December 16, 2006


I dont want to want you to want me
I dont want to want your words to caress me
I dont want to want to be the one that breathes life into your soul
and inspires the words that earn you global adoration
I dont want to want to fantasize about life with you
I dont want to want your intensity focused on me
it's funny how you inspire my words...
funny...not funny ha ha...but funny...this is so ridiculous
how you'll never know...maybe you'd suspect but i'd never tell
my secret...while not a mine alone to keep even if you know
and if you do...dont tell her...dont call or text me...dont email me

I dream of winter in the south of France...summer in spain...
spring in Lagos and fall in bed...on the floor...wherever whenever-
oh...Father please forgive me
absorbing the culture...absorbing you
experiencing new things...creating shared memories
seeing everything through you...with you
the colors...the food...the music...the language...
concerts in open fields...picnics in cute outdoor cafes
I dont want to want that with you

Political discussions...varying views
and Im sure I dont know half of what you're talking about
it's your passion that does me in...
Heated debates leading to ferocious mating sessions
laughter...and more laughter
breakfast in bed...relaxing baths disgusting!
I dont want that with you

Ice skating at Rockefeller Center...a quiet walk around the park
walking in sync...our hearts...your my dub
dim lit rooms....the strum of your guitar...quiet reading...
mutual appreciation for the silence of our intimacy
in a darkened car...on a quiet head against your shoulder
content and secure in you drive us home
I dont want to want that

You disgust me
Im repulsed by you
I dont want you
You're not good for me
I wish you were perfect
Really...what do I care that you're not

Get out of my head
im serious
out of my imagination
Let my memory be erased clean of you
you see i've stayed away from you

Just go away


The Life of a Stranger called me said...

wow Diamond - hope this isn't about a fake real stranger. This really is something - like there is this thing, this figment that is stalking your mind, causing you to feel things when its just not real. Like you know its not real but ur imagination runs wild. Like some blogger but on a serious note - feeling, figment, stranger get out of Diamond's mind. LEAVE I tell you. Leave. OK serously, stranger what is your problem. How dare u do this. Who do you think u are. Infiltrating Diamonds mind - I bet you've never seen her face beforestarnger - I bet you havnt. I have to go now, cause it look like Im fighting with a figment beca$use of you D.LOL. Have a good weekend.

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling you on this one.Somehow it never really goes away completely but you will be alright.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

hmmm a fake real stranger.. how about a real fake stranger... lol.. gosh you've got me all mixed up're funny!!!

@Anon - for my sanity...I hope it goes away COMPLETELY...

cherub said...

U know, u're sorta voicing out some of my thots. Just that i kinda know mine isn't a stranger, well maybe it's a stranger. I woke up this morning too, and typed out some of my thots. Stranger (or not) leave Diamond alone o. But i kinda think she really doesn't want u to leave her alone Stranger. Hmmmmmmmmm...

Diamond said...

Cherub you naughty girl...before i forget....i hope you know you'll be owing me more than a key chain now o...

As per your last statement
let me refer you to MY DILEMMA

Soul said...

I've been waiting for you to write like this again.
you know?
open, letting it out, and at the same time holding a little back.
I've always thought that when you use words to let go, you help everyone who reads those words 'let go' as well

I think I've told you before that when you write like this, I can almost taste the words.

Keep writing, diamond.
Just keep writing

Biodun said...

I love this post, its so real! We all deal with stuff like this n I know my imagination runs wild all the time, refreshing post!

CHERUB said...

Owing u more than a keychain ke? What's other "gbese" do i have? I hope it isn't gist sha that i'm owing u now. Have fun with this stranger *evil laughter* BWAHAHAHAHA

DiAmOnD hawk said...

soul...those thots have been in my head for some time...i had to let it go...a little anyways

hmmm where have YOUR imaginations taken tell

Bijou...key chain was bday...housewarming so you're holding back on gist????? o ya...start spilling

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

I know exactly what this feels like... especially now that I'm so 'overwhelmed'... I know this!Fantastic writeup

Uzo said...

Oh dear.....

NaijaBloke said...

Real fake stranger!! Fake real stranger!!!

I hope this is not happening for real sha ..
U have a nice week o

Vera Ezimora said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You just reminded me of a guy I need to blog about. Good luck with ur man...real or imaginary, lol.