pillow and tried to get back to sleep but as usual, I just kept thinking about the subject of my dreams.

Kola and I met in my freshman year at college. I was introduced to him during one of those African Students meetings by my cousin who attended the same school. He was a senior at the time and was about to graduate. I had been so happy then because just another year and maybe we would never have met since he moved away after graduation. We hit it off immediately and our love was serious watintin love. Chai, young love was sweet. It was always me and Kola everywhere. We fell asleep talking to each other, woke up and spoke to each other first thing in the morning, spent every moment we could together and frankly annoyed everyone around us that wasn’t in a relationship. At that time, I really believed the only reason God let my father agree to send me to America was for me to meet my dear Kola.

I hissed as I remembered that first year we were together. I really was a fool to fall that deeply in love with him.

He soon graduated and moved to a city four hours away but thank God for the affordability of Greyhound and Southwest airlines, my $6.50/hr cafeteria job allowed me to see him often. I spent almost all the money I made visiting him at least once every month and he returned the favor by visiting me every month also, so we saw each other at least every two weeks.

Thank God I knew book, sha because that was the only way I was still able to pull through with decent grades in school. If not, my father would have quickly sent me back to that Igbenedion University or whatever they call it in Nigeria. The long distance relationship continued for two years and it was at the end of my junior year that all the katakata burst.

Thinking about it still makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I wiped a tear off my face and held on tightly to my pillow.

You see, right from the beginning, I had told Kola that I was not having sex outside of marriage. He had agreed with me and things had been ok. We got close a few times but thank papa-God, my senses came back quickly and I was able to resist temptation. I had to give it to Kola though, he never really pressured me. In fact, aspa Christian brother, he encouraged me to hold on too and said he was happy he was going to be my first on our wedding day.

If you had asked me to list my motivations for graduating quickly, getting married and getting to sleep with Kola would have been right on top of the list. I studied hard and could not wait to graduate and have my father agree to the wedding. Then, just one year before achieving that goal, Kola ripped out my heart, trampled on it, threw it on the interstate and had ten trailer trucks run over it.

What had I done to deserve that kind of treatment? Is it a sin to love? I rolled around in my bed and reached for the Kleenex box on my nightstand.

I hadn’t seen Kola in almost a month due to my hectic schedule for finals and he had agreed not to come so as not to distract me. However, at the last minute one of my professors agreed for me to take one final early, which meant I could finish on a Friday instead of a Saturday. I was so excited that day as I wrote the exam; I put a small smiley face and a heart next to my name on the paper. Let me dash the professor some love too. Immediately I finished the exam, I packed a weekend bag and headed for the Greyhound station. It was time to get me some ‘Kola-vite’. I didn’t tell Kola I was coming; I was going to surprise him because he was my man and I could surprise him, right? Dead wrong!

Thinking back now, I still falter between thanking God that I paid him a surprise visit or wishing secretly that I hadn’t.

I got to his apartment and unlocked the door with the extra key I had with me. Immediately the door opened, I knew something was wrong. There was soft music playing in the background, candles were burning and some funny noises were coming from the bedroom. The bedroom was directly across from the front door and I could see the door was slightly open. The living area was to the left of the door and I saw clothes strewn across the floor from that area to the bedroom door. I moved closer to the bedroom door with my heart in my mouth and saw a foot sticking out by the door. I moved closer again, I saw another pair of feet that I recognized. In fact, I knew they were Kola’s feet because we always joked about how large they were and the sole of his feet had a funny mark.

My heart sunk. I already figured out what was going on but I just had to confirm.

I inched closer to the door and as I got closer, my heart sunk even lower.

No. Not my, Kola. No. No.No. He couldn’t be doing this behind my back. I still don’t know how I managed to do it until today but I pushed the door open and said “Why didn’t you guys just try to make it to the bed. You already made it to the room.”

They both froze as they heard my voice and when I saw who the other party was, the blood drained from my face.

“Busola!” I screamed

They jumped off each other, Busola tried to grab something to cover herself and Kola scrambled to his feet. I turned around and headed for the door.

“Nike, please. It’s not what you think.” Kola said as he ran after me. He actually tried to touch me but I think the look I gave him had enough power to kill so he stepped back. I stepped out of the door and never looked back. He tried calling me several times, but I never picked up. Funny enough, after about three months he stopped calling and six months after the incident, I saw a wedding website for him and Busola.

Ah! How could Busola have done that to me?

Busola, my cousin and the reason my father finally allowed me to come to the US. In fact, he had told my mom I could only come if I got admitted into the same school as Busola so she could look out for me. I got to school and she really took care of me that first year. She was a junior at the time and I met Kola through her. Throughout the relationship, she would tease me endlessly and say things like “I go love, oh!” I knew she had moved to the same city as Kola when she graduated but I never suspected anything between them. I figured they were friends even before I came into the picture so it was natural for them to be in contact. My own cousin, my blood had betrayed me right alongside the man I was planning to spend the rest of my life with.

Now, my pillow is wet with tears and I have almost gone through a whole Kleenex box. How am I to love another man after this? Ehn? Even with him getting married, here I am still dreaming about him. God help me.

My phone is ringing. I turn to look at my bedside clock.
It must be my mom. I just finally got to sleep a few minutes ago and now she was waking me up again.

I pick up my phone and rub my eyes to make sure I am not dreaming yet again.

He Said

August 26, 2008

DH Movie Day: Ekaete

Before I get started... I just couldnt resist this Blast from the Past... Who remembers Robyn... well if you dont... here's the reminder!

I was watching a Nigerian movie a couple of weeks ago on someone's blog... which I found to be interesting... My friends would be surprised that I sat down and watched it on my laptop... I surprised myself.... very unlike me... but I liked it... and I started to search out some more... I found another one I really liked... I put all the clips together to play continuously so no one has to go searching....

I think this a good movie. It is a lesson on how to stay humble. I'm sure it must happen in other parts of the world but I just can't help feeling that Nigeria is a nation of "feelers"... as in everyone wants to be prestigious... and when they are, sometimes they abuse the power that comes with it... Life has so many turns... you just never know... always be good to people... this movie reminds me of a quote I heard back in college. Something to the effect of be careful of the toes you step on- on your way to the top, they might be attached to the "butt" you have to kiss on your way back down... My prayer is I never have to go back down... but still be very careful... always remain humble... that is my prayer now... That as I get elevated, that God keeps me humble....


August 24, 2008

Cant make it to church today?

click HERE to watch my church LIVE
(if you live outside Metro Atlanta)
7:00am EST and 10:30am EST
(london time: 12pm and 3:30pm)

NewBirth Missionary Baptist Church
Lithonia, GA

Guest preacher today: Bishop T.D.Jakes

August 21, 2008

Music Im Feeling: Sister Hazel - All for you / This Kind of Love

Ever heard of Sister Hazel... maybe not... the song may seem familiar though

For the longest time I thought this song was by Hootie and the Blowfish... they sound alike I think as far as this particular song goes... but I obviously found out differently. I really like this song... the chorus is definitely speaking to some things that Im feeling right now... and I like the harmony as well....

All For You

Finally I figured out
But it took a long long time
And now there's a turnabout
Maybe cause I'm trying
There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads
Well they lead to you?
I just can't turn
And walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
Words can't say, I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

And I thought I'd seen it all
Cause it's been a long long time
Oh but then we'll trip and fall
Wondering if I'm blind
There's been times
I'm so confused
All my roads
Well they lead me to you?
I just can't turn
And walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

Rain comes pouring down
(Pouring down)
Falling from blue skies
(Falling from blue skies)
Words without a sound
Coming from your eyes

finally I figured out
But it took a long long time
And now there's a turnabout
Maybe cause I'm trying
There's been times
I'm so confused
All my roads
Well they lead to you?
I just can't turn
And walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, I can't do
Enough to prove it's all for you

It's hard to say,
Yea it's hard to say,
It's all for you

another song by Sister Hazel... I think this a great wedding song... A guy to feel this much... express so much in words... is a true gem! (forgive the kissiness of the video)

This kind of love makes me feel ten feet tall
It makes all my problems fall
And this kind of trust helps me to hold the line
I'll be there every time

This kind of love it's what I dreamed about
Yeah it fills me up
Baby it leaves no doubt
This kind of love it's why I'm standing here
It's something that we can share
I can't get enough of this kind of love

This kind of hope is what I try to find
And now I can't deny... I believe
And this kind of faith is so unshakeable
It's unmistakable
It's bigger than me


Your love can move a mountain
It makes my world go round
It's always there to guide me
I'm so lucky that I found

This kind of love is what I dreamed about
Yeah it fills me up
Well baby it leaves no doubt
This kind of love it's why I'm standing here
It's something that we can share
I can't get enough of this kind of love
This kind of love