July 30, 2006

Dead vs Divorced

which is better
ive been questioning myself for the past couple of weeks
is it better for one of your parents to be dead or is it better to be divorced
you know it's take THIRTY SEVEN years for children to get over their parents being divorced....count it....1 2 3........37 years....I suppose it would take a life time to get over the loss of your parent...but at least the problems do not continue to perpetuate themselves over and over again. You never have to be stuck in the middle, each party accusing you of taking sides with the other party. Im confused...Im not sure. Hmm...what about being separated....is that better than divorce. To live in the same house but carry on as if you're not married by law. I know alot of ppl in that situation. Some of you reading this...you know that's YOUR house. How do you deal with it. These are the thoughts that run through my head when Im approached about marriage. It makes me think less and less of marriage. Actually the only thing I fantasize about is the actual wedding...I dont think beyond the ceremony. And when I think of my children?....they're all grown...i dont think of them being babies and changing diapers. I think of them handsome and beautiful with me their mom, the matriach...admired/envied by all...WOW WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. lol. my thoughts. im scared of marriage. i dont think i've admitted that before. it's like going to a strange place, a new country...you really want to go...you've never been there before...it's supposed to be great over there...there's an anxiety about going...kinda like the churning in your stomach before you start your relay race...*sigh*....I want to get married...because by my faith that's the only instance where sex is allowed and i really really wanna have sex...lol. Had a conversation with a friend today. He's really handsome. We actually said about 3yrs ago that if by age 30 neither of is married we will marry each other but God help me I dont want to marry that boy. He's hardworking although I think he may be susceptible to dubiousness. He's handsome...so sexy it's sinful. But he admitted he cheated on a girlfriend a while back and it was HER fault. and today he said I should research the reasons why people cheat that i may be surprised about what i learn. Hmmm...I cant marry someone like that and he's asthmatic and Im scared he may have an attack while we're having sex and I'll be scarred. And he has this job that I HATE...anything that has do with secrecy and nigerian government...please let me pass by...that's how my body parts will be spread/sold in different states. But I guess having such a job could be useful for my sometimes vengeful mind. See the thoughts that run through my head? This is mild. I dont want to scare anyone away...let's just say in my head the switch between sanity and insanity sometimes gets faulty....

went blog surfing today. saw DNG's post on racism. Delot if you're reading this, loved all your responses..you were on point!!! saw no use to make a comment when you'd said it all. interesting that i read that today when just yesterday i emailed my sister about being a slave owner...also read Sola Baale's post on identifying people by their make up...thot that was funny. Someone once told me im one of the few she thinks look good w/o makeup...but she wears glasses...soooooo...WHAT AM I SAYING...lol...Dilichi talked about mainland vs island...now if yall didnt know Im THE KJA Diva...that's Ikeja for those of you islanders scratching your head. This reminds me of one of my friends, his name is Moha...lived in agege...his TAGS were GGE...Great G**** Empire he dubbed it....Moha...I've had some interesting acquaintances in my lifetime...thoughts for another day

in other news...according to some research done in the UK....Denmark is the happiest place on earth... got this from an article on AOL

another article from AOL talks about what to do when you have a car accident...please take a moment to read it...this is knowledge I wish I'd had...just like when i read NyjaGuy's blog and immediately consolidated my school loans...just doing my part in spreading the knowledge

how was your weekend?

15 comments:

Sola Baale said...

Very Very(Extremely) interesting read...I mean the entire blog. Surely your name isn't Diamond Awkins(insert H-factor here)Anyway, both death and divorce are extremely devastating for kids but I believe every human has the natural God-given ability to recover from any form of misfortune.
BTW, my instinct tells me that if you used make-up, it will be NW50 on Mac. Don't worry, I use this trick as a chat-up line for most ladies...trust me, it works in real life.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

your instincts are wrong wrong wrong.... what did i say on your blog...so u think im yoruba i guess

lol@ Awkins...

Sola Baale said...

I read through blogs quite quickly and I've concluded from yours that you are Yoruba although you have a lot of Ibo friends.
OK, after a considerable thinking process, I conclude that you are one of the outliers(not a bad thing) in my foundation-shade detection strategy. I therefore conclude you are an Earth 1(Iman) or perhaps NW45 on Mac. If shade is lighter, then a parent is non-black or perhaps initial Hypothesis is wrong and you are an Ibo babe.
P.S
You are definitely not a Clay or Sand(Iman)! and trust me I've never worked for a cosmetic shop b4.

Sola Baale said...

Sorry, just read your post on my blog...Anyway, was cheating on this one as per your "Funsho Williams" post but you might be a mix: "Yoruba-Ibo"

DiAmOnD hawk said...

lollllll...sola you have me cracking up...

but you're right about me having alot of igbo friends...it just happens that way...some ppl think im delta/igbo...maybe edo...hmmm...

DiAmOnD hawk said...

hmmm...sola you seem to know more about this make up thing...all i do is go to the mall and have the make up ppl tell me what to get...i just cant seem to get into this make up thing...i try and try...

um so is baale your real name? like prostrate?...

Sola Baale said...

I have not thought of my name that way since Primary School but your not too far from it.
Anyway, a Baale could be the head of a Yoruba village, town or kingdom but typically a kingdom is headed by an Oba. Yes, Baale is my real name(surname) but more importantly, is Hawkins your real surname and is Diamond your name?

Uzo said...

Soory to interrupt the tete a tete (LOL) but is your name really Favor? Interesting. So this blog is one of the reasons i am waiting to be absolutely sure before i say I Do. 30 something years to get over divorce? Good grief

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i deleted the previous comment uzo but yes, that is the name my mother blessed me with...Better than "comfort" dont you think...except your name is also comfort in which case...ignore that line :-)

so Mr.Baale...is it that you dont like my name? :-) Honestly when i tell "our" ppl my name, they're like "HUH? IS THAT NIGERIAN"...

NaijaBloke said...

Diamond from my own perpective abt ur blog,I think it is more devastating for a child loosing a parent than divorcing.At least in most instances u can still see ur dad or mum when u feel like see them,but when u loose a parent especially at a younger age,it's carzy.

I was 12 when I lost my dad and I was very close to him.I actually had problems after that with my mum cos I was not that close to my mum and I was used to talking to my dad abt everything.It now again depends on how the said parent died again.
It took me a long time to be able to talk to my mum that till 2day my mum still believes I am capable of doing anything without anybody knowing.I have an older brother who is a mummy's boy to the core so my mum was expecting me to be like him growing up,but from going to a boys only school,where u get to defend urself from a pretty young age from all those crazy seniors,u tend to keep stuffs to urself which was actually compounded with me loosing my dad.

The only thing I love my mum for till 2day is that she never remarried which am pretty sure would have had some other kind of effect on us cos I have 2 junior sisters and a junior brother.

With a reply to ur blog the only ppl that can actually describe the effect is the person that has actually gone thru the phase.Like Sola said "every human hasthe natural God-given ability to recover from any form of misfortune",but the rate at which we recover is different and the way we react to it is different as well.

Sola Baale said...

I like your name very much ooh!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

you do ehn....so if we got married...would you give yours up?...

see how Im always talking about marriage with you....SOLA WHAT DID YOU PUT ON YOUR BLOG THAT HAS BRAINWASHED ME EHN?

i like your sense of humor...:-)

Just Thinking Out Loud! said...

I'm jealous o, Sola Baale! You're taking my wife. lol! Just kidding o, Ms Diamond, before you kill me.

Diamond ke? That's your real name? For real? Nice one for sure. I just always thought you made it up.

Glad the loan consoldiation entry influenced you out.

Nice entry!

Olawunmi said...

as far as i can see, being divorced is far better than having a dead parent. to my mind its a no-brainer really: if someone is alive, they are always available to you when you need them, even if they cannot be with you everyday.

ask anyone who's lost a parent if they would trade their parents' marriages for a chance to have them around again.

great blog though

DiAmOnD hawk said...

@JTOL...yeah...good entry you had there...but please...can i get one that will make it all VANISH?...that's what i need help with now