August 24, 2007

Provoked into beating your wife

By now the news has gone round about the bishop and his wife and their "domestic" incident. My friend and I were talking about it. I said a man can be provoked to the point of beating up his wife. She contends that nothing should ever get to that stage.

The incident which is loosely being reported started with them meeting up apparently to reconcile. The Bishop left and his wife followed him to the parking lot where the scuffle occurred. Now we can all paint her to be the victim... but im saying that a man can be provoked... My friend says that's where the fear of God comes in... cuz if you feared God then it wouldnt happen...

My friend says there is no excuse... no justification... that even if the woman hits you... you should find a way to get out

Im not happy that a "bishop" is involved in this incident... but ultimately... as superhuman as we may think our preachers and co are... they are still human... but i always just feel they are subject to higher standards... kinda how we expect better things from public figures and what not...

I dont know the true details of the case and certainly all married couples go through their share of issues and Im sure most wouldnt want their personal lives splattered on TV.... radio.. print media... so I wish the bishop and his wife the best...

However I think there's a point where someone can snap...

if you are a BigBrother addict like me and caught yesterday's show... the evicted houseguest JEN... was crazy... she went and broke another houseguest's cigarettes... all four cartons... then poured bleach on them... and then got in his face when he started smoking outside... and I coulda sworn there was a beat down coming... infact I marveled at the guy's patience...

I guess they say there's always a way out... maybe running away... or something... but still... i cant get past that the guy had left and was followed before this happened...


read the article HERE
im a little disturbed about how the various articles have been phrased and rephrased.... since the incident occured....


azuka said...

The reported story seems to put the man in the wrong -- it doesn't look like he was provoked.

Violence is sick -- period. The only problem I have with it is the double-standards -- men being held to higher standards, etc etc. Throw all that out of the window and let everyone get punished for the slightest act of assault :-D


DiAmOnD hawk said...

you know what Azuka... that's kinda what's niggling at me.. ive been following the story since it broke out and let me tell you the articles have changed the wordings so many times in favor of the woman... and yes there is a double standard... i guess it's because traditionally... and still now i believe physically men are stronger...

ebony said...

Diamond you want to hurt somebody! Haba you should have alluded a little about who it is, given a hint...I almost passed out while reading the article. I only heard about the troubles while watching her conference held earlier this month, but this one...hmmm....

DiAmOnD hawk said...

I didnt want to blast out who it was... pele o.. i hope you're taking it ez... read on ur blog that you'd be taking a break... you know you have to come back very very soon.. and there was no email add on ur profile!

ebony said...

I am recovering small-small...I am really shocked and disappointed. Wonder if it had to do with submission.....just a thought. Still no excuse for hitting her of the school of thought that believes even if she is chasing the man down with a kondo (stick)he should just keep stepping, especially being a man of God and such.

Thanks for noting about the email, I'll add it on.

Soul said...

I'm actually too shocked at your statement to actually leave a decent comment

Seriously! Too darn shocked.

A man can be provoked, you mean he couldn't walk away. If she was a man would he have grabbed at her throat? would he have had the balls to stomp on her.

Wow! I don't give a damn if he is a man of 'the cloth' or not.. that's irrelevant here..
I'm just seriously sitting here thinking... that you actually sat here and wrote... a man can be provoked..


DiAmOnD hawk said...

shocked? really...

well I stand by the fact a guy can be provoked... just like a woman can be provoked... everyone has their breaking point... please note... that being provoked doesnt give you an automatic license to be abusive... so my noted opinion does not condone abuse... what i am saying is that YES... a man... ANYONE really... can be provoked to doing something... like beating someone else up

and yes... the guy may have very well acted in a like manner...if it had been a guy... maybe the injuries wouldve been worse...

and in this case... he did walk away and she followed him out to his car... there's always a means out... but i think if we talk about keeping it real... in true life situations... you can be provoked... my thoughts

Soul said...

Fair enough, those are your thoughts.
They met at the hotel to reconcile, so it's not like this women went to a man to harrass him, they were there to reconcile.

He walked walked to the car park, she followed him. It doesn't matter what she said, he could have said something back.
who knows what he said to her to make her follow him and say something?.

There are only 2 places that I've read that 'she followed him' and both of those places are on blogs, (your blog being one)

On Main news reports, all it says is 'he walked away and then turned around and started beating her.
She could have been walking to her car, it doesn't say.
she could have said something to him... it doesn't say..

The news articles just say, he turned around and started beating her, then kicked her to the ground and started stomping on her.

I'd be saying the same thing if this was an average joe bloggs, jane doe or whatever.
Or even if it was a woman who did the beating or whatever (which does happen)

Proveoked into beating your wife? that is the excuse of any abuser.
You can be provoked into anger.. but into hitting out? stomping on and repeatedly kicking?

We are all provoked in real like.. but there is absolutely nothing which jusitfies that headline you put up there..

Projvoked into beating your wife?.
Just wow.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

A man can be provoked, but as woman who loves herself and who has found herself in that situation - I think if you are able to have an escape route - take it and run, and not to hang around for whatever may happen next. Im not advocating wife beating, and yes a man should not get to that point - but if the devil is trying to wreak havoc - I will not be sticking around for it.

Uzo said...

Its so sad. After the fairytale wedding - he gives her beatdown in the parking lot? Unreal...There is absolutely no excuse or reason for battery. The true test of a man is his ability to walk away

Uzo said...

And i have to say from personal experience that this man should be dealt with so hard, he will look to God for forgiveness. What kind of provocation again? If we all walked around and allowed our emotions to get the better of us everytime we are "provoked", we would be walking around killing people over and over.

There is no reason...absolutely none that will make a man (let alone a touted man of God), kick, stomp and choke the woman he used to love? Please.....

DiAmOnD hawk said...

very true Uzo... ultimately even though you can be provoked... the ultimate decision lies in the person... the articles have changed their wordings however... the story is not being reported now as it was originally when the story first broke... the way they write it now... they make it seem... like he just turned around... which isnt what the original articles stated... in any case... there is no justification...

Soul said...

Diamond.. with all due respect..
you keep saying that the story has been re-written, implaying that you read the original news article and that somehow this woman did something which made this man lash out at her.

I would like to understand where you are coming from, so can you please point out what the original article which you read, had to say about this incident?.

Otherwise, I really don't see how you can keep saying that the articles have changed. That would require a huge conspiracy theory.
I've read over 20 different write-ups about this and I still don't see where you are coming from.

Also remember there was an eye witness to this assault.

If this woman had soo much as put her hands on him, then it's a different case, but as long as she didn't then nothing.. absolutely nothing justifies what he did.

I still can't believe that you are of the opinion that a man can be provoked to beat his wife, like she is some piece of thing that he owns..
Can a woman be provoked to beat her husband?.

This is soo dangerous it's unreal

30+ said...

@Soul, If she followed him to the parking lot and he hit her maybe she said something that incited him but if he deliberately turned back to go and beat her then it is intentional (kind of premeditated versus self defence murder type.


Maybe what Diamond is asking is that the press or someone should make up their mind what happened.

Well whatever happened I think he should have JUST WALKED AWAY.



Soul said...

Again, I'll say this to you, if this woman was a man and had said something... Bishop Weeks would have said something back.

What you are doing in other words is saying that this man is justified in lashing out physically, because a woman might have said something horrible to him.
Again, this is the defence of abusers.
'She made me do it. If she had not said this.. I would not have hit her'.

the press has made up their mind what happened. They have asked witnesses. and queried the witness who had to pull this man off of her.
Lest we forget, this man stomped on her, kicked her on the floor and kept kicking her.

But people are quick to defend him because he is an alleged 'man of God'?

What happened to personal responsibility?. And this man had the audacity to actual step back into his church and receive a standing ovation???

Anybody who defends this outburst is no dofferent to those who turn a blind eye to women being beaten in their homes.

I have yet to see this 'altered'media text, I'm yet to see where or how things have been changed. the fact is this man fell short. His actions should be condemned. Instead, people are defending him by attempting to blame this on the person he beat up.

It is not just disheartenihng, it is criminal. This man kicked and stomped on a woman. Period.
A woman who was there to reconcile with him.
Whatever she said (if she said anything at all) has absolutely nothing to do with what he did.
And to use that as a defene is just beyond ... well beyond.

And how many preachers have used this opportunity to preach against domestiv violence in the black church?.
just one. Bishop Eddie Long.

Where's T.D. jakes? what's he got to say about domestic violence?

What is happening is more than disheartening?. It is astounding but expected.
I mean his congregation welcomed him back with applause!
Just wow.

Sherri said...

frankly, i'm not surprised or shocked but rather saddened by it all.
please don't be disheartened,it is
i hope all this show us to take our eyes off "man" and look unto our God only. this just proves that these so called men and women of God are mere mortals are therefore fallible and should not be worshipped.
the church is in shambles because most people do not really want to seek God but to seek other things (idolatry)
the bible is rife with numerous instances where prophet/king/annointed one depart/deviate from the will of God carrying their followers with them.

May God continue to help us all...

NaijaBloke said...

Like it has always been and will always be. The woman is always the victim.Have u ever heard in the news about a wife giving her husband a beatdown before ..Hell No!!! but it happens everyday.

Omo I don;t care what anybody say, anybody can be provoked to do anything.What is the difference between a man been provoked to beat his wife and a woman been provoked to stab her husband?She should have worked away too now..

Everybody is not the same and some people just don't have the ability to work away and it is called temper people.

Isi said...

you think there's a point where someone can snap?! oh my!!! under no circumstances should violence be tolerated in marriage. it is a grievious sin. if your wife hurts you, you can walk away, take a break if you like, but NEVER lay your hands on her (and this applies to women who beat up their husbands).
love your blog though. very colourful!