April 27, 2007

TERC

join me and other bloggers for TERC this morning...
(commenters/non-bloggers are most welcome)
from 5am - 6am (us eastern standard time)
(10am - 11am UK time)
Dial in #: 605- 990- 0100
Access Code: 161292#


for updates on TERC...
if you have questions....
want to know what we discussed...

go to www.tercblog.blogspot.com




April 26, 2007

reflections

Galatians 6:17
Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus


my mother sent me a text message. Apparently this was the message I gave her when I was around 10 or so... I wrote it for her... i think i put it behind the chair in her office. At the time I think her colleague was giving her grief.... The thing is I was amazed... I asked her if she was sure that I was the one who wrote it. She said yes. Apparently she still has it. I had to ask her what passage it was... when she said it...it sounded so profound... I was a bit amazed that I would write such a thing...

i wonder what happened to me really. where is that passion that i had when i was younger. why dont i remember all these things that i used to do. what happened to me? I mean I still love God no doubt but it's just not the same. I remember I would pray in water and drink and know that I would be healed. My mom said my grandma used to ask me to pray in her water for her... I just laugh cuz I dont remember... but I do believe in things like that. One thing I've always had going for me is my faith. My faith that God will always take care of me

Im out of sorts at the moment. Im just there. and "there" is not a very good place to be. Well maybe "there" isnt the right word. Im transitioning... Ive started to notice little changes about me. For instance,I have no desire to sin. Which is pretty interesting. Cuz I find myself willing myself to sin... actually consciously... attempting to.... but I have no desire to... It's just weird for me. Cuz sinning was sorta a comfort zone for me... But my waning desire is good because that is where I want to be... and my desire for other things... are just not there anymore... things that I know are not good for me. Like the desire to go to work... it's completely gone... LOL.. maybe its just laziness yeah? One thing Im beginning to realize is even when u dont feel like moving... u just have to... like I so do not feel like leaving this bed today at all... but I have to... at least to cook something... That's another thing... My desire for junk food... I dont know where it went... Now i find myself actually shopping for proper food... WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME

anyways...
the TERC blog has been updated. Miguel talks about two guys in the bible... Elijah & Elisha. It is a message of hope. It is a message to remain focused. check it out HERE

hope everyone's week is going great.

April 24, 2007

My darling shay

baby you called me and i wasnt sure if you were laughing or crying
i asked "baby what is it... talk to me"

so it's official! you're getting married.
he proposed!!!! oh goodness... and the way he did it too... oh goodness
i want to play a thousand love songs... i want to write a thousand poems about love and committment... all for u

I sit here thinking of the day. Thinking of all the things I want you to get done because your day has to be perfect. I love you so much and I want you to be happy. Im glad that you've found a wonderful partner in G. What a wonderful guy. But this isnt about him. This is about you. We've laughed and cried and laughed and laughed. I cant remember a time when we've been together and we havent laughed.

From that time in California...when I really disliked you
To that time in Boston where we met the french man and his lover in the laundromart
Remember Tony and that guy with the funny finger movements as he danced?
To walking home from Mass Ave station with sis Ts friend and some crazy guy cursing at us
How about the time in Knoxville where the bus driver thought we were lesbians
or your memories of me being so cuddly and attached
i guess i never realized i was sooooooooo touchy feely... :-)
To the time you swore you would never date... promised you would never wear pants
How about our dear Jeff... and Tina... and the whole boston crew
and who can forget our dear and wonderful and ever so colorful family members
and our dear dear sister... and when daddy wanted us to call K.. brother K
and how we didnt call him for a while
and to recently... in london
to the time u scared me when you got sick and I didnt know what to do
Babe...we've come a long way
everything wasnt rosy
but no one can doubt the love that we share

Im sitting here.. thinking about my speech... knowing that it has to be perfect
wondering what I will say... wondering what J is going to say... Wondering if we should try to work something together...
thinking about color schemes and placements of so many little things
thinking about what Im going to do for yall that's out of this world....
I imagine you... a princess... floating in.. in your beautiful gown....
then you in your trad... trying to ki.. ko? mole? lol... girl you know what i mean... get down
you're so beautiful. inside and out. Everyone who meets you likes you. G is one lucky dude
im so glad that you have someone whose heart is with God
that will give you romance... serenade you in so many different ways...
i know you're my big sister but i feel like your big sister...
i want to hold your hand thru every process
i want to slay your dragons
i want to create the perfect place for you and your yummy hubby

I know that our relationship will change... your husband is now IT... but always know that when you want to scream... when you want to cry... and always when you want to laugh... im an email/phone call away... and maybe... one day... we'll be a short drive away... so that our daughters can grow up together and be friends by force :-). I'll even babysit... ONE TIME... i'll even try changing the diapers... if for some strange reason no one else is around... eeewwww... now u know this is love

our love has withstood the test of time... when God created me... he knew I'd make the perfect sister for you... LOL... arent you so lucky. I am lucky... lucky to have someone who prays for me... who encourages me... someone that can help me put ALL my bloginfatuations in perspective.. lol...

gosh... still thinking about that day... I'll try not to cry okay?.. I'll try but wont promise
oh my goodness... we're grown up now sis...
no more thinking about first kisses...
now it's about... sex... and kids... and intimacy... and honoring God in a different way

so some time... before that day.. when you have a quiet moment... allow thots of me to squeeze in while you think of G...and just smile at all the memories we've had... and smile at the future we're creating... and laugh because it's all good and God is definitely in control

April 23, 2007

post-london

im back!
i called the office to request two extra days off... im tempted to even take the rest of the week off

my trip to england was wonderful. I had a really good time... thanks to two lovely ladies... LondonBuki being one. If you had met LB and I.. u wouldnt kmow we had just met... and then there was.... (i dont know if she wants me to broadcast who she is... so I'll leave it for now)... Both ladies were great. They really took care of me... I was more than impressed although LondonBuki is a bit razz.. she's still cool

There were so many things I wanted to do... and yet nothing that I wanted to do. My plans were quite fluid. The night before I left I almost cried.. cuz Id grown attached to the people already...

I packed my suitcases... even changed the way I folded my clothes and what not... and when I weighed it at home it said both of them were excess. I just started praying for favor... cuz i was like im not paying excess luggage... cuz the thing is.. none of my stuff was excess... it was stuff for other ppl that was excess and I wasnt about to drop anything either... anyways got to airport and it was cool... so we thank God for that

so prior to me leaving the states...my cousin said she couldnt take me to the airport but she wouldnt mind picking me up. So I called her to confirm... no answer... called and called.. no answer. Now I have quite an imagination. I was like... I hope nothing has happened to her. I hope she hasnt been kidnapped or anything or that her ex husband hasnt gotten to her cuz it's strange that she wouldnt pick up... or even return my messages... one time someone answered and hung up. I was already planning how I would go by the house and check to see all is well. planning how I would get the police involved on a missing person's case. my mind had travelled. only for me to get to chicago and this lady picked her phone that she was away for the weekend... visiting her man and couldnt call back because it was international. i said why didnt u call my local cell then and leave a message... better still why didnt u PICK up the phone... . she answered the phone and asked "how are you"... me i asked "where have you been"... I was relieved and then annoyed... she asked me again how i was...i too asked where she'd been. she said i should mind my Ps and Qs... she should come and move my mouth for me abi... RUBBISHi just hung up... NONSENSE

im not home yet. will get home later today. start working on my resume soon as well. sort thru mail. clean my house. and just chill. i managed to bring some bitter lemon back with me. Yall remember it from nigeria right? well they dont sell it here in georgia... only Tonic Water which I love as well. So I brought back several bottles of bitter lemon... infact one suitcase was full of FOOD... that was why it was excess. I left the yam someone at peckham gave me... I dont know what is it about that peckham.. they seemed to just love me there

oh... on the plane... first off... American Airlines is better than Delta for international travel... hmmm who wouldve known... I recommend them to england anyways. but on the plane. I sat next to his hottie o. and he kept writing in his journal. On his screen was our flight map. then he would trace somn with his finger then write in his journal. after that he put his journal in a ziploc bag... i was like...is the plane going to crash ni or what and putting it in the ziploc will preserve his finally writings... cuz i was like let me too write in it... he cant be a terrorist... can he? men i started praying o. that the plane will land safely.. cuz i didnt understand what this guy was writing... alot too. anyways i finally had to ask him about it... i didnt ask him what he was writing but i asked him why he kept his journal in a ziploc bag. Turns out he's an aritiste somewhere... and he has lots of junk in his bag so he keeps the journal in there to protect it. also the journal he has was given to him by a certain person and it still smells like that person so in a way...it's there to preserve that... i thot that was so sweet... i wish id taken his pic... oh well. It's just amazing the ppl you meet if you only open ur mouth to say hello with a smile!!!

and then i had a dream about kissing someone... very weird... this person was so crazy about me that he started blogging about me o... i went to his blog... na so so Diamond this Diamond that... ask me who this person is o... Im not even sure... LOL... infact the dream was too funny. i think the kiss was somehow somehow...i recall trying to pry his mouth open with a finger... infact i dont understand. i think i've been readin too many blogs... not to talk of all these blog honeys sef

anyways yall have a great week. and to the two wonderful ladies in North London... you guys are simply LOVELY!!!

April 20, 2007

Mushin Olosha

oh sorry...i meant peckham...

that is where i fell in like with a meat seller

his name is salla.. he's from iraq... he's kurdish

he is my personal souvenir
he has this funky cut on the side of his head....one of a swoosh... the other of some crazy lines

anyways... he's cool
we talked about several things...
other ppl were just looking at us like we were crazy

and he gave me and my family a really good deal on the meat we bought
actually gave me a special something something...

... that's what a smile and a little conversation will get you... a great deal!!!!

if you go to peckham... look for Salla.. tell him Diamond sent you... but please... no flirting with him

he's MINE!!!

April 18, 2007

very random

i cant write the words i want to say
i start. i stop. i start. i stop
my hands stutter thru the words that i know so well in here
i want to take your hands and put them to my heart
so that you too can feel the rhythm of my words
feel it as it courses through me
i want to take your hands on an excursion...
thru peaks and valleys...
concaves and convexes
i want to look at you and just know
know that you see what i feel and you feel what i see
i want to know that the words we speak undercover have a chance some time
some day... some where... over the freaking rainbow.. lol
my thoughts are so disjointed
yet they make sense to me
im inspired yet uninspired
i cradled ur head in my lap the other day...
it was only a thought that broke into my consciousness
an instant that lasted a few minutes
then i realized
i want to be where you are
so that I can dip into you
and taste from the honey that flows forth
i want to do lame things
like hold ur hand, swing it back and forth
back and forth...whenever... wherever
however
maybe not so elementary
i want you to read my thoughts
and then I want you to understand
i want you to think that im writing this for you
and know that it's your call
i just...
want you ...
that's it really
all these nouns and pronouns
verbs and adverbs
missing adjectives...
with seemingly no focused objective
i just want you
maybe for like a day
and then we'll see...

April 17, 2007

so random...

My people... please tell me if it is by force to lose weight?

My vacation started today... officially... dont ask me what was going on last week

But let me tell you
if im not running down the stairs.... then it's up the stairs... or down the road...
to catch the bus... to catch the train... infact.. the white in my nikes has so many dark smudges... from that grimy underground station.... abegggggggyyyyyy... if i live here... i will need to buy a car o... cuz all this train and buses... ko ba mi lara mu at all at all (it doesnt suit my body). and then sometimes the buses dont come according to their schedule... how annoying... and then ppl have the nerve to put their wild animals on the same bus as me.... it's fear that made me stand infront of the bus yesterday... after I saw two pit bulls in the back...the only place there were empty seats.... I wasnt trying to get attacked.... Now there's something that I find a little freaky... the cameras EVERY where... me... I dont know if it's all about security o... me thinks the government is up to something a bit more dodgy than that.... but anyways what Im trying to say is this: Im sure somehow with the running and shuffling about... I lost a pound somewhere on the road

Something strange has been happening to me while Im here. It's called "self-acceptance'. There are some days I wake up and I absolutely do NOT like myself. And there are other days... where I feel okay. Apart from today...i've been sneezing the whole day...watery eyes...runny nose.... Anyways.... being here... Im actually learning to accept me for who I am. Understanding that if I remain true to myself... sometimes rude...funny...easy going... playful... sarcastic... sweet... generous... nonchalant... then it's all good. It is a hard lesson to learn... not sure im all the way there yet... but I am on my way. I just think it a strange thing to learn while Im on vacation.

I've been blessed while Im here. My cousin has taken good care of me. He came all the way from manchester. He's such a darling. Was anyone reading this a part of HookUp Nigerians on MSN??? Well I met Lawgiver...a prominent member... after like 8 years of chatting and calling and sending birthday cards and all that good stuff.... and then there are these two girls that I met randomly one day... I think they blog as well...but they are absolutely wonderful. I just want to bag them and take them home with me... for real. but I wont take them out cuz they're quite razz... Im sure you guys know the girls Im talking about now that I mentioned they're razz

I went to the Festival of Life. It was good. Although I was dozing a little... and I promise there was a girl infront who kept polluting the air... Well we give God the Glory... polluters and non polluters alike...we all came to worship the same God... abi? I claimed all the blessings sha... I dont know what Temmy and them are saying o....
I have so much to say... yet I dont feel like I should... or like I can... so for now I'll stop here. I hope you guys are doing well. I trust that everyone that wanted to make a request has done so already keeping in mind that my grandfather did not build the bank of england

i have a song playing now... it's titled Everything and it's by Tim Hughes. My sister played it for me on her guitar... very lovely song. So now I've decided to buy a guitar cuz I have to learn to play the song as well... Then I went to the Vineyard church on sunday and they sang it there as well... such a simple song... yet it communicates everything... if u guys join us for TERC on friday... u might actually hear me sing it o... that shud be a motivating factor :-)
... or maybe not!!! Just listen to the words... absorb them... and then tell me if u dont like this song as much as I do

anyways will be back later in the week with some juicy stuff... :-)... maybe...got inspired to put some words down... but they're floating in my head... just trying to capture them is all...

April 6, 2007

I see London... I see France

okay...maybe not France... but Im sure I must have flown over it at some point

I am here finally... I bring you londoners greetings from the durrrrrttttyyyyyyyyyyyy souf
Im here to brighten up those dreary clouds for the next week or so although the weather is nice today

First I'd like to thank God... for bringing me safely here. God is worthy to be praised. And I commit the rest of my trip into His Hands...

I was to fly into Heathrow...but due to some extreme delays I ended up flying direct into gatwick. How about I sent a text message to my brother and my sister to let them know of the change and my brother didnt get it. So he was waiting for me at heathrow...but thankfully my sister got it and was there to meet me....

There are some things Im trying to work on while Im here so we'll see how it goes... all in all I just want to have fun. This is the first real vacation OUTSIDE the country that i've taken in years... lots of ppl to meet and lots of places to go....

But somn annoying thing happened at the LondonBridge train station... this girl...clearly african was asking for a phone....I was like I dont live here so I dont know o... but it took me a while to understand her...I dont know what kind of funny accent she was using to talk to my sister and I o.... I was like NA BY FORCE

Then on the train, we met this older naija guy who gave us a brief history lesson of Lagos and Benin... how in Benin eko means camp but in yoruba it means lagos... that's because the benin ppl were in lagos first... it was the port of entry and there were lots of camps and blahblah blah... interesting history... glad I was able to talk to him...

anyhooooooo
if you want to call me and say Hello
My number is {check back later or email me}

April 2, 2007

Two Pebbles (food for thought)

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender, an old, ugly and devious character.

Knowing that the farmer did not have the resources to pay him back, the moneylender proposed a bargain - he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified.

In an attempt to appear honourable, the moneylender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. The girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be pardoned. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into his bag.

The moneylender then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, when faced with such a sudden and sticky situation, how was the girl going to untangle herself and her father? Most of us would arrive at three options:

1. The girl could refuse to take a pebble. Her father would be imprisoned as a result.

2. The girl could show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat. But then, the moneylender could still demand that the debt be paid up.

3. The girl could pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

What would you recommend?

*******UPDATE***** april 5, 2007*********
******HERE'S WHAT THE GIRL DID****************

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble was black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender couldn't admit his dishonesty, he grudgingly forgave the farmer's debt.