August 7, 2007

1 fight, 2 aunts and 3 phones

I had a fight with my mom recently... not good.
so i decided to call her today... I love her too much...
Something happened to my mom a couple of weeks ago... three sundays ago I believe.. Someone came into my mothers house and stole all her phones... plus her ID and stuff... it was in a little purse... We know who did it. I wasnt too happy cuz I just bought her one of those phones for her birthday and now its gone... worse.. the person who stole it doesnt know the true value of it and probably sold it for much less than it was worth... Anyways... We got thru that... no charges were filed or anything as this was a "family" issue... But I told my mom to let that person know he is no longer welcome to the house... my house... It hurt my mom... you know how it is when you lose something that you're attached to... all her contacts... gone.. 3 phones... gone... just like that... anyways it's all good... Life goes on... phones are just phones... not like your life was stolen from u...

That same week, I got to speak with one of my "aunt's"... Mama Nuru. She's not my aunt in the traditional sense of the word but this is the most appropriate term that I can find for her... She was speaking to me in Yoruba and I tried to respond. I've known Mama Nuru for years and years. Her daughter was a tailor and owned a shop beside my 2nd mother's shop in lagos... and somehow... someway we became close... her daughter was always saving scraps of material and helping me sew clothes for my dolls. Mama Nuru was a cook (abi caterer)... and she was a great one... I salivating right now just remembering the different dishes she would make... She got introduced to several other people through us... and I guess became part of the family. We knew all the children.. It was good... But anyways I spoke with her and then spoke to my mom and it was all good...

The following sunday, my mother sent me a text... my aunt was dead... no not mama nuru.... my real aunt... my mother's first sister... mama P... (interesting how everyone is named mama this and mama that)... I felt bad... We werent close but I could tell my mom was hurt and I hurt because she hurt... Had dealt with her phone the week before... most of her business contacts and all that gone... you know the emotions that come with losing something close to you... the following week now she lost her sister... I felt bad for my mom and wanted to console her...

Then we fought... I ended up telling her not to bother me anymore... I really wanted to hurt her... and I felt awful... I felt like by hurting her so she would listen to me... It was very wrong of me... So I didnt call her for like a week... And I typically call her every other day.. so today I chatted with my sister who encouraged me to leave it to God (easier to say than do... believe me)... so I grudgingly picked up the phone and called mama this morning...

I asked her about the burial plans.. and then she said something to me... about Mama Nuru... she's dead! WHAT? How could this be? I just spoke with her two weeks ago. This is the woman that was going to do the catering for my wedding... for my mom's birthday... I had it all planned in my head... I knew she was waiting for my day.. cuz she's one of the people that had watched me grow up...

My mom apologized to me... stated she didn't really want to tell me. Apparently on friday she'd been knocked down by an Okada driver.. bleeding from the head... bled to death... Another soul lost... and I wonder what became of the driver...

You dont know the time... you never know... This thought has been running through my mind. Im glad I was able to speak w/Mama Nuru before she passed away... sad that I wont get to see my aunt again.

Some people fear death. My friend BK said she's ready to go if the good Lord so wishes... I really admired that... how many people can say that... I realize now that you can really only live when you dont fear death (i actually had something more profound to say here but I cant quite remember it)... and a couple of years ago... I realized something about time... I realized that if I lost my loved ones, I didnt want to have any regrets.. and from that moment I started having better relationships... started learning how to deal with a variety of people... especially my immediate family. I learned that I dont have to like what they do to have a good relationship with them...

so i guess as you live, you learn what's important... objects (like the phones) can be replaced... relationships should be nourished and preserved

Hope you guys are having a wonderful week so far...

15 comments:

Ugo Daniels said...

Ain't momsies such sweet creatures...hmmmmmm. Lovely!

Moreover, death is as mysterious as nature itself :)

Viaduct said...

It is a n amazing thing that we do not know when we will run out of time....... from reading your blog, I now know why my mom takes crap from my aunts and uncs. The question we should all worry about is "Will you go to heaven?" I believe the answer will be among the pages of the bible.

Rinsola said...

Sorry 'bout your aunts' death. Time and death really does amaze me. How time goes by so fast, and how death just happens. I honestly can't say i'm scared of death as much as I'm scared of dying unfufilled. May God teach us the HOW TO's of life!.

Pink-satin said...

sorry about ur losses!pele dear!God will comfort your family and theirs!hope u and ur mom are fine now

londonnaijachic said...

sorry about your losses.Times like this truly reming of us our loved ones and how we should love and keep them close.

Belle said...

this post was deep... thanks for sharing the message.
sorry about your losses... God bless you and your family.

Onada said...

sorry to hear about your aunt diamond. May she rest in peace.

Jaycee said...

This post makes me value my intimate relationships (family and friends) a billion times more...my condolences to ur two losses Diamond, God is in control...

Thanks for teaching me a priceless lesson dear...TTYL...

Uzo said...

Oh dear...I am so sorry about your losses. This concept of tomorrow not being promised anyone we just have to embrace. And for that reason, whatever you and your mom fought about, shrug it off and forge ahead....

Tomorrow isnt promised to anyone

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

I pray the Lord will continue to comfort both you and your mum, and the families who have lost a loved one.

I really am glad of how far the Lord has brought me from the gutter He picked me up from, but one thing I do fear is returning to Him with an empty hand. To value those he brings my way and continue to encourage and inspire them of the Goodness of God.

Stay well and highly favoured. I want to call you today. In fact I will. Expect my call.

Nilla said...

Sorry about your loss.

How are you doing?

Have a wonderful weekend!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

WOWOWOWOWOWOWO - i LURVEEEEEEE YOUR NEW TEMPLATE...

tres fab.. NICE, love everything, erm.. can you do a makover of mine. Please, pretty please, desperate please!!

Diamond Hawk said...

hey yall... just wanted to say a big THANK YOU

:-)

30+ said...

Sorry about your loss.

You have a a very lovely blog and I am so digging the song, it's an old time favourite, in fact oldies are besties

Oracle said...

it's sad.
I guess this is the reason we have to be careful with the way we treat our loves ones.
Coz your last words in the world might be angry ones