February 11, 2007

NaijaBlogger Bachelorette - Episode 5 - The reveal - Special guest artist

hey yall...this is a late episode...sorry about that. I promised you guys a special guest artist and I had to deliver o. My PR people were chasing this guy down...anyways we finally caught up with him as you can hear....



go ahead and scratch it off.....you know you've been waiting!!!



anyways this is the final episode where all the bachelors will be together. Bachelor #9 is MIA. And be careful who you vote for...cuz the Bachelors may just NOT be retaining their original #s.... We've got our very own Omodudu again giving us his opinions and we've added a feminine voice to this as well...she's going to analyze the guy from a female perspective....


Bachelorette question 5: If you were a car, what kind would you be and would you be a 5-speed or automatic?


Bachelor 1: A hybrid (whatever that means). Sometimes I like to go smoothly, othertimes I prefer the rugged approach.

[Omodudu says...Forward looking, very thoughtful answer]

[SHE says... Rugged approach? Hmmm, say what…? That’s a turn off o. This one sounds like a correct smooth operator (read: playa), a fast pretender that’s not ready for commitment anytime soon.]

Bachelor 2: I'll be a Maserati Quattroporte – A perfect blend of style, performance, emotion and business. I'll be a 5 speed – other than its fuel efficiency, the 5 speed offers the driver more direct involvement and wayyyy better performance.

[Omodudu says... My vote is for Bachelor 2, all that horse-power.]

[SHE says... Hmmm, this one got me thinking a lil’ bit. Now which girl doesn’t want a guy with style, performance, a heart of gold (not a cry, cry baby o) who can handle his own territory? I’m liking this one o. Definitely a mature one, who has been thru the ups and downs of life.]

[Diamond says... loving the direct involvement..loving the uniqueness of your choice]

Bachelor 3: If i were given a choice to be a car, i'd prefer to come as a mercedez benz M class jeep. now you must have guessed that's my favorite car. i love the car, its classy.

[Omodudu says... Mercedes will tow the line, not an independent, chances are not very artistic either.]

[SHE says... Can somebody shout P-L-A-Y-A. Another playa in the house that is all about the looks. It’s classy abi? Sit down there o, don’t u know some Domitillas on Allen Avenue have class too? ]

Bachelor 4: If I were a car, I'd be a BENZ or a BUICK! It has prestige and prosperity subtly written all over it. Gives ppl something to smile about. and yeah I'd be a 5-speed, human are not meant to operate in an automatic world. Life itself is not fair, throws different punches at different times, then you'd adjust to the speed that it comes at you.

[Omodudu says... Another Mercedes benz person, conformist]

[SHE says... Mehn! U hit the nail on the head. This is another mature mind that has seen life. Those cars do have prestige and prosperity written over ‘em to some degree. Then again, u have to sit back to see the not so pleasant things they’ve (previous models) been thru to be as refined as they are. We’re not wired as robots, u’ve gotta be flexible at times and deal with each person as they come. This one sounds like a Mr. Efiko that’s a critical thinker. Bros, shey if the bachelorette chooses u, u won’t be blowing grammar all day in her ears o?]

Bachelor 5: i'd be a bright red ferrari F430, a thoroughbred sports car that would appeal to men and women alike. dripping sexiness and desirability, the men would want to own me, because the women would find me totally irresistible. i'd be a guaranteed pantie-dropper. ferraris have a mystique that draws people in, even people who know nothing about cars think they are beautiful. they turn men and women on, and thats why the most successful people own one at some point. they exist at the point where mechanical engineering, passion and human lust converge. they are fast and powerful, and rare, because they cost so much that the average person could only ever dream of owning one. that would be me then, exotic and sexy. i'd have the F1 gearbox, with paddles behind the steering wheel, like the most exotic racing cars, because manuals are just not special enough.

[Omodudu says...Independent, showy, paddle gear box oh my oh my, you don win o.]

[SHE says... This one sounds conceited o! Chei! Blowing his own trumpet. You know what they say about empty vessels? Hmmm… Nuff said! ]

[Diamond says.... Ah! O ga ju!!!]

Bachelor 6: A BMW. Automatic with tiptronic. It's sexy (both femine and masculine in one) and its got speed and class

[Omodudu says... If I were a woman, I'd date a BMW driving guy, has taste, sense of style and form is on point]

[SHE says... Too short, maybe he's tryna hide his wild side or he's just too "shy"]

Bachelor 7: If I were a car,I will definately be a sedan,a BMW 550i cos the car oozes confidence and it does not look domineering like its older brother the 750i or the 760Li.I will definately be a 5-speed manual car cos I always want to downshift,slow down and take a step back at my own pace when things seems to be going too fast,confusing and overwhelming to analyse the situation.

[Omodudu says... Nice, I am all for a guy that goes with BMW, luxurious yet understated. #7 is most likely artistic, and well dressed too. ]

[SHE says... Okay, this one’s definitely got what it takes to woo and keep the bachelorette. Say wetin happen? This bros don ready to settle down o, doesn’t have time for games anymore. He’s been there, done it all and knows it’s not all about the gra gra (fronting) and cockroaches in ur tummy (feelings). A deep thinker for shizzle.]

[Diamond says...WOW!!! Very impressed...especially since Im inlove love love with the BMW family]

Bachelor 8: If I ever came as a car, I would definitely jump into the Mercedes family. The G-class metallic jeep automatic with cruise control is like butter on hot bread. The feeling can't be fully expressed except you experience it. Ever tried it in bumps, pot-holes, bends or ditches? Fo'Shizzle My Nizzle, it's off da shizzles!! It's smooth sailing all the way...

[Omodudu says... Another Mercedes answer, in crowd kind of person]

[SHE says... Pray this bachelor doesn’t cruise u to … My friend, don’t u know wooing and keeping the bachelorette is not smooth-sailing. It’s not a bed of roses o, so abeg step back small, no gra gra here. But for real, this bobo sounds like a romantic. And they say Naija men aren’t romantic, eh]

Bachelor 9: [ MIA ] we dont know where he's run off to o...
[SHE says... Looks like our bachelor don chicken out. The heat oozing from the bachelorette was too hot for him to handle, hehehe ]

OMODUDU'S RATINGS SO FAR: 6, 7, 2, 5, 1, 8, 3, 4 in that order. Have I made enough enemies yet... do yall agree?





Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

YAY!!! I'm first. Will be back

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Oya, my choices are 7, 2, 4 and 6. Girl, u did an excellent job. For real, this efizzy na real wa o. U deserve a pat on the back.

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Where are you blogsville people sef? Letting me steal the show like this. Who's complaining sha? Shuu!!! Abeg. lemme shine jare. GO CHERUB! GO CHERUB!! GO CHERUB!!! Oya my name na Chi chi chikito #1 (lol)

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Nne what is ya name? My name is Chi chi chilolo African chikito #1 oya, y'all need to see how i'm digging it here. I'm loving this song o.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

you don crase finish Cherub!!!

Jaycee said...

lollll @ you and eldee...D-I-A-M-O-N-D-D-D-D-D-D!!!!!! Ha ha ha ha....I'm seriously rolling on my bed and writhing with laughter (and pain at the middle of my tummy)...U'VE GONE KOLO this time...


(I already put my vote on the voting grid...settled on bachelor #2)...

My commentary (just for laughs):
Bachelor #3 just seemed like he's NOT the spontaneous type...bachelorette, u need a spontaneous guy o...someone that can woo u and leave u breathless (lol, cracking myself up)...

Plsss...bachelor #5 was cool, but really kinda overdoing it jo...again, omodudu...I think this is ur "too many adjectives" dude that has been switched to this number...

Bachelors 2, 4, 5, & 8 shd proceed to the next level (in my own loving discretion)...

Nilla said...

lol @ the efizzy.

Ok I can't really make up my mind....all this talk about cars...

How many people can we vote for and how many times, Cos I'm thinking of #1, #2 and #5?
I eliminated all the benz and bmw people.

Nilla said...

I voted once for #2.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Diamond has finished today - Infact - I dont know what else to do - you are a killer - great naija accent.

Yeah mogbe.. Im still laughing. Oya I need to vote.

TaureanMinx said...

I guessed the bachelorette right lol! YAY!

uzo said...

LOL. This is going so well. Its interesting what the people think....

LondonBuki said...

I Knew it was Uzo! :-)

This question sef! I started reading the answers and NONE of them impressed me! LOL!!!

londonnaijachic said...

this is so much fun and am rooting for bachelor 4 all the way

diamond said...

lol...londonbuki...how far with the questions now...oya...email me what question you'd like them to answer...IM WAITING O...tried adding u to yahoo msngr...

Shay said...

okay. i'm not a merc kinda girl. BMW definitely wins out. the understated luxuriousness (as someone else mentioned) and the evident sophistication does it for me. so, based on these facts and also the way the questions were answered, i'd vote for bachelors 7, 2, 4,6....and bachelor #1 with his hybrid car is endearing so i vote for him too :)

btw, your little recording with eLDee was very funny. lovely ;)

diamond said...

yeah Shay...i agree with all you've said. you might be hearing a little more from us in the near future....so keep your ears open

temmy tayo said...

Why did Cherub leave comments 4 times


Diamond, i like your helooo

LondonBuki said...

Diamond, sorry just seeing this. I cannot 'shat' on messenger on this client site oh! Can you believe that? Can't even check my email?

Vera Ezimora said...

I knew Uzo was the bachelorette. After she waited in vain for a blogger man... and all the male bloggers could do was get pop corn, I knew she had to be the bachelorette. At least, this way, she will get a man by force by force LOL

I like that chikito song...it's my best song from Eldee. I already have the new album

But I'm definitely feeling 2Face. I love him!! What's the name of his new album sef? I need 2 get it, and I want the original copy too.

Omodudu said...

No single picture of the bachelorette, hmm me I do not know about that one o. What if INEC pulls a switcheroo on the bachelors. By the way, five voting boxes were found in Nilla house. EFCC should arrest bijou, hyperactivity.

Flirtygucci said...

Maserati Quattroporte all d wayyyyy. bachelor #2

Bella Naija said...

ummmmm... for this round Bachelors 2 and 5

Bachelors 3 and 8.. mercedez benz M class 'jeep' and The G-class metallic 'jeep' automatic with cruise control - how naija typical

fyi - eldee is too funny...u too diamond...u crazy girl

Nilla said...

@ Omodudu

@ Diamond
When's the next episode?

Vera Ezimora said...

Me sha, I agree with Omodudu o! Which kin voting system be this sef? We no see bachelorette; we no see bachelor sef. Ah ah, wetin sef!

And this one that the voting box abi kini is in Nilla's house, I demand that INEC considers these votes null & void!

Do the bachelors even know whose love they're competing 4? this is BLIND BACHELORETTE!


Nilla said...

Vera you're cracking me up...lol

Any INEC box that's found in my house was left there by Vera and Omodudu...lol

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

I've been itching to post another comment since, but didn't want u bloNGsville peeps to be on my case. Yeah right! Like i care abi?

@Omodudu: let me catch u there o, me hyperactive shey?

@ Vera: As for u keep on objecting, na u sabi. Yeye gal, u think they made all the blogsville men for u and u only? Nonsense.

@Temmy: Egbon mi, why won't i comment 4 times, infact this is the 5th time sef. No yawa now, i'm just being a happy bunny.

LondonBuki said...

Diamond!! You are hilarious! Just heard your playlist this morning at home! Too funny!

Can't listen to it at work...

If the Bachelorette has to put up her pic, then the final 5 bachelors have to do the same!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lol.. u sound so cute... as does eldee although i don't know jack about the dude... i'm gonna go and read the questions/answers and put up my comments

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

bachelor 2,4

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

uzo is the cutest!!!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Life of a Stranger called me said...

ok diamond - when are we going to be moving on to 5 contestants stage.

Dear D when are we moving on to the next stage of the NaijaBlogger Bachelorette.

Soul said...

the car answers are kinda all predictablen with the exception of Number 1..

This is not an insult to anybody, it's just the way I see it..
The BMW, Mercedes, Ferrari, maserati and all those answers are fine....
but they are not very practical. they are more show than functional.
It's like they look good on the outside but can they get the job done?

Maserati or ferrari will perform well outdoors but stick it in traffic and it's just a useless, gas guzzling beast, looks good but costs too much to run. Yes they have nice curves, but all in the wrong places.
Good for one thing, showing off and driving on that famous german freeway which has no speedlimit. Aside from that, I'm afriad it's just overpriced crap that requires a lot more maintanance than it is worth.

Very nice engineering, built well although they are now starting to slack.. something about this just screams too un-original.. it's the default nouveau riche toy.
Either that or the I'm an old todger now move back watch whilst I cruise along, sleek yes.. oh yes.. practical.. most definitely but boring as fuck!.

Ahh now some more practical decent engineering, this car will run. Does well in slow traffic, does well off road.. the person who drives this one likes to juggle things and is on the move.
It indicates, an ultimate toy boy car.. it's easy it's nippy. But nothing really magnificent about it.
It's like the younger version of the mercedes.. as a matter of faactI'd hazard at a guess and say as the BMW driver gets older he swaps straight for a mercedes.

Which leaves the
ahh I think you missed the subtleness of this.
This guy is practical! A hybrid function not just on petrol but also on elecricity.. this guy is cutting edge..
He is not ashamed to say.. look money is tight today but let's find a way to have fun..
This guy soundas like the Naija dude who knows what the heck you are talking about when you say.. baby.. you fancy listening to some 'stone temple pilots'.
He can actually sing along to Nirvana';s 'nevermind'.
He's the guy who wouldn't give a toss that the rest of his friends are playing or pretending to be 'big boys' and laughing at him cos his not driving part of the 'symbol cars'.
He is also the guy who will never come to you and say.. look baby... I know I told you my name was Uche, but actually it's Clementine and the 'po-po' is looking for me.
He's the guy who would not be payign for dinner with 'Mr. Chung's credit card'.

This guy likes adventure.
this guy would make love to you till you weep and then fuck you like an animal.
this guy is adaptable, niot pretentuous and I'd hazard at a guess and say you can count on him to do what he says or at least to try.

There is no shame in his game.. he tells you like it is..
he goes smoothly sometimes.. i.e a gentle man, stduios, homebody, easy going, dependable..
prefers the rugged approach at other times i.e. wild, free.. let's go sky diving, park the car ont eh hard shoulder of the motor way and let's fuck like rabbits, turns up at your door at 2am on a Thursday to take you for a drive..
Decides to paint your sitting room as a surprise present.

I dunno who this guy is.. and I could be way off.. but that's the impression I get from the response.

Uzo said...

Trust Soul to break it down. I actually got a little bit of that from that response as well. Are we way off though?

DiAmOnD hawk said...

interestingly enough i wanted to ask soul to do an analysis as well but i didnt know if she'd agree...she doesnt do meme's so i figured..maybe not...all i had to do was ask abi...

ehen so bachelorette...you're not feeling them?

Soul said...

this meme thing will not kill me o.
Anyway, yep.. all ya had to do was ask. :)

Angela said...

Bachelor 5's choice of cars suggests "gay (or Downlow sha) selfish player". Bachelor 7 seems to have it together and trust me this is coming from a babe that really knows a lot about cars inside out..trust me bachelor 5 knows what he is talking about. MAsserati ko, fuji merenge ni!LOL...like soul said, that aint even practical!