October 29, 2006

and yet another

....plane crash
what is going on
can someone tell me please

read story so far HERE

October 26, 2006

The one thing we all have in common in this life is sex.
lack of....too much of...think about it...sex is pretty much universal
a unifying act/thought
I wonder why aunty told L to get her a Dildo
aunty is like over 50, visiting from Nigeria
said that she got her friend a Dildo and it broke after a month or so
and that ish cost like $100
now I wonder if this is cheap for one...or expensive
she didnt want to bring it back to return it
can you return a Dildo.
Even if it broke, I dont know if they would accept it back
It just seems soooo nasty
and wow...50 year olds be getting their groove on
there's like a whole secret world of adult nigerians that im just now getting
a glimpse of
i wonder what else they do
i cant imagine seeing this prim and proper aunty in church
with the latest everything on
and wonder how she is when the doors are closed
she probably has a maid
is her room soundproof?
just how often does she use it
and why are you buying your friend such
hmmmm...the puritan in me
innocent me....
why do i think such things

October 24, 2006

A couple of updates

Okay. I know things on my blog have been a bit on the downside...this thing called life eh?
But can I just say all of you are wonderful. Every. Single. One. Of. You. The outpour of love from you guys amazed me. October has been an interesting month. I thank God for everything all the same. Life thank you so much for those verses....you really have no idea how much that helped me. To my BlogBud..thank you for spending nights with me and making me laugh. :-) . There's a whole world under this BlogWorld you guys...it's soooo... interesting...the way we all connect with eachother in reality. Hmmmmmn...LOL

Anyways...all of you wondering what I got from my aunt and uncle....here it is

so I got a VictoriaSecret Lotion set. Not bad actually. I only use the Amber Romance. Anyone want the rest? I'll mail it to you seriously! And of course I got a shower gel set...it wouldnt have been complete without that you know. It came with the little sponges. I put it next to a regular sized pouf so you guys could see how small it is. Anyways Life...you said you like stuff like this right? If you send me your add, I promise you will get this by the beginning of November

And my other aunt said she gave my gift to her friend so she will be sure to get me another gift. Hmmmmmmm. Do I smell a lie? Why would you get a gift and then give it to someone else...all within the same week. Suspicious right? I should have queried her and asked what it was exactly she got me. But I dont like to put people on the spot where they get trapped in their lie. She probably woulda set it was a surprise...anyways whatever

I met S's girlfriend. You guys didnt even ask me how far with that. I was actually trying to avoid seeing them. For some reason, the whole weekend he was here our schedules didnt mesh. I told him I would see him next time he came and He said No. That he would come late if necessary. So they came. And she's a cool chick. I like her. She's young...younger than me. so so innocent. We flowed pretty well cuz she's a bit like me or rather reminds me of myself when I was younger. I still dont think they match...but then again like I said before I just dont see him with anyone. They went thru all my photo albums and I felt a bit weird cuz I have lots and lots of pictures of him and all our friends and I was hoping she wouldnt feel insecure about that as we both reminisced about certain pictures. I wish them the best.

okay yall. I'll be back later with a real post
gotta get ready for work

October 19, 2006

Jeff Igbineweka

I got a call earlier today. It was my sister. I was wondering why she was calling me. She KNOWS Im at work. She left me a message so I quickly checked it to see what's up. She said "I have something to tell you call me back"

If anyone leaves you a message like that chances are the news isnt good

It wasnt

My heart began to beat real fast as I punched in her numbers. Called her at home. Voicemail. Called her mobile.

Hey Babe. What's up

"Do you have some time?"

in my mind Im like I hope she's not the one they've sent me to tell me my Dad is gone or something cuz I just know I cant handle that right now

Tell what's up

"Jeff is dead...homicide"

Im sorry?

"Jeff. from boston. in Hyde Park"


why would anyone kill Jeff

I remember the day we met Jeff. I think it was thursday sis...remember that day. T said he was coming to take us to the ice rink. I thought I would see Michelle Kwan and all the ice skating greats. We got on the Orange Line and we met Jeff. He was wearing a hat. Do you remember that hat? and T was trying to push him onto us. We were like "No oh...we dont want any bush boy"...lol. Jeff was a recent immigrant

Turns out it was a free ice skating party for everyone. T had duped us..unknowingly. Remember that night sis

I saw him once on the bus soon after we met him. I hid from him. I didnt want to be bothered...It was after school. Did I ever tell you that. He was just a scrawny kid. Well I guess not a kid...he was older but he was so lanky...

I left Boston and came back months later and I fell in love (in lust) with Jeff. He was mouth watering delicious now. America is amazing - from scrawny to hunk in a few months. I was smitten. He had this ring that I claimed...put it right on my finger. He was beautiful to look at. I wanted to be his woman back then. I remember talking to him about being under the mistletoe...lol...he didnt understand what I meant back then.

Each time I would go back to BeanTown...I would use style to ask about him...seek him out. He was just lovely. I just liked having him around. He was beautiful

It really hurt me hear that my friend had died at the hands of another
He was only 28 years old. I took some time off to cry.
Ive cursed his killer uncountable times
How dare he do this to my friend

Stabbed. To Death. by Girlfriend's ex.
in Hyde Park. On the very street Ive gone back and forth on uncountable times

ive been giving myself a pep talk for the past couple of days. certain things happening. got me paranoid. wondering when my time is. Approaching a year of my cousin's death.4moredays. been telling myself I need to embrace death. It will come when it's time. No need to be scared right?

my prayer: I shall live and not die in Jesus' Name. I shall live to see my children's children by God's Grace. Amen.

Jeff...hope you're smiling from heaven
im sorry you died like that jeff
im really sorry
i wish i could breathe life into you again
i wish you could laugh with me again
i wish i could see you just one. more. time
im so sorry
Dear God
im so sorry Jeff


A man stabbed to death Thursday inside a D’Angelo’s Sandwich Shop on Hyde Park Avenue in what police sources indicate was likely a dispute over a woman has been identified.

Police said the dead man is Jeff Igbineweka, 28, of Roslindale.

Igbineweka was inside the shop when he got into an argument with Haussan L. Harris, 32, of Brockton near the potato chip rack, officials said. Igbineweka, whom witnesses described as a large, muscular man, was stabbed multiple times and ran about 100 yards to a pizza shop near the Hyde Park police precinct.

Igbineweka collapsed in the small dining room there and was taken to Brigham and Women’s Hospital, where he was pronounced dead, police said.

Police are seeking Harris, who is described as a black male with a light complexion and close-cropped hair. He stands 5-foot, 9-inches high and weighs 220 pounds. He was last seen in a black or dark purple Mercedes-Benz.

October 18, 2006

FOUR (a meme)


1. Cashier at a Coffee House/McDonalds
2. Personal Assistant, FIFA
3. Radio Personality
4. Pharm Tech

1. being paid just because... *oh you're here? here's a thousand for the hour*

1. Sweet Home Alabama
2. Bridget Jones' Diary
3. Memoirs of a Geisha
4. The Saint (Val Kilmer)

1. KJA
2. LA
3. Boston
4. Atlanta

1. CSI (original)
2. Desperate Housewives
3. American Idol / Next Top Model (when they roll around)
4. Cartoons (Jimmy Neutron & Fairly Godparents)

1. Abuja
2. London
3. Different states in the Union
4. Plan to add Paris this year

1. ___________.blogspot.com (check out my fave blogs)
2. my bank's website
3. aol
4. msn

1. Plantain fried in palm oil
2. Golden Morn
3. my Fried Rice
4. Isi Ewu/Suya

1. exotic things like dog, cat, lizard...you get the idea...I dont care if it taste like chicken
2. lobster/crab.. most arthropods
3. foie gras
4. pork...at least i try not to...kinda hard especially if you eat sausage links

1. Suya w/lots and lots of pepper...pina colada on the side...
2. Apple pie dumpling a la mode from Brusters and Mr.Biggs' jelly donuts
3. agege bread with ewa agroyin (sp?) and Mama Bendel's rice and plantain at the local airport in lagos...with that spicy stew...men...my tongue is tingling
4. rectangular OKIN biscuit...the way the used to make 'em and TUC

1. Bed...and me usually
2. TV...always on
3. lots and lots of books...they're EVERYWHERE
4. Laptop

1. Bob
2. Another walk-in closet with more shoe space
3. A maid
4. A masseuse

1. PJs
2. Scrunchie on my wrist

1. On vacation in Spain/France/Mauritius
2. with Mommy
3. with Bob
4. somewhere I dont have bills to pay but can live lavishly

1. In any of the books im reading....well most. Each book I read is like taking a vacation

1. Oprah. I love the vision she has for Africa.
2. My sister. That means Id be in England...yaaayyyy!!! and she's paying...double yaaayyyy!!!
3. Bob
4. Janet Jackson - had a dream that she bought me a hummer

1. Why am I doing this
2. Why am I awake at this time
3. I need to go back to bed
4. I need to clean my room...seriously!

1. My Bed...love it love it love it.
2. Cell Phone....cant leave home without it
3. Books...love to read. read at least 1 book every 2-3 days
4. Music

1. SB
2. Bijou
3. Miguel
4. Life of a Stranger
5. Arojojoye
6. Jaycee
7. Sapphire
8. Ms Amuta
9. NyjaGuy
10. Olawunmi
11. Daddy's Girl
12. Nubian Soul
13 - infinity. EVERYONE reading this that hasnt already been tagged by anyone else is TAGGED

October 16, 2006

The Art of Giving

I have a thing about gift giving. I dont want to seem ungrateful...dont want to seem that Im complaning about gifts but I detest people giving me gifts...silly gifts...people that I know...just for the sake of giving me something

I moved after college and lived with an uncle for a bit. For christmas that year, I got an eucalyptus bath set. Didnt like it. I know it was purchased by his wife..okay...this was my first year with them...they probably werent sure what to get me

Awwww...thank you uncle...you didnt have to get me anything

I was quite serious. I didnt get them anything. Didnt even spend christmas with them. Went to my friend's house and spent it with their family. Had to eat some authentic Nigerian food that day you know

2nd christmas, my cousin came visiting from Europe. I felt obligated to spend christmas with this particular uncle. But first I went to visit my other cousins and their family. Then I took my cousin to visit with my uncle much later. I got there later on purpose. My cousin got a nice department store shirt and I got another bathset...this time it was an orange "baby" bath set...had a little sponge with an elephant head attached to it....a barsoap with a toy squid inside of it...some orange scented rose petals, Potpourri and a rainbow collection of shower gels. Gave the gels to my friend....not as a gift...she knew the deal...she later told me, the gels didnt even foam...imagine that! This guy at work was taking his girl out for a romantic weekend so I gave him the rose petals. He said he liked it. I used the potpourri to make another gift. It was my friend's birthday. I got a large vase and put the potpourri in there and put some flowers in... The rest of the stuff is stuffed in some forgotten closet

Thank you so much uncle...Merry Christmas to you too :-)

3rd christmas...what did I get?
another bathset... infact Im so disillusioned by this whole thing that I cant recall what kind it was

Okay here's the deal...my uncle has kids that are close to my age. They get all sorts of things for christmas...jewelry, clothes....etc. I understand that Im not their child but I just rather they didnt get me any gifts. This is the reason I dont spend christmas with them. Imagine everyone opening their numerous gifts and it's like "Here Diamond....here's your bathset"...and mind you...the time is not taken to wrap it...it's just placed in a gift bag and handed over...where's the excitement of trying to find out what I got for christmas

I feel like cinderella
I feel like the housemaid
I feel like the maiguard's daughter!!!!!

My cousin and a friend think I should talk to them, that I have enough bathsets and that could they get me something else next time...but exactly how will I do so. I mean the person shopping is actually my uncle's wife. I just dont understand...During christmas is the exact time I feel least important to them. So I typically spend it with my paternal cousins....we dont really do the gift giving stuff. I mean we do it for the kids. Sometimes I get something...but it's something I want...like one time I wanted the Michael McDonald CD...surprise surprise...I got it....another time I got a check...HELLOOOOOOOOOO....you cant go wrong with money....This will be my 4th christmas and they dont know it yet but I wont be in this country to celebrate it with them.

This 3rd christmas I actually didnt get the gift until the new year cuz I refused to go there. My aunt where they spent christmas was laughing and making faces as she handed me their gift...cuz she knew how silly of a gift it was.

I could go and on..but truly...Im not ungrateful. I just think a bad gift is horrible...worse than getting no gift. I really would prefer to get nothing..I am fine with it. But if you feel obligated to get me something, cash is always great....sssssshhhhhhhhh...im ALWAYS at Walmart...a giftcard there aint bad.

My friends while in college got me this really cute antique clock. I love things that are functional. Things that are unique...things that are cute...

Now if you dont really know me and are getting me such gifts...that's fine. The problem here is these people know me or claim to do so...and they should know better. I mean you cant go wrong with asking me what I would like. I remember when I lived in BeanTown..my sister had all of us make a list of what we wanted...for her and for others that would call to inquire about what we may like...seems like a reasonable approach.

I contemplated re-gifting the bathset with the elephant head and giving it to their little girl for her birthday...kinda to send a subtle message...but I changed my mind.

Once, my friend had a birthday...she'd be talking about getting her pictures organized and all. What did I get her....a photo album...a really cute one...and wrote a cute little message in it too. So what the gift didnt cost me alot...even though for a photo album i thot it was a bit on the pricey side...it was thoughtful and I tell you everytime she opens it, she will remember me...well my picture is on the first page too so she kinda has no choice. Imagine if I got her a bathset...someone that I claim to know...I mean if she wanted her a bathset, I could get it just because...

I like getting things just because. Im not of the mindset that you should wait for a special occassion. If I see something...I like it...I think of you...you get it...plain and simple. Like a friend of mine actually got me a bathset...but get this...it's the one I use...she knew enough of me to get me exactly what I use. No funky fruity flavors. And there was no special occasion. She came to see me from outta town and said she went by the store and saw it and thought of me... This is the same friend that I gave the non-foaming bath gel to

Im bad right? I seem ungrateful right?
Well Im sorry. I cant help feeling this way and I kinda wish I didnt feel this way because I do feel bad that I feel this way.

My birthday has come and gone...I made up a gift list...people said things on my list were too pricey...
I got the major things that I wanted so it's all good. Im not going to ask for cheap things to satisfy people. I like what I like and I want what I want. I work hard so really...people dont have to get me anything. If I want it, I work hard to get it. That's just how Im wired. I've been blessed/favored to not have to pay for everything that I want. Glory be to God :-)

My bathset giving uncle and aunt came for my birthday and said they forgot the gift at home...so I told them Id come get it yesterday. But I didnt go...what if it's another BATHSET?

I dont know if I can take it anymore...it's like a joke now... a game...let's guess what fruit flavored fragrance I'll be getting this time.

October 11, 2006

OH NO....not again

A small aircraft crashes into a High Rise Building on the Upper EastSide in NewYork. It's not terrorism related (that's the claim at this time) but goodness it sure brings back the fear we had on the anniversary of a month ago.


I wanted to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone that showed me love on my birthday...in thoughts..words...and gifts!!! :-) I cried yesterday morning because I was overwhelmed. I was amazed that people were contacting me to wish me a happy birthday.I was just happy that people even remembered.

I got woken by constant beeps from several text messages...my mother called me very early as well. I know she was praying for me and Im sure I was saying Amen but I couldnt really remember anything she said so I called her back when I was fully awake. I know I did a post and I came online to check on it and I had messages from some of my favorite people in Blogsville. My dad called and we listened to some KSA songs over the phone. My ever busy brother called me from Hawaii. I was surprised actually. He always acts like he's too too busy for anything....but he remembered his baby sister. I chatted with my sister and her boyfriend all morning. People that I hadnt even reminded were calling me....emailing me...texting me.... Blogger Boo called me...I was tripped that he remembered. He's a great guy. My cousin in Manchy called me later in the evening and is getting me the ONE gift I really really want. All I can say is God is great and I've been favored. I felt loved....by God...by everyone. It was the most amazing feeling...I just had to cry. Infact, I surprised myself by what I was feeling...I didnt know I would feel....sooo much you know. A big THANK YOU goes out to everyone. Thank you for all your prayers...and I know that they'll be answered according to God's Will. I have the most awesome circle of friends and family

So.... in appreciation, please have a slice of one of my favorite cakes....it's on me! It's from ColdStone Creamery. It's Strawberry Passion. It's heavenly. Or if you're chanced to go to the actual creamery...try their apple pie a la mode ice cream in a waffle cup...that's my favorite

Thank you guys once again. God bless you! Amen!!

oh...I almost forgot to add that I played the lottery yesterday...megamillions...praying that I would hit it big time...I understand how this can quickly become an addiction. The person at the counter had to teach me how to play cuz Ive never played before...not even 1 of my numbers showed up o...nonsense! As tempting as it is I think I'll keep my hard earned dollars and not waste it again. But seriously I was praying to win...wouldnt that have been great? I already was planning what I would do with it...pay off all my friends debts from school or whatever...buy my sister a car....I talked to my sister yesterday about me playing...told her I was praying to win...she said something to me that I'd never thought of...she said God answers prayers...it just may not be the answer you want. Hmmm...Thought that was interesting...cuz I guess I always figured God answering prayers meant "YES" to what I was praying for...

October 10, 2006

Another day...Another Year

So the day has finally arrived...my birthday.... I am so grateful to God for letting me see another year. I typically dont do anything on my birthday...I just chill at home cuz I know throughout the course of the day people will be calling me. I also use that time to reflect on where I was last year....how I've changed since my last birthday....I go through mental self-analysis

Yesterday I went through all of my photo albums..I was looking for my baby picture....went thru pictures of me as a kid....up until now...and really I just have to say Thank you to God. There are times when I didnt think I would make it. Times when I thought it was me against the World...but through it all I've survived. If it wasnt for God on my side....I dont know where I would be

I remember when I was 4 years old. I see myself right there in the den...underneath this cane table that I somehow imagined was an elevator...a boat...a tent...and my dad looked at me and asked "Do you know how old you are today?" and I excitedly exclaimed I was FOUR

When I was 7, I was late to school. My mom had gotten packages ready for me to celebrate my birthday in school. All the late-comers were let go that day because of me. It was great. Everyone was sooooo nice to me that day. Everyone wanted to be my friend.

At 9, i had a small get together at home. Nothing serious. My mom always found someway to mark my birthday and make it special. The neighborhood kids came around and we all had cake. It was a small round cake...I can remember what I was wearing...where I was standing...My back was against the windows...It was nice

10 was a biggie for me. I had a big party. Everyone came together. It was a community event. This aunt wanted to do one thing...another uncle wanted to do another thing...everyone wanted to pitch in. It was lovely. I was the Star...and rightly so. All my friends came around. I remember my friends Amaka, nonny and I were going thru this "rapture" phase...and they asked me if at my party, they would play only christian music? I felt uncomfortable then because you know I didnt want to go to Hell...but just one round of musical chairs got me through that. I had fun..so many outfits....so many pictures. My hair was up in curls. I wore this peach colored skirt and blouse...it was lacy... I also had this red and blue outfit...gosh that skirt was soooooooo short...kept riding up everytime I sat down. One of my aunts had given me this beaded jewelry set...gosh it was exquisite. Some idiot broke into my house in LA and stole it. I had kept it for years and years and some fool stole it....

at 13, I got summoned to the Counsellor's office in school. I was a new student. I was wondering why I was getting summoned from class. Lo and Behold...my dad came to school to surprise me with cake and drinks for my friends

I think back to my school days....my innocence...gosh I've come a long way. Back then I couldnt wait to grow up. I couldnt wait for the day I would start to read the newspapers or watch the news...these were adult things. And now Im an adult, sometimes I crave the simplicity of my childhood ..where my greatest dilemma was how I would conquer Bowser in Mario Bros.

I approached this birthday cautiously...I felt almost like I didnt want to get older...as in age wise...but as the day drew nearer...I got excited. I remember years ago, I thought people at my present age were OLD...but now Im here...and Im YOUNG. I went for my annual shopping trip. I always treat myself on my birthday. I dont even want to balance my account just yet. Im just excited that Im here...today...now. My sister said at my age, I'll experience a sudden change with certain things...and Ive got to say she's right. She said this is the age where you start to take control. I seem to be more focused....going after things that I want now with much more intensity than before

Im just happy today. It's almost 1am...I've received a couple of calls....and S was over w/his girlfriend...they just left...Im starting my day listening to Praise & Worship songs..I started with Born to Win...which is sorta like my theme song. You guys enjoy your day today..why? Cuz it's MY birthday and Everyone needs to be happy and enjoy today..it's the perfect 10... Did you know... in the bible 10 represents perfection in divine order

songs im listening to (click to download): Order my steps ### Born to win ### I can make it, I can stand


October 5, 2006


Today is wonderful.
I got to work today and the manager asked if I had on makeup and I was like no, I said I guess I just scrubbed it really hard this morning. Im not one of those fussy ladies. I rarely wear makeup...I just cant be bothered. I was trying to remember what I did differently today...oh...I didnt put vaseline on my face today...she was like "you look good"... hmmmmm...a compliment to start off the morning....nice nice. Yes...I know Im a bush girl...using vaseline on my face. Anyone have any suggestions for what I really should use. Im a late bloomer I guess...I just cannot get into makeup...Im trying sha...being that Im getting older...just minimal things...I dont want to use my face as an artists' canvas. Im going to get some eye shadow and mascara from MAC soon. I dont like lipstick...I use Victoria Secret's lip gloss...my sister introduced me to them...sometimes I just line my lips with a brown pencil and put some vaseline...hehe...there goes another use for vaseline again... Vaseline is the cure all o. I carry it everywhere I go....it's a moisturizer...lip gloss...shoe shiner (although I cant remember ever using it for that but I heard it works)
It's employee appreciation day at work today. Got an email early this morning that in a random drawing 45 employees will be chosen for a massage and guess who got one of the spots....moi!!!
As soon as I got the email I knew that I would get one of the spots...it's just one of those things that you know...that you feel. I had to ask who was giving the massage though...dont want no management team touching up on me you know...copping a feel for free....I think NOT! It was done by a professional...her name is Shakwana. They wanted me to sign a disclaimer first...I was like ah ah...for what? In case of injury blah blah blah. Men I pled the blood of the lamb before I entered the room where the massage was to take place. I've never had a professioinal massage. Meeeeeennnnn those ppl can kill somebody o. As in the pressure the put on you....almost equal to deadly force. All I know is dont get into a fight with a masseuse. The pressure felt good. I felt weightless afterwards. I think I may have to include massages into some sort of monthly routine. I told her I wanted to learn...not to do it professional...just do it on loved ones...my lover (whoever that is) most especially. Anyways if I dont learn, I will be sure to include this into my schedule at least once a year.
Also, I got a gift from my sister today for my birthday. I was very excited. It's a nice handbag. It is sooooooooo tres chic...as in I emptied my LV bag and started rocking the one I received. I was undecided....should I wait or not...I decided against waiting. I went to go pick it up from the post office today. I love the smell of leather. Intoxicating. My sister has superb taste. But seriously...that post office...those ppl are thieves...My dad's birthday was like 2wks ago and I had his card since but I hadnt sent it...so I said since Im going to the post office I'll carry my mail with me...that's how the guy said you owe 24more cents...I asked for what? He said the card is heavy. na wa o. The envelope didnt state extra postage needed. I think they're cheating me...Yes it's only 24more cents...but for ONE card? nothing inside...just one piece of paper to let my dad know that Im sorry his card is late. I asked him what would have happened if I had just put in the mailbox instead...he said the person receiving it would probably have to pay the difference....can you imagine? Is this not legal thievery?
Anyways got back to work....found a parking spot in the front. God is good. As in parking is scarce...especially in the front...it's typically filled by lunch time after which we have to park in the garage...Now me? I've never parked there .... as in why? who wants to HIKE to work...it's must be like half a mile away from the buildilng. ok..maybe it isnt half a mile but I just cant be walking all that distance to work...You know what? it must be half a mile. Anyways Thank God for a premier parking spot. So I got back to work and guess what....free lunch...and it was decent this time...can this day be more perfect?
All in all today has been a good day
Im looking for a Nigerian Happy Birthday song...by edna something or other...if anyone has it, can they send it to me...pretty please?
How are yall doing? I just jumped into talking about my day without even asking how you were doing. Shame on me. Hope you guys are doing okay
okay...gotta get back to work

October 3, 2006

Life is like a song... [UPDATED]*

I know it's a re-post yall but I updated it...changed the list. Also Madam Uzo is or should be back ...if it is possible she's more of a music addict than I am...so Im reposting this to welcome her back from her long vacation. I also uploaded the songs as previously promised...you simply have to click on each song and you'll be able to download it for the next 5days
It all kinda started yesterday when I stumbled on someone's wedding website. I heard a song and then I went on Miguel's website and someone had made a comment about that exact same song. So today at work, I still had that song playing in my head. It's Love of my Life by Brian McKnight. I decided I would give you my list of the top 10 love songs

I tried yall. I really did...but do you know how hard it is to come out with a TOP TEN when there are so many songs to choose from? While compiling this list, I asked around and got other people's opinions on their all time FAVORITE love song...just ONE. And I ask that you guys make a contribution as well...maybe give a little story behind it if you want. I made my decision based on the lyrics...and the actual presentation of the song...the tune and all that...
For me, a love song should clearly articulate everything you want to say...everything you should feel...it should embody that warm feeling...that zing that courses through you when you think of something...or someone

Top Ten Best Love Songs

1. I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston - Im not sure anyone has matched up to her yet. She's wonderful. Dont really believe her separation from Bobby is permanent. Time will tell I guess

2. At Last by Etta James - I dont think this song can ever be overplayed. You hear the first bars of the song and immediately you're transported...titled my post from a line from her song.... At last, my lonely days are over....

3. Cant Stop Thinking About You by KWAM 1 - Someone people are probably snickering and laughing their heads off at this choice...a few of my friends think this song is "razz" but I love it. I love the authenticity of it. It's on par with Ebenezer's Baby mi jo wo o..je ka jo ma gbadun...

4. For You by Kenny Lattimore - This song is probably overplayed but it communcates my thoughts quite well

5. Dangerously in Love 2 by Beyonce - love it love it love it. why do people hate on beyonce? I love her although her most recent album was a little wild..im still feeling it. I kinda like No One by Cece Winans* as well.... honestly I was waging a battle as to which one I wanted to pick...

6. If I Aint Got you by Alicia Keys - This really should have been my #1. Do yall know she sang it with Usher. That's not a well known version but it is one that I absolutely love. Ive been looking for it ever since but I havent found it :-( . Alicia is definitely one of those that I think will be around for a long time. I just love her style...have yall noticed she never overexposes herself when she dresses?

7. The promise by Tracy Chapman - This is a new favorite. I bought her CD for just that song. Heard it while going thru someone's wedding website..David n Bisola's actually. I actually shared it with my sister and she thought it beautiful enough to share it with her man. Was sharing my updated list with my cousin and next thing you know...I have most of what Tracy's done. She has stayed true to herself thru the years...
8. If this world were mine by Luther Vandross & Cheryl Lynn - What would you do if this world was yours?

9. Where you are by Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson - Im guilty of buying Jessica's Sweet Kisses album for this song. I love it..it's the words people...the words do me in

10. I Finally Found Someone by Barbra Streisand/Bryan Adams - This is from the movie, The Mirror has Two Faces. I remembered the first day I heard it. I was in Atlanta for Christmas...by the end of the hour I had the song memorized. I love the dialogue between them.


If it wasnt for your love by Heather Headley ::: I Do by Boyz II Men ::: You're all I need to get by - by Chante Moore & Kenny Lattimore ::: Never Far Away by Lagbaja ::: I Love you by Dare Art Alade ::: You by Jesse Powell ::: Olo mi by Tosin Martins ::: After All Is Said and Done by Beyonce and Marc Nelson* ::: It's Your Love by Tim McGraw*

October 2, 2006

but I will...

He moved to a different state
I didn't cry or anything. Barely saw him before he left. I was mad busy with work. Didnt like that he was moving. I mentioned two became 3 right? Well 3 had gone back to 2 because the 3rd person had moved back east. My roll dogs were leaving me. I was going to be alone again. It's interesting as I think back because I have vague recollections of him moving. I didnt think too much about it. Maybe I didnt want to cry again. I cant even remember if he said GoodBye this time.
He moved for school. Before he left, he kept asking me what my post-graduate plans were. Even now he keeps encouraging me to go back to school. I HATE SCHOOL but I understand that it's necessary. During my research to find a school to complete a Master's program, his state came up but I shut that idea down. Would it really have mattered? I didn't want it to seem like I was following him. We've already raised a few eyebrows w/in our circles. Infact we've both been questioned about our status. He's asked me before if I would date him and each time my response had been in the negative. He asked me why and I said it just wouldn't work if we did. People thought we acted like an old married couple and when I think back...we kinda sorta did. I finally told him I loved him...I think I told him either the year we moved or my last year in college. I did it in such a way to undermine the great significance of such an admittance. It took a lot for me to voice it to him but I just had to let him know. It had to come out...I couldnt hold it in any longer. I love him. I really do. How could I not. He's been good to me for the most part.
He bought a house and I remember him telling me that I needed to come down and visit. He described the house...he said "your" room is here and my room is there...I laughed. So I had a room in his house huh...must be nice. I know we had skirted around the issue of being room mates while we lived in the same state but of course that never happened. At the time I was living with my cousins for free and I wasnt about to give that up. I think he would have made a great room mate. He's neat and quiet. We could always hang out and I could probably rush him to get ready in a timely fashion. Wouldnt have to worry about sharing anything. I probably would have done the cooking but I wouldnt have minded.
I think about my love for music. Any friend I have has to have some kind of appreciation for music. There are long phone calls that I have where all I do is play the person on the other end the music Im feeling. I literally could just spend hours doing that. S has a collection that rivals anyone's - guaranteed. He knows everyone...from the artists before we were born to the current ones and he has books of CDs...he groups them by genre. He actually inspired me to start my collection. Remember the movie Brown Sugar...a lot of old hip hop heads were on there...he would lean over and tell me who they were even before their names were shown. Oh yeah that's another thing. He would just come on some random day and say "Let's go the movies, I'll pay". You'll pay?...let me grab my shoes...no problem....lol. He bought me the SoundTrack to Brown Sugar...not sure if it was for my birthday or what..I told him I wanted it... I love that CD. There's this song on there, Time after Time that I absolutely love. If you're ever chanced to meet S, you wont even realize that he's into music like that. I mean he's always bringing me CDs to sample. He brought me Evelyn Champagne. He said no collection is complete without that. Im like okay. Heard it...own it now, but Im not really feeling Evelyn. Last year, I didnt feel like buying Jamie Foxx's CD and Mary Js...he said he had Mary Js so we decided we would swap but when he came, he said "Here, you can keep it". You know as much as he irritates me, there are times when he makes me smile.
Inevitably, he met and started dating some chick he met in school. She wasn't serious. She was playing games. Did she think he was stupid...that he didn't know? He told me everything about her...told me he had to let her go. She wouldnt want to talk to him, then would call him up when she needed a ride or help with something. Or she would tell him to call her and then act like she was sleeping or wouldnt even pick up her phone. I told him she probably wasnt ready for a relationship...but I told him this after he'd let her go. The games we women like to play... anyways He's met someone else and so far so good. They met in school as well. I didnt hear so much about her intially but then he would start to reveal things to me. They've been travelling around the country...going to weddings and stuff. I don't know about anyone but I feel when you start going to weddings as a couple then that is as serious as it gets...the only thing is to wait for you to call out the wedding date.
I asked him when he would marry her...he said after I get married. I laughed at that one. I asked him if she's the one...he said it's too soon to tell. Im wondering: Just how long does it take a guy to figure out if shes da one! He didn't even want to call her his girlfriend initially. I had to confront him about that. Told him he cant be stringing people along. You see I've been a victim of that. Was with this guy for a whole year...thought he was my boyfriend. He was my unofficial Sugar Daddy...nominated himself for that position. First guy I ever flew out of state to be with. I was feeling even more of an adult with myself then. This was the first time I'd flown since 9/11. I was soooooooo scared. Anways, Suga Dad would send me stuff and would sign it "moi". He was (is) French...at the time I thought it was cute. The relationship phased out eventually. We were talking once and he told me about his current girlfriend and how her friends were tripping over the things he had sent. So I casually asked how did they know it came from you. He said "She's my girlfriend and of course I sign my name on whatever I send". OH REALLY? That was a revelation so going forward I need to know...I am your _______? No more going with the flow...let's get out the dictionary if we have to-to get some definitions. Anyways, I told S he needs to define what his relationship is and the next time I called he's like "My girlfriend...". At least he listens.
So this is my story with S. at least part of it. Im remembering everything good about being together...about what we used to do. He loves my cooking. Im always trying a new recipe out. Wanted me to teach him. I can hear him say "Meeennnnn Diamond, this was good...how did you make it." or "Can I have some more" or "Do you mind if I take some home?". Im also remembering how he would dissappoint me...as in he'll tell you he's coming at 6 but comes much later or not at all. It used to make me mad. Im stickler for time...dont grab the concept of CP time. Im for the most part a prompt person. He knew it irked me when he wasnt on time but he was so good natured about it. We were forever apologising to each other about things...him to me more than me to him. He got used to my impatience, learned to deal with me...and I got used to his lateness, resigned myself to dealing with it.
Want to know what spurred this journey...what's causing me to exhale? He called me. He's coming to town. He told me to book tickets for a show that we all could see together. But I'll be the 3rd wheel. I dont know her so I would really only be able to flow with him but then I'd be restricted because she's his woman now. This might be a bit awkward. I no longer will have a place in the front of the car with him...everyone knew that was my spot...I will be delegated to the back seat. Should be interesting. Even though they probably will book a hotel, a part of me wants him to stay with me...even if it's just to sleep...let him stay... with me
I told him a while back that I would love to know who would marry him...who would tolerate him...because in my mind I just couldnt pair him with anyone...not even me. He's that unique I guess...he's sweet too. Dont want anyone to take advantage of him. *Deep Sigh* I love that boy...not in love...or in lust...I just love him...I dont know how else to put it. But he's not the one for me. I am sure...
He has a girlfriend anyway
They've been together for months now
She said she's heard a lot about me...hmmmm
They're coming down this weekend!
and im soooo NOT booking any show for us to see together
they should come to my house. We'll watch Bollywood/Nollywood videos
I feel so much better writing this...really...it's been therapeutic. Although there are alot of things that have been left unwritten...it felt good to release some of the stuff. I feel like I had all this in my harddrive that just had to be offloaded
now I can breathe in again!