December 30, 2006

I wrote this months back. I find my mind revisitng it over and over again as the different incidents happen. I published it...thought it was too harsh...took it off. I decided to release it and let it go with this year

Onada recently cleaned her closet of useless friendships...the only thing is im not sure this particular friendship is useless..or maybe I just want to hold on to it for the sake of saying I have a friend...

I dont know...all I know is I get hurt again and again by this person...but then there are times when we laugh...or when she offers advice

I find it easy to throw people away and it's a habit I've been trying to curb...understanding that everyone isnt perfect and everyone has their moments.

I got to work today and apparently something of mine brushed against her...I didnt know...she was soooooo abrasive in letting me know...which made me give a reluctant apology...she ignores me for the rest of the day...talking to others then proceeds to tell me to stop shouting. I said "im not shouting so whatever"...and she ignored me for the rest of the day.

Now...she'll say it's the hormone pills she's on...how come she can be nice to others... It's so hard for me to be abrasive to people that I like or want to like me...I have no problem telling someone off...what is this friendship worth to me?

I dont know...I really need to evaluate this friendship...but I find that the thoughts I had months back...I have to release...

**********

so this is friendship
you only talk to me when you feel like
you wait for me to initiate the "good morning"
i see you walking around
you act like you're sick...maybe you are
but you manage to walk around and converse
oh excuse me
i forgot my position...the door mat
to wipe your shit on right?
the fucking bank when you need a loan
no credit check
or wait
the baby sitter
the fucking chef and grocery store
the one you want to moan to about your man
Aint life interesting
I thought you were different
Now I look back and realize what I didnt want to see
you insist I come to your party?
wait...what's that?
dont forget your camera??
so now Im the pro bono photographer
you stick close to me...ur ignition aint kicking
so now Im the chauffer
you call me
i answer
you tell me how you feel
I say this too shall pass
you tell me if "you're in trouble" you'll be there
if you're sick you'll be there
im sick
the phone's not rining
no knock on the door
so this is friendship
scales seem a bit unbalanced
became your landlord
no rent
yet you walk by me and dont speak
oh my bad
It's just one of dem days
girl your name aint monica
how many days do you have?
is this your definition of friendship
then you want to smile at me
when you want to wipe more shit on me
sure why not
you act like you're wise
bitch sit your ass down
took me a minute
but I figured you out
your lies were lies
silly me
just thought you were forgetful
your ass is on my Do Not Call
Do not Answer list
Be at peace!

5 comments:

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

hmmm! intense i wonder why people chose to act like this and still call themselves friends. Babe if this is relating to someone trust me you dont need them better to have no friends than to have those that only know us when they need us u get. hows ur weekend going

Anonymous said...

Good for you Diamond...good for you.

Anonymous said...

I think we all have someone like this in our lives...

Best decision I made about this kinda person was - I deleted the number and continued with my life. I won't say I cut the person off but I moved on SHARPISH!
I totally can relate to this post.

Please leave these feelings behind in 2006 and start 2007 with no excess luggage(baggage). And with a BIG smile, and positive feelings for the wonderful year to come :-)

I'll be back in 2007 ;-)

Happy New Year Babe!!!

Vera Ezimora said...

When it comes 2 friendship, the rules r kinda different. I mean, if she were ur boyfriend, u mighta broken up with him by now, but friends... friends... wat 2 do!

Anyways, u need not anyone who will diminish and/or tamper with ue happiness and self worth.

You don't want a friend who only comes 2 u when she needs something. You don't have to 'cut her off', but just keep her @ an arm's length.

Happy New Year!!!

Nilla said...

.."all I know is I get hurt again and again by this person"..

You really don't need someone like that in your life (especially when they parade themselves as friends), cos the truth is she is he/she is still going to hurt you in the future.
So i agree with LondonBuki and Vera's comments.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!