So after three recommendations... my friend BK, my sister Shay and my boyfriend Bob... I sorta psyched my cousin into giving me money and went out to get the movie I Think I Love My Wife starring Chris Rock (i just couldnt bring myself to use my own money for it)... and I was getting a bit peeved watching it... I missed the humor somewhere... I mean how can a guy be so stupid stupid stupid... okay... there was some humor there...I think I chuckled a couple of times but I was really mad at the characters Nikki and Richard....
But the movie got me thinking... about friendships. I know a couple of people who have best friends of the opposite sex... What becomes of that relationship when you get married. Is it appropriate to carry on as is?
I dont think so! And I dont think it has anything to do with insecurities either. Once I get married, I expect to become my husband's bestfriend and vice versa... I mean I would think we're sorta on that level before we become married anyways. He can have a "same sex" best friend... but one of the opposite sex? not allowed...
Okay... maybe there are some insecurities involved. I think there are underlying feelings with people that are best friends... especially of the opposite sex. Maybe Im wrong. I feel like it takes just one event.. maybe even one drink too many to shift the friendship into something else... and when you're married.. that is just hazardous. I mean Im all for being friendly... but naaah men... there must be a limit. Anyone watch the movie Brown Sugar? Yeah... bestfriends became bedfriends!!!
naaahhhh... u know what? I changed my mind again... isnt that the prerogative of a woman? There may be instances where insecurities do come in.. but for the most part.. .may be not... I think it's a matter of what's appropriate. And trust.. being the other woman... is sooooooooooo not fun... I mean imagine if you're accused of being the other woman when there's really no other woman... or worse... what if there is but it's not you... what is your defense... this applies to men as well... after all yall are so close and buddy buddy.. who's to say what's really really go on... or up? shhhhh or down.
With each level in life, you just have to learn to appreciate it. Some people complain about friends not keeping in touch after they get married... after they have kids... when they have a boyfriend... but I think we all need to realize that these are seasons in our lives.. no one season is the same... we've got fall, winter, spring and summer... (well Europeans just imagine that you had all four okay?) each with their pros and cons... so yes it kinda sucks that S* and I are no longer buddies.. but I understand that with a woman in his life... Im probably not the confidante he's looking for... and the few times we've talked... we dont flow like before. It sucks but I understand it and Im grateful for the years of our friendship... if he didnt exist back then, Im not so sure I'd be such a good driver now :-)
The movie ended on a good note... "Richard" stated you dont choose who you love... but you do decide how you love them... and that comes with understanding ways to express it in the different seasons... and staying away from opposite sex best friends type relationships... ya heard!!!!!!!! except one of them is gay or something... then it's totally fine
my favorite quote from the movie: **you can lose alot of money chasing women but you'll never lose women chasing money**
now I have to go figure out why the Man asked me If Id seen it... yes.. what was he thinking about...
anyways back to work... it's Monday already. I took some time off last week... for bereavement... right about now I wouldnt mind winning the lottery... so I can contribute to providing world peace.. why else?... but first I need to buy a ticket...
and Im bidding on something on ebay for the first time... gosh... I hope I win it... it's Marantha's Praise Band CDs 1 - 3. There's a very rare one done with Ebenezer Obey.. still looking for that one
Have a wonderful rest of your week :-)
p.s. i updated my "words to live by" blog if you're interested
*The story of S can be found here: part 1:He has a girlfriend, part 2: I havent met her yet, part 3: But I will
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