April 20, 2006

H-Factor

Everyone has their likes and dislikes and I'm no different. There are a few things that irk me in life...things such as guys leaving the seat up or people not pushing the toothpaste from the bottom...please...that's nothing. Guys with extremely hairy backs and the ones that dont shave their pits...that's gross...and KILLER breath...hmmm. Now people may differ in their opinion about the "pits" issue...but whatever! I remember once in Boston, I went for some carnival and this guy was riding a bicycle and I mean he was DRIPPING sweat and the hair from his pits was soaked and....it was just gross...believe me...

Do you want to know the one thing that makes me look like Im sucking big ole slice of forest green lime???

H-FACTOR

What is H-Factor? read on

One evening I was chillling with my girls and Chris called. Chris and I met unconventionally. I was playing pranks but it turned serious...because of his friend who was also interested in me....anyways I digress....

Chris called me. He was leaving from LHR to LOS. Being conversational I asked him what he was wearing to the airport. He said "Hash colored pants". Hash colored? "What is that" I turn around looking quizically at my two friends. Is that like earth tone, brown, beige....I keep repeating it and Chris keeps repeating it to me. Both of us thinking the repitition will bring some clarity.

All of a sudden, it clicked....ASH colored
Oh my goodness!!!
I just burst out laughing. Chris was like "why are you laughing"...I felt so bad. I said it was just something on TV...but I think he knew and that made me feel just awful cuz I'm not one to make anyone feel less than they are. I mean I'd heard the H factor here and there but I thought I could work around it but then I started to think about my family and what would happen when on our wedding day he had to repeat his vows and my peeps would start laughing...even I would cringe...oh goodness...this isnt going to work

But I tell you, Chris had a thing for me. I broke up with him eventually to be with the person Im with now but he calls me up from time to time to see if I've broken up with the current guy. If I were him, Id be more worried about the 'friend' he "hooked" me up with who was trying to run his own game...but I liked him(the friend)...even changed phone plans so we could talk everyday endlessly...but it was nothing romantic...at least not on my end...and it most definitely was not Chris' intent

....Anyhow...When you think about what you want in a guy...Chris had everything. He was a genius, well learned, motivated...romantic, thoughtful....I mean think of your prince charming and Chris had the qualities...He was beautiful...he is beautiful. He's got this interesting laugh...but I could talk to him about everything...I mean it's rare that I find someone matched w/me as per intellect...religion, music...politics..... He sent me an email/ some times back and I saved it but I think I'll share it with you today...part of me still wants to hold on to it and allow no one access....and this is the WWW ...maybe I'll leave it on here for a little while...no one should copy it abeggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Definition of H-Factor: A condition someone has where they add "h" to any word beginning with a vowel and remove the H sound from any words that begin w/an H and a vowel...
e.g. egg becomes Hegg and House becomes Ouse

9 comments:

LondonBuki said...

I feel you on that H-Factor thing. But I will never say never sha... Right now I don't think I can marry a guy with H-Factor cos I know how much fun I make of people that have H-Factor. What if I carry my BIG head later in life and fall in love with a man with H-Factor? So I will never say never.

Funny thing happened once - I was having an argument with a friend and he said to me, "Get off your 'igh 'os", I was like WTF are you talking about... He went further to explain,"U are feeling all 'igh and mighty, get off your damn 'igh 'os"... Ohhh.... he meant get off your High Horse... LOL!!!!

B said...

Dude, you are not shallow in any way, H-factor is just not it AT ALL...I mean this guy I know has it bad. He actually said "Happreciate"! WTF is that?
I don't feel so bad anymore for being turned off by it. And I really hope I don't marry someone with H-factor, it’s just embarrassing!

@ londonbuki...u are too funny, I can imagine the look on your face when he said that!

Olawunmi said...

the brutha could write though!!!!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

what makes it funnier is the repetition...or how adamant they are, repeating it when you dont get it at first...God help us all...lol...kai but i feel awful..it's like it's an unspoken thing...and ive put my feelings on blast

To Olawunmi: yes..he can write. I miss that alot. He teases me...he'll call me and say "i wrote you a poem"...hmmm but since we're no more...i guess i dont get access...*wistful sigh*

Mphahlele said...

hmmmm...h-factor.
tee hee

Dilch said...

I honestly don't think h factor matters that much. In the grand scheme of things in terms of if you end up with someone and make your life together, it's just not that important, and he can always change that about himself. Is he gentle, caring, considerate, does he treat you the way God loves you (enough to die for you) that's what matters. A good man is hard to find, there are enough really horrible men out there, who cheat, lie, hit their women - h factor seems a really small thing in my opinion.........

azuka said...

So what if you got someone with the 'R-factor' (where all rs are unpronounceable) or an Ijaw guy with the Z-factor?

I don't know, but one of my best friends had both R and H factors and we got along just well...

DiAmOnD hawk said...

LOL... a Z factor? Id have to hear it. A year can really make a difference because I find myself not so so bothered by it now...

R factor? probably an american thing...

azuka said...

No. For some reason, I've always said people who use the 'w' sound because they can't pronounce 'r' [saying stuff like 'Henwy'] have an R-Factor, and some Ijaws [pronounced Ezons] who can't pronounce 'j' but say stuff like 'zentleman' have a J-Factor. Just clarifying.