March 7, 2007

In Court

Where we are: IN COURT

PLAINTIFF(Mr.Johnson): YOUNG BLACK STUDENT. AVERAGE HEIGHT. AVERAGE BUILD. AVERAGE LOOK. BRAIDS IN HAIR. ORANGE T-SHIRT

DEFENDANT: WHITE MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, STORE OWNER. HAIR IN PONY TAIL. SHORT.

The plaintiff brought the defendant to court for compensation on what he claimed to be a case of false arrest...also misidentification...blah blah blah...wants his criminal record expunged

The Judge now has to decide who's telling the truth.

*********************************************************

THE DEFENDANT: Your honor, I saw him come into my store, he shopped for a little bit and then all of a sudden he took off running with stuff under his shirt. So I called the police and identified who he was and that's that

THE PLAINTIFF: Your honor, Ive never been to this woman's store before. It's a case of mistaken identity. I was across the street visiting my cousin and all of a sudden the cops arrest me. I spent 30days in jail and have a criminal record now which is affecting my ability to get into grad school

THE DEFENDANT: Your honor, he's lying. It was him. I saw him with my own two eyes and even in the RollUp I identified him... in court I identified him. As a matter of fact your honor, I do believe it's the same Orange shirt he had on that day. His hair is braided down the same way it was that day

THE PLAINTIFF: Your honor, Im just a student, trying to make my way. Ive never even met this lady before and never been to her store. Im not even sure what she sells in that store. I was visiting my cousin across the street. This so so messed up.

JUDGE: Are you sure Ms.Plaintiff that this is the guy you saw on that day. It would be terrible to make an error

THE PLAINTIFF: Your honor Im very sure it was him...look at his hair...your honor Im telling you this is the same look he had that day. I cant believe he's coming here trying to lie his way out of this situation

JUDGE: I will be back with my decision


This is the EXACT scenario. Sure the words may not be verbatim...but it pretty much tells the story of what happened in court the other day. How's the Judge to decide who's telling the truth. Are we going to play the race card here? You can imagine the guy...really just an average looking guy...he had the "rap image" thing going... should we really believe him? and the woman...the ONLY witness. She confirmed it. It was her store...it was him. She saw him. Do we believe her?

I wondered what the Judge would do. Little did I know that this particular judge...would do something... infact... The judge... white handsome looking guy...tall...talks with a hint of a southern accent... might have something flavored in his background...like italian... or somn....his ruling ASTOUNDED me...

will be back later to share

********************
UPDATE
3.9.07
please NOTE (snazzy & co): that I concluded this in the comment section like 10mins after I posted du2 being at work o and not cheap theatrics as Snazzy has accused me of...and i wanted to give ppl the opportunity to think of the possibilities as well...
EVERYONE GO AND GET HIM FOR ME...yeye...lol
accusing a whole Diamond...imagine
:-)

34 comments:

LondonBuki said...

Hi... I really want to know what the judge said.

Don't waste time o! LOL!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

okay...the judge came back with his ruling. Here's what he said...

"Ms Defendant. Before I left to make my decision I asked you if you were sure that it was the Plaintiff and you said yes. I asked you several times. So I now had to take your testimony and his and decide who was telling the truth"

ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE WAS A PAUSE.

then the judge said


"Mr. Johnson, please stand up"
***************************

Mr. Johnson stood up....BEHIND THE DEFENDANT.

sooooooooo.....did you get it?


the Plaintiff ALL THE WHILE was a Stand In...it wasnt the actual guy...yet the woman looked him up and down and SWORE that it was him. Infact...the actual Mr. Johnson was much taller than the plaintiff...he was a black handsome brother...athletic build...i mean brother was smooovvveeeeee looking and he had been sitting BEHIND the Defendant ALL THE WHILE...

*************************
this is a TRUE story.

The judge said that to deal with this case...he decided to put a stand-in for the actual person and see what the woman would say still...

so Thank God for God...Thank God for a smart thinking Judge as well...his criminal record will be expunged and the woman will have to allow him $100 worth of groceries in her store every month for the next year as restitution

LondonBuki said...

OMG!!! Are you serious! Don't mean to sound like a weirdo but as I was reading it, I got goosebumps, I was so happy... LOL!!!

Thank God o! So all black people look the same to her?!!! Nonsense

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

wow - so this still happens - I know it probably does - but I would rather believe it doesn't o well. Old lady huh - Thank God for favours.

diamond said...

ppl were asking her the same thing o... that do all black ppl look alike to her... the guy didnt even have any braids or anything...the only they the two guys had in common was the color of their skin!!!

Anonymous said...

Ah Ah Diamond...did you really have to break this gist.Now you'll have me running back. I get work oh!!!Take ya time.

Anonymous said...

Sorry oh...I just read the comments and got the full gist. He he he. Too funny. This judge na King Solomon Pikin. See wisdom!!. I'm really impressed. Nice one

Omodudu said...

waiting

NaijaBloke said...

I think it has gotten to a stage in America where they have to really test for common sense and IQ if u are to be elected to be a Judge now cos most of the laws are so crazy that atimes u have to use ur common sense to provide Judgement.

PS: Can anyone please tell me why that judge was crying while delivering his judgement on Anna Nicole's burial thingy cos I still don't get that part or was that a kinda reality show thingy.

Jaycee said...

lolllll...I just loved the end-result. I know most times cops arrest black dudes who fit the stereotypes of 'criminals,' and sometimes just because their black males with braided hair and found in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I'm really happy that the judge used wisdom in this case...lol....even if its the funniest thing I've heard all day...lollll...

Jaycee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vera Ezimora said...

Diamond, u don kolo finish. Where is the rest of the story?!?!

Don't waste my time o! Post it immediately!

Calabar Gal said...

That was quite wise of the judge. Even me sometimes, most white people look alike to me.

@NaijaBloke: I was perturbed myself. Goodness knows why he was crying unless he was mourning the loss of dividends as a 'shareholder' in Anna Nicole.

bimbylads said...

diamond are u serious? in this day and age? see me talking like mugu.. i know it still happens but i am in denail.. thats just crap.. foolish woman

LondonBuki said...

Diamond I just changed the template for my 'From Red 2 Black Blog'... I'm gonna need your help to change the header... PLEASE... I'll email you tonight.

I hope you feel much much better today.

Enjoy your day.

x

diamond said...

cool...we're actually using the same template...so that will be no problem to modify it

LondonBuki said...

Thank you... so far I have changed the colour to green.

I'd have liked to change my main blog's template but I am so scared I will mess it up... and I am attached to it.

Anyway, I don't want to turn your comment section to 'blogger messenger' so we'll chat later.

Uzo said...

Loving this...Its a little sad though..but so cool....

zioner said...

my card ran out at TERC. just wanted to say thanks for the words of exhortation. will never plan to miss TERC, have a blessed one. till next friday!

snazzy said...

it's clear that people don't really read the other comments, cos there were quite a few commenters who were asking you to finish? Though hawk lady it is kind of sad that you had to resort to cheap theatrics. Tres disappointed. Nice story though.

LondonBuki said...

BooHoo!! It didn't work!

I copied your code and Previewed... your header showed!

I put in the URL of mine, it did not show!

I don't gerrit! It seems sop traight forward, the problem is the URL cos when I try to upload the image again and insert the URL (for a post) it doesn't work either.

Do you think it's got sumink to do with the size of the pic?
Thank you and I hope you're done with your hurr.

P.S. U called me a blog stalker? You'll see!

ChiefO said...

hey diamond. sorry about my MIA moves. no be my fault. anyways it good to be back though

Biodun said...

I am loving ur avator girl! I figured it had 2 b someone else crazy people that think all black folks look alike.

Biodun said...

Men ur wrong girl, I actually thought u finally ahd ur crush's link up n all ehn, lol.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

LOL @ Biodun... keep clicking...maybe ONE DAY ONE DAY EHN

DiAmOnD hawk said...

ACTUALLY SNAZZY.... never mind

and LB...i'll see you on your blog soon

ChiefO welcome back. It's all good. hope all is well

Zioner it was nice to have you join us...if you like I can call u and link you up next time k?

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Diamond Diamond - anyways I just came to say your name. LOL.

zioner said...

thanks a bunch, will definitely appreciate that! gee, i almost didn't sleep cos i didn't want to miss it. pls how can i send u my number?

diamond said...

Zioner...im assuming you're in america/canada right?

email me sha.. diamondhawk1@gmail.com

@Life..i know you love my name...infact...i have come up with a little jingle for it
DEE EYE AAA EMM OOHHH ENNN DEEE
SAY DIAMOND O O
SAY DIAMOND

lol
u have to HEAR me say it!!!!

Naijadude said...

Ah! Omg! I cant just believe that, you know before reading the comments I kinda felt strongly about that, that the judge was just trying to prove to the woman she thinks all black ppl are the same!
Nice judgement there!

Hey - Diamond, when is TERC?? I dont know oo and how do I link in?

DiAmOnD hawk said...

hey Bachelor of the Year :-)
yeah I was hoping you'd join us for TERC...
but it's on fridays...
i'll be sure to remind you and give you the details before the next meeting!!!

Vera Ezimora said...

Oops, I guess I didn't read the comments for the resta the story. Interesting!!! Smart judge!

Nyemoni said...

The woman is what I call 1 word - ODE!!

UnNaked Soul said...

smart judge... nice one