October 16, 2006

The Art of Giving

I have a thing about gift giving. I dont want to seem ungrateful...dont want to seem that Im complaning about gifts but I detest people giving me gifts...silly gifts...people that I know...just for the sake of giving me something

I moved after college and lived with an uncle for a bit. For christmas that year, I got an eucalyptus bath set. Didnt like it. I know it was purchased by his wife..okay...this was my first year with them...they probably werent sure what to get me

Awwww...thank you uncle...you didnt have to get me anything

I was quite serious. I didnt get them anything. Didnt even spend christmas with them. Went to my friend's house and spent it with their family. Had to eat some authentic Nigerian food that day you know

2nd christmas, my cousin came visiting from Europe. I felt obligated to spend christmas with this particular uncle. But first I went to visit my other cousins and their family. Then I took my cousin to visit with my uncle much later. I got there later on purpose. My cousin got a nice department store shirt and I got another bathset...this time it was an orange "baby" bath set...had a little sponge with an elephant head attached to it....a barsoap with a toy squid inside of it...some orange scented rose petals, Potpourri and a rainbow collection of shower gels. Gave the gels to my friend....not as a gift...she knew the deal...she later told me, the gels didnt even foam...imagine that! This guy at work was taking his girl out for a romantic weekend so I gave him the rose petals. He said he liked it. I used the potpourri to make another gift. It was my friend's birthday. I got a large vase and put the potpourri in there and put some flowers in... The rest of the stuff is stuffed in some forgotten closet

Thank you so much uncle...Merry Christmas to you too :-)

3rd christmas...what did I get?
another bathset... infact Im so disillusioned by this whole thing that I cant recall what kind it was

Okay here's the deal...my uncle has kids that are close to my age. They get all sorts of things for christmas...jewelry, clothes....etc. I understand that Im not their child but I just rather they didnt get me any gifts. This is the reason I dont spend christmas with them. Imagine everyone opening their numerous gifts and it's like "Here Diamond....here's your bathset"...and mind you...the time is not taken to wrap it...it's just placed in a gift bag and handed over...where's the excitement of trying to find out what I got for christmas

I feel like cinderella
I feel like the housemaid
I feel like the maiguard's daughter!!!!!

My cousin and a friend think I should talk to them, that I have enough bathsets and that could they get me something else next time...but exactly how will I do so. I mean the person shopping is actually my uncle's wife. I just dont understand...During christmas is the exact time I feel least important to them. So I typically spend it with my paternal cousins....we dont really do the gift giving stuff. I mean we do it for the kids. Sometimes I get something...but it's something I want...like one time I wanted the Michael McDonald CD...surprise surprise...I got it....another time I got a check...HELLOOOOOOOOOO....you cant go wrong with money....This will be my 4th christmas and they dont know it yet but I wont be in this country to celebrate it with them.

This 3rd christmas I actually didnt get the gift until the new year cuz I refused to go there. My aunt where they spent christmas was laughing and making faces as she handed me their gift...cuz she knew how silly of a gift it was.

I could go and on..but truly...Im not ungrateful. I just think a bad gift is horrible...worse than getting no gift. I really would prefer to get nothing..I am fine with it. But if you feel obligated to get me something, cash is always great....sssssshhhhhhhhh...im ALWAYS at Walmart...a giftcard there aint bad.

My friends while in college got me this really cute antique clock. I love things that are functional. Things that are unique...things that are cute...

Now if you dont really know me and are getting me such gifts...that's fine. The problem here is these people know me or claim to do so...and they should know better. I mean you cant go wrong with asking me what I would like. I remember when I lived in BeanTown..my sister had all of us make a list of what we wanted...for her and for others that would call to inquire about what we may like...seems like a reasonable approach.

I contemplated re-gifting the bathset with the elephant head and giving it to their little girl for her birthday...kinda to send a subtle message...but I changed my mind.

Once, my friend had a birthday...she'd be talking about getting her pictures organized and all. What did I get her....a photo album...a really cute one...and wrote a cute little message in it too. So what the gift didnt cost me alot...even though for a photo album i thot it was a bit on the pricey side...it was thoughtful and I tell you everytime she opens it, she will remember me...well my picture is on the first page too so she kinda has no choice. Imagine if I got her a bathset...someone that I claim to know...I mean if she wanted her a bathset, I could get it just because...

I like getting things just because. Im not of the mindset that you should wait for a special occassion. If I see something...I like it...I think of you...you get it...plain and simple. Like a friend of mine actually got me a bathset...but get this...it's the one I use...she knew enough of me to get me exactly what I use. No funky fruity flavors. And there was no special occasion. She came to see me from outta town and said she went by the store and saw it and thought of me... This is the same friend that I gave the non-foaming bath gel to

Im bad right? I seem ungrateful right?
Well Im sorry. I cant help feeling this way and I kinda wish I didnt feel this way because I do feel bad that I feel this way.

My birthday has come and gone...I made up a gift list...people said things on my list were too pricey...
I got the major things that I wanted so it's all good. Im not going to ask for cheap things to satisfy people. I like what I like and I want what I want. I work hard so really...people dont have to get me anything. If I want it, I work hard to get it. That's just how Im wired. I've been blessed/favored to not have to pay for everything that I want. Glory be to God :-)

My bathset giving uncle and aunt came for my birthday and said they forgot the gift at home...so I told them Id come get it yesterday. But I didnt go...what if it's another BATHSET?

I dont know if I can take it anymore...it's like a joke now... a game...let's guess what fruit flavored fragrance I'll be getting this time.


shay said...

hey girl...i totally understand what you mean about those fruity bath sets....if i wanted strawberries, i'd buy them in the supermarket and eat them...not bathe in them! ok, i feel a bit of anger rising in me. i'm with you: no gift is WAY better than getting something that you know you'd have no use for.... :-)

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

BWAHAHAHA... Methinks u're getting a vanilla flavored bathset. HAHAHAHAHA... I feel u on this gift thing, i'd rather u don't get me anything than getting me something i wouldn't use. That's why they have gift cards, right? Even if it's a $10 gift card for me to get what i need, i'd appreciate it.

P.S: Okay, is that why u didn't send me the info i requested for the keyholder thingie, after i told u how much i paid for it? No qualms babe, just thot i'd throw that in.

TaureanMinx said...

I guess its okay that they think of you even though it may not be too much effort. Believe me I have been though worse with extended fam. Just take it with a pinch of salt. Not like you cant get yorself anything you really want.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Bijou. hold on to the key chain. I'll get with you shortly . I do want it. I like things like that actually. Loved that you thought about it. See it doesnt have to cost much...the thought behind the gift weights alot

and if i get a vanilla thingy...i will fwd it to you

Uzo said...

I am one of those that believes its the thought that counts. i have the ugliest things from people that i would never use but just because, i have them somewhere. Its the thought that counts ma and with your uncle and aunty, i feel it goes beyond the bath sets. Its the fact that you are treated differently, sort of as an afterthought or an obligation.

diamond said...

you're so right Uzo. YOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD. Cuz I have gifts from ppl that I havent used...it is really the thoughts that count. My most treasured gifts costs nothing.One year my friend sent me a keychain that said "friends"...i almost cried when I got it...cuz it may have cost less than $1..but the thought behind it WOWed me.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

I wasnt sure if to laugh but I say xoxo comment - Im laughing my head off - sorry - and the thing is I love bathsets - when I was in high school back in the day from the age of 13 that was the regular gifts and bouy did I like my different variety - sorry they mistook you for me - hahahahahah

- but on a serious - how could they keep repeating it - when its so evident its not the type of gift being given - now if everyone was receiving a bathset - then Im sure you will be happy with yours but in this case you are being maltreated

- and diamond - they left their gift at home means they didnt get you any - thats the usual line - sorry - its not even like you care - but they try and make it a big deal - if it is still bathset - send them to me pls...hehehe.

Daddy's Girl said...

This made me laugh! I feel you o, no be by force!

Funmi said...

Thank goodness i am not the only one that has a problem with getting gifts that aren't functional! When people use the cliche 'its the thought that counts' it really annoys me. Maybe ur aunt has a thing for bathsets. U really got me cracking up though......let's hope they switch and give u only a sponge this xmas :)