you can read the first part to this, She said, HERE
So I finally met her. We'd been talking for almost a year now, I really cant believe it was that long, but I must confess she was worth every phone call. The bond we shared was... is intense yet pure, a yearning for intimate bliss, but I digress; you would think this concept was unflawed with her dozing off gently while we ruminated over any and everything. On countless occasions I could sense a yearning for her to linger on but she trusted my unspoken emotions enough to fall asleep while we talked. She had once told me that my voice was ever so soothing; she sounded so peaceful even in sleep and all I wanted to do was care for her.
Atlanta, I love this city. Did I mention she lives here, and that I was in town for a conference for a few days? They say Ambivalence is a two sided coin, but I doubt that was my current state of mind. We had never really discussed meeting, I'd never really brought it up because I sensed a slight ting of apprehension a few times while we talked; she hadn't said it in so many words but I knew it had to do with her inability to trust again, only if I could get her to trust again.
I'd been trying to piece together the perfect meeting scenario or at least how I hoped it would play out, I had recounted to myself several times what I’d say when we see each other for the first time - "Hey! How are you doing, I couldn't leave town without a good bye and a daily dose of my medicine; that beautiful voice of yours". Nah!! That was corny! Why was this so difficult! However, the thought of how she may see the chance meeting shattered my resolve. I was conflicted, but I needed to see her.
And so it was on that auspicious night that I had damned all caution. I had to make a physical connection, and what better way to cement and bring our unspoken bond to fruition... this had to be done! I found her place, very nice house indeed, and proceeded to park my rental. It was a little past 9pm, there seemed to be no activity within the house, all the lights were out, is she awake? This is a really bad idea, talk about bad timing, I thought. Thoughts racing, I recollect myself, I pick up my cell, her number is on speed dial, it'd almost become a reflex action, I pushed the button and hear the dial tone, mere seconds seem like ages, chest is throbbing, I am perspiring, its only 50deg out, thoughts still racing, what is she going to ...
She picks up - "hello"...
"Hey D!" I blurt out,
Stay calm, I tell myself, there is a brief pause; I've got to say something -
"I know we never discussed meeting but do you mind if we met?"
Not as I'd planned but there Id said it. I could sense her hesitation, she replied, voice ever so soft -
"You really want to meet me?"
I could sense her uncertainty, I had to reassure her, the yearning to care for her became overwhelming and I laughed, and I suddenly felt silly for worrying.
Half way through my musing she says - "You know I hate it when you laugh like that?"
A little more relaxed and confident now I reply - "Awwww babe. Come on. It's not like that, "I just don't want to miss out on this opportunity"
Only if she knew!
Lights came on, I think she was peering; I tried to reassure her,
"I've come all this way to turn back now, trust me all I want to do is meet you"
She responds - "I don't think meeting is a good idea. I'm sorry."
But ... She cuts me off - "Let me call you back in like three minutes"
Without so much of a response from me she hung up. Now I was really confused; did I do something wrong, I knew I should have discussed this with her instead of dropping in on her like that, what was I thinking???!!!!
She did say she'd call back in 3 minutes, Lord, I was hoping she would call back. I didnt want to end up looking the fool!
7 minutes went by, I stepped out the car, I felt suffocated, cold bites were seeping through the pores of my skin, the house was in full view now, was she looking? I wondered what she was doing, why was I here? I thought to myself, well I hope she's looking, at least one of us gets the privilege. Dejected but resolved I reached for my car door, at least I tried, I was not dressed for this weather.
I embraced the warmth in the vehicle, reached for the car keys, turned the ignition, the car purred to life. I looked back at the house, hoping by the merest feasible inkling that my phone would start ringing. I started to count down, silly I know but I was becoming desperate, 10, 9... call me, you can't leave me here hanging 6, 5... come on D, the least you can do is come out and say hello, 2, 1...
I revved the car a little and just as I was about to set the car in motion, I hear a sudden thud, I jumped instinctively, half swearing, I look around frantically and then stared into my rear view mirror and there she was.
I stepped out of the car, my initial emotion that of anger, I felt ridiculed, and just as I was about to express my disappointment, she began to cry, and that one moment redefined the reason why I was here altogether.I felt my frustration melt away from me, it all began to make sense, I instinctively reached for her embracing her in a hug. She held on tightly shaking from her sobbing, and we just stood there oblivious to everything else.
D... this song is dedicated to you...