November 28, 2006

sweet mother

You would think having Faith in God is easy. I guess saying it is easy...but putting it into practice is hard. There are moments where doubt comes in....I start to worry...I start hyperventilating...I start to cry...but still Im talking to God...and Im petitioning him about what's on my mind....and then I call my mom

People who know me are surprised that I havent done a piece on my Mom yet. They know how close we are...infact you cant claim to know me well and not know (of) my mom. She's the best. She's absolutely beautiful...everyone says that about their mom I know. I love her so much. Her skin is flawless...so soft...she is a work of art...I wish I was the carbon copy of her... my elder sister is. When I was younger...I couldnt imagine life without her...even now....it's like I live for her too

She calls me "mama"...she kisses my birthday cards still. One year, she didnt do that...maybe she thought...now Im grown up she doesnt have to do that...i called her promptly

"Mommy...why didnt you kiss the cards?"
she laughed...but I was serious...so she hasnt made that mistake again

Growing up, my mom and I werent the closest. I was Daddy's baby all the way...still am! I thought she loved my brother more...I think it's because he got away with so much (more on him later) but then things started to change...

I remember one time she was in the kitchen cooking...it was sunday...something happened with the oven..she turned it on to light it..u know the ones you light from the bottom...i think..anyways...something happened and she did it again and it blew...right in her face...oh my God...Im not even sure how we called who we called...my aunt came over...she's a doctor...got my sister as well...she's a nurse...it was horrible...my brother and I swore we wouldnt eat. We didnt want her to go back to the kitchen ever... we put vaseline all over her face...i mean all over.
She came through okay...no scars or anything...I think it was the heat more than anything else that was causing her pain...

Soon it was just mommy and me....and it was the best
I was the perfect daughter. I rarely questioned anything she did. I never really got into too much trouble. When she would punish me...I knew my way around it except that one time she had me do ma kuru ma ga (you hold your ears and u repeatedly squat down and go back up...talk about forced excercise). She specifically told me not to do something...it was concerning my dad's sister...she came over and didnt hear me greet and said she would report me to my dad so I inturn wrote her a letter and told her I wouldnt get in trouble so she can go right ahead...lol...I was all of 7 or 8 maybe?...Talk about sass at such a young age. My mother is everything to me... and some people say she spoiled me but I disagree. She showed me love as a mother should. So what she cleaned up after me (okay maybe she spoiled me in this area)...She did what she needed to do to ensure we had what we needed to have. I was never a demanding child though. I never asked for more than I knew she could give. If you lived in Nigeria you may have experienced the difficulty in trying to get into a secondary school...there's all these exams you have to take...She did everything to make sure I was prepared and fought for me to get into AirForce...you see they didnt want to take me on because I was 9 even though I had passed their written exams and done well with their interview. I wonder what they would have said the year before...my Godfather shut down that idea fast...can u imagine being 8 in Jss 1...a bit daunting i think

We had this ritual. She would travel for her job but she'd have to buy me dinner before she left...back then it was Terry's I think...Chicken George...NewYorker...just dinner outside of the house...and then of course I would cry myself into a headache when she left and start counting the days until she would come back

Moving to America was the hardest on me...I was leaving my comfort zone but I knew it was for the best...Im here now...so it must have been for the best. I cried almost everyday after I moved. You know there's nothing like the cocoon of a mother's love. My brother tried to comfort me. It was hard. Living with my dad wasnt just the same...he's a guy...he's not sensitive to female issues...lol...he was a lot stricter than my mom...and that didnt make it easy for either of us.

Being in the States, I knew that I would have to do well enough to justify everything she's done. I promised her everything...and Im striving to fulfill my promises. No matter what I do, she's always encouraging me. She makes sure she highlights the positive even while berating me for the negative...it's a nice balance. I know it is her prayers that have kept me safe and moving on...her prayers that have made it hard for me to say "I give up"

I call my mom like every other day...even if it's just for 5minutes. Just to know that she's okay...just to hear her voice...I call her when I need bible passages...I call her to pray for me...as if she needs a reminder...I call her to ask if there's anything she wants/needs me to do for her. I call her just to hear the latest gist. She makes me laugh. She loves to talk...she'll be telling me a story...I just want to hear the end...but mommy...no way...she must take you through the scenic route...and I realize it's memories like these that will keep going...and so I settle down and try to patiently endure the scenic conversations.

I've always said that if my children love me half as much as I love my mom then I would be lucky indeed. There's nothing I wouldnt do for her....nothing! Some people have their limits...but not me...I would do EH NEE THING.

Ask LondonBuki....we see the love her mom deposited in her shining thru every monday
Ask Uzo...when she went on a suicide excercise mission who was there to help soothe the pain

Mothers are the best. Their capacity to love...discipline...nurture...work in/out of the home...is to be admired.

*sigh*
I love my mommy
We argue....get into minor disagreements...but it never lasts for long. I tell her everything...well like 99.95% of everything...lol...i have to keep some things secret

She's protective of me too
I remember once in elementary...I had a problem with this teacher...gosh..Mrs.Adepoju...she was something else. My mom had to come to school and check her. Same thing in AirForce...some stupid sergeant was harrassing me over goodness knows what...maybe something to do with music...mommy had to pay him a little visit. I also remember one time...my brother and I had a private lesson teacher growing up. I didnt do my homework properly...or I didnt erase the page well...the teacher got mad and used koboko (horse whip) on me. He had done it such that the buttons on the back of my dress had come undone. Imagine...my mother that doesnt really hit/beat us...it is you that wants to hit me...I went right into the house and my mother came out with a Check in hand and that was the end of that guy.

I guess now Im older it's reversed. Im protective of her. You can do what you want...say what you want to me...but you cannot mess with my mom.

She's done so much...for part of her life she was a single mother and being a single mother is not easy...it is sooooooooo not easy...but you have a choice...you can give up or you can keep moving...she kept moving...what a strong lady. We've cried together...played together...laughed together... I used to get sick alot as a kid...mommy was always there with me...

Everyday of my life...Im thankful to God for my mother. Thankful for her genes.. :-) Thankful for the strength in her character that's helped define mine. Im just thankful to God because she "is"

It's day 28 yall....gosh this month has flown by...this year in fact has gone fast....what are you thankful for today?

15 comments:

LondonBuki said...

Mummies :-) :-) :-)

LondonBuki said...

This is BEAUTIFUL... I have tears in my eyes.

I am loving my blogpal's mummies oh... they are special people!

I can totally relate... I think if my kids can love me half as much as I love my Mummy, I am sorted! :-)

Have a wonderful week :-)

Uzo said...

Oh wow. You almost had me in tears here. Mothers and daughters have very interesting relationships but special ones nonetheless. The statement you made about your children loving you half as much as you love your mom is one i can totally agree with.

Here's to all our mothers. May we fulfill our destinies to their joy....

Miguel said...

I just had a doze of my mother this thanksgiving weekend... though we didn't get to spend as much time as i would have expected, the little time we spent was equally productive...though I think shes taken her wife-search to a different level...will be avoiding her this xmas.

I just pray the ladies with such lovely mothers will turn out the same or even better.

Nice post!

ms. may said...

Mothers are the best! Especially cool one like ours! LOL. I completely feel you o..to this day, I refuse to do anything that could get me into trouble with my mom IF she found out. People are always like, what are the chances she'll find out when she's thousands of miles away....I say, it's just enough to know she'll be disappointed if she knew. Now, I'm not perfect at that but for the most part I try to live that way.

Here's to us making our moms (and fathers) proud and making their sacrifices worth it.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

aww that reminds me of my mum - the only true friend I have - can only tell her 99.98% - she might hold it against the other person - so this girl ins school was harrassing me - we later became great friends but my mum never wanted to hear about her till I left -
she likes to tell long stories too - like do you remember that tree, undeneath - st augustines grammer school- ok mum what does that have to do with the price of fish - I always want to hear the end - we speak for hrs everyday - you know there is alot that could happen in one day -

She worries - I have to keep checking in before she sends police people my way
I was late oonce and shed reported me missing LOL - they told her it hadnt been 24hrs.

I salute all mothers - and pray that we be at least half of what they've been to us to our children. Amen.

NaijaBloke said...

WOW!!! ..this is nice piece ..

will have to do a piece on my mum sometime as well o ..cos am Jell Lux o..

Miggie I thot it was just me with the wife search thing o ..

U have a nice rest of the week dear

temmy tayo said...

Mommies are heaven made. I love mine pieces. Though i thout of leasing her out 2-3 weeks ago when she was over in the UK. Now she is back with her husband in Nigeria and I MISS HER.

My mum and i always fight when we talk husband issue anyway. The woman is now a desperado on my behalf.

Biodun said...

Mummies r the best, they give so much n r so selfless.
I am thankful for my mum's life n my relationship with her now, bcos it is much better than it was few months ago! thank you Jesus

Naijadude said...

Aww that is just so impressive. You make me wanna call me mummy and tell her I appreciate her.
They can be a pain in the butt sometimes but mummies are the best, their caring nature can be overwhelming but its so endearing!
God bless the ladies. Lovely mummy that is!!

diamond said...

@LB...who started this "first" thing...i think that will be my goal next week...lol...maybe we should have a blogpals and moms get-together one day...interesting...they can talk amongst themselves as to the best techniques to get their children married and blah blah blah...

@Uzo...i know you're daddy's girl all the way but yes...mothers and daughters have an interesting relationship

@Miguel...you want to your avoid your mom ehn? well done...she's only looking out for you...and Amen to your prayer

@Ms. May...you already know I said I will hijack your mom...

DiAmOnD hawk said...

@Life..hmmm...your mom sounds like mine...as per the story telling...maybe they're in some secret story telling mom society...lol

@NB...cant wait to read your piece...but um...STAY AWAY FROM VERA

@TemmyTayo...i know how you feel...as in my mom used to pick on me...Diamond this...Diamond that...and Im like...WHEN IS YOUR DEPARTURE DATE? but a min later im like PLEASE STAY WITH ME FOREVER...I love my mom...when she came to see me last time i bought food for her to cook...she was like "I didnt come here to cook for you" but guess what...i came home to a very delicious aroma...

@Biodun...i read your piece about your mom some weeks back..and im thankful to God as well that your relationship is getting stronger...you know it's important we try to live a life with no regrets...when the time comes when we no longer have your moms (or dads)...we dont want to be like "I wish..."...that's the key...that's how I started having better relationships

@Naija Dude...make sure you call mummy o and never miss a moment to let her know how much she's appreciated and loved...they know it...but it's always nice to say it out loud...

Vera Ezimora said...

Awwww, I love my mummy too! But right now, she needs to go out. I have spent too many days @ home with her; I am starting 2 itch.

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Mummies are heaven sent. Nice tribute to ur mum girl. I really need to do a piece on my mum. She's really cool.
@Vera: So it's ur mum making u itch? Silly chile like u.
@Miggie: U want to run away from ur mama, for why? She's just tryna look for that perfect "Ikemji" (remember checkmate?) from the villa for u.

Gramps said...

On target about having faith in God being "easier said than done". The good thing though is when you have experienced one very tough situation" and God comes through, it helps you in the next tougher situation.