August 31, 2007

did you guys hear of this?




AN UPDATE!

August 27, 2007

say what?!?!? please watch this

goodness gracious...
i saw this on David Letterman... and it was almost too painful to watch... and then they repeated the clip.... I had to put my TV on mute... just watch!


August 24, 2007

Provoked into beating your wife

By now the news has gone round about the bishop and his wife and their "domestic" incident. My friend and I were talking about it. I said a man can be provoked to the point of beating up his wife. She contends that nothing should ever get to that stage.

The incident which is loosely being reported started with them meeting up apparently to reconcile. The Bishop left and his wife followed him to the parking lot where the scuffle occurred. Now we can all paint her to be the victim... but im saying that a man can be provoked... My friend says that's where the fear of God comes in... cuz if you feared God then it wouldnt happen...

My friend says there is no excuse... no justification... that even if the woman hits you... you should find a way to get out

Im not happy that a "bishop" is involved in this incident... but ultimately... as superhuman as we may think our preachers and co are... they are still human... but i always just feel they are subject to higher standards... kinda how we expect better things from public figures and what not...

I dont know the true details of the case and certainly all married couples go through their share of issues and Im sure most wouldnt want their personal lives splattered on TV.... radio.. print media... so I wish the bishop and his wife the best...

However I think there's a point where someone can snap...

if you are a BigBrother addict like me and caught yesterday's show... the evicted houseguest JEN... was crazy... she went and broke another houseguest's cigarettes... all four cartons... then poured bleach on them... and then got in his face when he started smoking outside... and I coulda sworn there was a beat down coming... infact I marveled at the guy's patience...

I guess they say there's always a way out... maybe running away... or something... but still... i cant get past that the guy had left and was followed before this happened...


hmmm...




read the article HERE
im a little disturbed about how the various articles have been phrased and rephrased.... since the incident occured....

August 16, 2007

the shadiness that is nigeria!!!

redomination of the naira?
come again?

Question:
how does this improve anyone's life... it doesnt make sense and I am not in support of it. This is going to be quite an expensive project. If ever we needed revalidation of our third world status.... here it is. First you change the money last year... then you want to redominate it?

If $1 is N120.... then next year as of august it will N1.20k... nothing has changed... if anything I feel the value will worsen.. basically just divide everything by 100. So N250 will now become N2.50... basically the lowest denomination will be .50kobo... which used to be N5

if someone feels obliged to help me understand this better then im all ears...
didnt we just change the money last year? and yet we're embarking on another project... I dont know that Nigeria... its citizens are ready for this...

I feel this will hurt us more than it will help... I Dont know... I need to read up more on this... I will be reading up on it... at this time this whole thing seems shady.... smells like "cow dung".

So now we will have a new denomination and BE CAREFUL not to spray anyone with it else you get arrested.

I had a conversation with someone who said the law against spraying was good because it was really demeaning. That in the old days the respectful way would be to put money in an envelope and present it to the person but it became a competition type thing... each person wanted to be a "local champion"... and that's how spraying became the thing to do... frankly I dont share that point of view...

I can tell you that when my sister got married many years ago... thanks to being sprayed I was able to change my flight ticket and leave later... I dont think anyone was in competition and have never noticed it to be so...

I think instead of trying to redenominate the currency... invest back in the country instead of siphoning funds... allow things to work.... allow the opportunity for people to progress... then it will become stronger

once again.. if anyone wants to shed any light on this for me.. im willing to learn/change my mind if it makes sense

Music Im Feeling: Tonic - If you could only see

This past monday found this song in my head.. out of nowhere... I just started singing it at work... It's an old one... I dont have the Tonic version on here.. I tried and tried to look for a great acoustic version... and found a short cover done by Kali Azurra

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hh2U6wEKTos




The story is the guy was in a relationship with a much older woman and his mother did not approve. Hence the song...

How old is too old... what is the minimum age gap that you'd allow... I've always maintained that I'd be with anyone from +9 to -1 of my age...

I once dated a guy that was almost 20years older than me... my mother did not approve of course... but there was no stopping me... I thought I was in love... i was like 17 then... lol.. what a big mistake that wouldve been... Ive always maintained that Im more mature than my age... and because people in their interaction with me assumed so as well... I did think I was so grown.. but in hindsight.. I had much to learn... so much more and i was NOT in love

and I know this question has been posed over and over again... why is it more acceptable for the guy to be older and not vice versa?

anyways...
Should there be an age limit? A friend once told me about a grandfather(Im talking above 70)... was dating a girl that was just barely out of her teens and even had a baby? I almost couldnt believe it. What was the attraction?


My friend said Love is mysterious... I guess so

Here's the full length version

August 13, 2007

Extramarital Friendships

...not affairs... but friendships... which can continue growing and growing and going and going like the freaking Energizer Bunny to goodness knows where....

So after three recommendations... my friend BK, my sister Shay and my boyfriend Bob... I sorta psyched my cousin into giving me money and went out to get the movie I Think I Love My Wife starring Chris Rock (i just couldnt bring myself to use my own money for it)... and I was getting a bit peeved watching it... I missed the humor somewhere... I mean how can a guy be so stupid stupid stupid... okay... there was some humor there...I think I chuckled a couple of times but I was really mad at the characters Nikki and Richard....

But the movie got me thinking... about friendships. I know a couple of people who have best friends of the opposite sex... What becomes of that relationship when you get married. Is it appropriate to carry on as is?

I dont think so! And I dont think it has anything to do with insecurities either. Once I get married, I expect to become my husband's bestfriend and vice versa... I mean I would think we're sorta on that level before we become married anyways. He can have a "same sex" best friend... but one of the opposite sex? not allowed...

Okay... maybe there are some insecurities involved. I think there are underlying feelings with people that are best friends... especially of the opposite sex. Maybe Im wrong. I feel like it takes just one event.. maybe even one drink too many to shift the friendship into something else... and when you're married.. that is just hazardous. I mean Im all for being friendly... but naaah men... there must be a limit. Anyone watch the movie Brown Sugar? Yeah... bestfriends became bedfriends!!!

naaahhhh... u know what? I changed my mind again... isnt that the prerogative of a woman? There may be instances where insecurities do come in.. but for the most part.. .may be not... I think it's a matter of what's appropriate. And trust.. being the other woman... is sooooooooooo not fun... I mean imagine if you're accused of being the other woman when there's really no other woman... or worse... what if there is but it's not you... what is your defense... this applies to men as well... after all yall are so close and buddy buddy.. who's to say what's really really go on... or up? shhhhh or down.

With each level in life, you just have to learn to appreciate it. Some people complain about friends not keeping in touch after they get married... after they have kids... when they have a boyfriend... but I think we all need to realize that these are seasons in our lives.. no one season is the same... we've got fall, winter, spring and summer... (well Europeans just imagine that you had all four okay?) each with their pros and cons... so yes it kinda sucks that S* and I are no longer buddies.. but I understand that with a woman in his life... Im probably not the confidante he's looking for... and the few times we've talked... we dont flow like before. It sucks but I understand it and Im grateful for the years of our friendship... if he didnt exist back then, Im not so sure I'd be such a good driver now :-)

The movie ended on a good note... "Richard" stated you dont choose who you love... but you do decide how you love them... and that comes with understanding ways to express it in the different seasons... and staying away from opposite sex best friends type relationships... ya heard!!!!!!!! except one of them is gay or something... then it's totally fine

my favorite quote from the movie: **you can lose alot of money chasing women but you'll never lose women chasing money**

now I have to go figure out why the Man asked me If Id seen it... yes.. what was he thinking about...

anyways back to work... it's Monday already. I took some time off last week... for bereavement... right about now I wouldnt mind winning the lottery... so I can contribute to providing world peace.. why else?... but first I need to buy a ticket...

and Im bidding on something on ebay for the first time... gosh... I hope I win it... it's Marantha's Praise Band CDs 1 - 3. There's a very rare one done with Ebenezer Obey.. still looking for that one

Have a wonderful rest of your week :-)
p.s. i updated my "words to live by" blog if you're interested

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*The story of S can be found here: part 1:He has a girlfriend, part 2: I havent met her yet, part 3: But I will
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Something To Talk ...

August 7, 2007

1 fight, 2 aunts and 3 phones

I had a fight with my mom recently... not good.
so i decided to call her today... I love her too much...
Something happened to my mom a couple of weeks ago... three sundays ago I believe.. Someone came into my mothers house and stole all her phones... plus her ID and stuff... it was in a little purse... We know who did it. I wasnt too happy cuz I just bought her one of those phones for her birthday and now its gone... worse.. the person who stole it doesnt know the true value of it and probably sold it for much less than it was worth... Anyways... We got thru that... no charges were filed or anything as this was a "family" issue... But I told my mom to let that person know he is no longer welcome to the house... my house... It hurt my mom... you know how it is when you lose something that you're attached to... all her contacts... gone.. 3 phones... gone... just like that... anyways it's all good... Life goes on... phones are just phones... not like your life was stolen from u...

That same week, I got to speak with one of my "aunt's"... Mama Nuru. She's not my aunt in the traditional sense of the word but this is the most appropriate term that I can find for her... She was speaking to me in Yoruba and I tried to respond. I've known Mama Nuru for years and years. Her daughter was a tailor and owned a shop beside my 2nd mother's shop in lagos... and somehow... someway we became close... her daughter was always saving scraps of material and helping me sew clothes for my dolls. Mama Nuru was a cook (abi caterer)... and she was a great one... I salivating right now just remembering the different dishes she would make... She got introduced to several other people through us... and I guess became part of the family. We knew all the children.. It was good... But anyways I spoke with her and then spoke to my mom and it was all good...

The following sunday, my mother sent me a text... my aunt was dead... no not mama nuru.... my real aunt... my mother's first sister... mama P... (interesting how everyone is named mama this and mama that)... I felt bad... We werent close but I could tell my mom was hurt and I hurt because she hurt... Had dealt with her phone the week before... most of her business contacts and all that gone... you know the emotions that come with losing something close to you... the following week now she lost her sister... I felt bad for my mom and wanted to console her...

Then we fought... I ended up telling her not to bother me anymore... I really wanted to hurt her... and I felt awful... I felt like by hurting her so she would listen to me... It was very wrong of me... So I didnt call her for like a week... And I typically call her every other day.. so today I chatted with my sister who encouraged me to leave it to God (easier to say than do... believe me)... so I grudgingly picked up the phone and called mama this morning...

I asked her about the burial plans.. and then she said something to me... about Mama Nuru... she's dead! WHAT? How could this be? I just spoke with her two weeks ago. This is the woman that was going to do the catering for my wedding... for my mom's birthday... I had it all planned in my head... I knew she was waiting for my day.. cuz she's one of the people that had watched me grow up...

My mom apologized to me... stated she didn't really want to tell me. Apparently on friday she'd been knocked down by an Okada driver.. bleeding from the head... bled to death... Another soul lost... and I wonder what became of the driver...

You dont know the time... you never know... This thought has been running through my mind. Im glad I was able to speak w/Mama Nuru before she passed away... sad that I wont get to see my aunt again.

Some people fear death. My friend BK said she's ready to go if the good Lord so wishes... I really admired that... how many people can say that... I realize now that you can really only live when you dont fear death (i actually had something more profound to say here but I cant quite remember it)... and a couple of years ago... I realized something about time... I realized that if I lost my loved ones, I didnt want to have any regrets.. and from that moment I started having better relationships... started learning how to deal with a variety of people... especially my immediate family. I learned that I dont have to like what they do to have a good relationship with them...

so i guess as you live, you learn what's important... objects (like the phones) can be replaced... relationships should be nourished and preserved

Hope you guys are having a wonderful week so far...

August 6, 2007

To Bob...

...I'm sorry
Heather Headley - ...


...I miss you
Jessica Simpson & ...


...I appreciate all that you are
Heather Headley - ...